Should I chase?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Ice Cold, Jan 4, 2011.

  1. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    Met this girl back in October, we hit it off pretty good. I can say I felt a real strong spark and initial attraction, pretty sure she did too. We've been intimate, no sex but we both wanna take it slow. Problem is she has a lot on her plate, 2 jobs and getting her masters, this is fine but I feel like she is not making effort to see me. When we do see each other its a Lil awkward at first cause its usually 2-3 weeks between dates so it takes me a second to get into a comfortable zone with her, but when we're there its great.

    We share a lot of passionate kisses and I've asked her twice where she wants to go with this relationship she says she wants to take it slow and does like me. That's good and all, but her actions say otherwise. She has been AWOL lately, I called her Christmas Eve and text her Christmas day, she hits be back that night merry Xmas! I got a migraine I will get at you later.. new years week she stops answering my calls 3 days prior and hits me up Saturday evening via text asking bout my holiday... I'm not her man or anything, but I do feel slighted by this, I think most people would.

    I really like this girl, her first impression was very strong on me, but I am thinking that's blinding me to the obvious. My friends say I should just forget about her, but I want to confront her on this. If she don't want me that's fine, I'm a grown man I will keep it moving, I just feel I am owed at least an explanation for the change.

    What do y'all think, should I just write her off as a loss, or should I try to figure out what's going on with her?
     
  2. EscortBunny69

    EscortBunny69 New Member

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    I would forget about her and if she is that interested she will contact you. Don't waste your time chasing her :shrug
     
  3. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

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    I'm with that advice also.
    Pretend or be "hard to get" and if she has any strong feelings for you she will come back and if not then you never had a chance anyway.
    Plenty more fish in the sea just use the right lures.
     
  4. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    I agree with the bunny and the bush (no offense intended, I just like how that sounded :)). Do not confront her, just stop pursuing and spend your energies elsewhere. Based on what you posted, confronting her will likely just put her into a corner where she might feel uncomfortable with you (think "stalker" as an extreme), or justify to her a total break. If it was meant to be she will come back. If not - don't let this blind you to the many other opportunities that are out there.
     
  5. Texas_Red

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    I have to be honest I think you're making more of it than it really is. You've stated she is incredibly busy. Two jobs plus school leaves little to no time for a personal life, and when she does have that time, she's going to have friends/family that come first. You've known her for roughly 2 months and you seem to be acting as if you guys are an exclusive couple now. It does sound like she's interested based on what you say, but you seem to be expecting an awful lot so quickly.
     
  6. igor

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    I have to agree with Red on this one. 2 jobs and working on a master's certainly has priority. How much longer is her schooling?
     
  7. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    Thanks for the advice y'all. I'm not to fond of playing hard to get, I'm not hard to get, I am hard to keep.. I try to stay true to my emotions and not put up a front. This part of relationships and courting confuses me because I thought we are supposed to be honest with each other.

    But I agree, I am gonna do my own thing and pay her no mind. I do have expectations for the holidays, I mean I'm not even Christian but I get in the merry spirit and spread the love. I just kinda assumed most ppl are like that and like to be joyfully around this time of year, she said its her favorite holiday too. That's what really messing.

    That and my friend said I am suffering from the one -itis, which is where u become fixated on your current prospect relationship cause its been so long since you've had a good one :D

    Thanks y'all I appreciate the input and am open to more.
     
  8. IloveSex415

    IloveSex415 New Member

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    I totally understand your situation. It's hard to let go when you like someone, even if they don't give you the time of day. I've been there (I am there). If she wants you she'll let you know. There is someone out there that will respond to you more than she does.

    I'm basically in the same situation...I really want to see this girl all the time, and we barely hang out. So hopefully, I abide by the advice I just gave you. Good Luck
     
  9. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    I think what is really meant by "hard to get" is to respect her boundaries and give her space. If she calls do not act like you are too busy to see her, but if you call or contact her and she does not respond right away, do not follow it up with more calls/contacts until you hear from here.

    I can relate slightly to her workload concerns. There was a time in college when my Bunnie felt we needed to cut down seeing each other. This was an Ivy League school with lots of work, and we were both the first generation in our family to go to college, so getting a degree was the number one priority. Bunnie was pursuing both undergraduate and graduate degree,s and (as I) also had a campus job. She felt her grades and studies were slipping and wanted to limit seeing each other to weekends to get back on track. My instant reaction was concern about her wanting to reduce our time together, but frankly I really admired that she had goals she wanted to accomplish and was willing to make sacrifices to achieve them. It worked out and we more than made up the time during the latter part of our senior year. :)
     
  10. andretti

    andretti New Member

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    Maybe she's already answered your question. Maybe she simply wants to take it slow.

    Two jobs and a masters degree leaves very little spare time, especially if her goal is to take things slow.

    I've always advised my daughters to take things slow in a relationship - no need to rush into something; that's how a lot of bad relationships get underway. After all, she's only known you for a couple of months.

    My advice would be to simply slow your chase, out of respect her wishes. Then, see if something develops after that.
     
  11. backcheck64

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    As it's been stated, with two jobs and getting her masters, you are nothing more than a distraction right now. You are the wild card so you'll get trumped. She needs the jobs to survive, the Masters is a definate for her future, you? might work, might not. Either take what you can get and be happy or move on to someone with more time for you.