Should I or no?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Abrt, Jun 29, 2011.

  1. Abrt

    Abrt New Member

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    Long story short, there's this girl who I really want to be with. I was rejected by her. I don't know why, but I just can't seem to get over her for some reason. I'm planning on giving myself some time this summer, date other people and get over her.

    Now if I feel I'm still not over her at that point, I'm planning on just showing up to her house and telling her how I feel about her and stuff. Is that good/romantic or whatever or creepy?

    Your thoughts?

    Need more of a back story?
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Hi Abrt, you did not post anything on your profile, not even your approx age so difficult to give advice but the suggestion of cold calling is unlikely to work in your favour.
    How did she reject you?
    Once only or did you persist trying out different scenerios?
    Sometimes a girl needs time to get a sense of the new guy plus if she thinks you are worth it she may play hard to get for a while and see how you react.
    Personally and only in this context I never take an initial no as as a definitive answer.
     
  3. Mittimer

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    Coming from a girl. If I rejected a guy and he randomly shows up at my house to "tell me how he feels" well, that would be incredibly creepy and stalkerish in the worst ways.

    No means no. A phone call maybe, an email, but showing up at her house could make her incredibly uncomfortable and set you up for even more heartache.
     
  4. 33stack

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    move on.
     
  5. backcheck64

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    Just showing up is a good way to get shot. She isn't into you and I don't care how you feel about it, you don't have a shot in hell, find someone else. PERIOD.
     
  6. Trond

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    She is probably not interested, and showing up at her house is likely to make her uncomfortable. In fact, it will put her in an awkward spot even if she's a little bit interested, since she will feel that she has to make up her mind then and there.

    If you have to contact her again, send her and email or even an old-fashioned letter. Don't be surprised if you never hear from her though.
     
  7. XXXdragon

    XXXdragon Member

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    dude i agree with everyone that showing up at her house is a bad idea in so many ways.

    However i do believe that it is a good idea for you to write her a letter telling her everything that you think and feel then send it to her. It will be good therapy for you to get it off your chest, and trust me i know from personal experience it deffinitely helps you find some closure.

    PLEASE!!!! PLEASE!!!! PLEASE!!!!! DO NOT DATE ANY OTHER GIRL JUST TO GET OVER THIS ONE. I know on the inside it seems like a good idea; but the truth is 99% of the time it will backfire on you. One: it will taint the relationship with this other girls ghost and she will never be able to live up to what your image of the 1st girl was like. two: since she will never live up to your expectations the relationship will fail and youll end up hurting another girl and youll end up feeling like crap. Three: because the relationship (or relationships) fail you will start to miss the 1st girl even more and you end up even more lonely than before. FOUR: and this is an important one.... give yourself time to heal. does it make sense that if you were playing football and you got tackled broke an arm and a couple of ribs that your should try and go back out on the field the very next day in order to help ease the pain? OF COURSE NOT!! Thats a rediculous idea. so why would anyone do it with matters of the heart?

    If you do date someone date them because you want to be with that person and not because you want to get over someone else.
     
  8. Meee

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    Another vote for "Yes, it would be creepy."
     
  9. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    you better bring something she's interested in if you show up at her door.

    i don't think its wrong or creepy to want to express your feelings to her, but showing up at her house is coming on a little too strong. what you could do, is ask if she wants to meet up with you somewhere that is less personal and talk wih her, if she doesnt want to do that then expressing your feelings will be pointless anyway.
     
  10. CosmicEye

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    I agree with a phonecall at most. Never a knock on the door in tears, begging her to take you.
     
  11. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    You need to make a distinction. My guess is you don't know her and she doesn't know you. What you are attracted to is your own idea of her, and in your mind you have equated her with your idea of her.

    You need to realize the difference and open yourself to the possibility of enjoying someone that might not be the same as your fantasy.

    As for the girl, most likely having not had this epiphany contributed to whatever behavior led her to reject you. Unless it was some casual rejection that you took as something more, you may already have made a bad first impression and it's better to just move on.

    Any way that the situation is, going to her house is imprudent. If the opportunity to casually say hi that might be okay, but that doesn't mean learning about her routine and planting yourself on some route she regularly walks so you can bump into her either.
     
  12. clooney

    clooney New Member

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    I would not show up to her house
     
  13. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    eh I don't know about that. I wouldn't if I was you, that's for damn sure. If you feel you've had a mutual connection and for whatever reason she's holding back feelings I'd say maybe. It's better to get over her. I've had girls fall through before that I liked. After some time, being surrounded around friends and such you forget she even mattered. Girls aren't worth it to trip on unless you've already been in a relationship for some time with them. If they wont give you the time of day why giver her the satisfaction of being just another guy to like her? Don't do it bro:D
     
  14. Untamed

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    How did she reject you? which words did she use? and what is it about her that has you so SPRUNG?
     
  15. NedF

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    Send her a bouquet of yellow roses with a card inviting her to coffee in a public place.

    If she does not call or calls and declines - move on.

    If she meets you and after the coffee does not seem interested - move on.

    If you hit it off get married and have kids then name your first born after me... Ned or Nedzelda
     
  16. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    Wonder if this dude is ever gonna come back and see what we've said.