Should I Be Worried?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by cherrie_84, Jul 11, 2013.

  1. cherrie_84

    cherrie_84 New Member

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    Recently me and my bf have been having some arguments about sex. I've been thinking we've been making some progress however I've noticed he's been acting weird on his computer.

    His only computer is in the living room, next to the TV. For a while, I've noticed he's been on this website that's all black. I've never seen this website before so I got curious and looked at his screen from our couch. I saw that he had a very suggestive picture of him with no shirt that I assumed was a profile picture. I also noticed him chatting with various people that I know are women with little clothes on themselves.

    The other night I saw l it only covers the bottom of the screen (this is after I've asked what he's doing). I clearly saw breasts and thongs and him in a chat what I think he might be doing, he would be very upset with me. Is there anyway I can confront him without sounding too accusing? I don't want to come off that way if he really is just talking in a friendly manner (I'm not insulted by him talking to pretty women, just in a sexual way). I feel if this was the case he wouldn't be clearly hiding this from me.

    Thanks for any advice <3
     
    #1 cherrie_84, Jul 11, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2013
  2. Mittimer

    Gold Member

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    I'm on fetlife and have been for many years. If he's hiding things from you, yes, be worried. Fetlife is a fetish site, much like facebook where you meet and friend up people..except it has to do with sex and fetishes. There are various groups for people to talk to each other in that are specific to each fetish. For example, I like kinky geeks, so there's a section called "kinky and geeky".

    There's also a chat, but you can only chat with people that you are friends with. Meaning that he's made "friends" with various people on there.

    So yes, as someone who is a member of this fetish site, if he's hiding it from you, be concerned and confront him about it. Personally, I doubt he's just being "friendly" with anyone from there. He's flirting, posting suggestive picture of himself etc.

    There's really no easy way to go about talking to him about this. Let him know that you know what this website is, that you're aware of what goes on and you're curious as to why he's on there and why he feels the need to hide it from you.

    Either way, I'm sorry. If you need to talk further about it, privately message me. I've been part of that website for many years.
     
  3. cherrie_84

    cherrie_84 New Member

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    Thanks so much for this advice. I confronted him last night and he explained everything. Turns out he was just there to look for new ideas and advice for the both of us. He was really embarrassed to admit that he needed to ask for help and that's why he did not talk to me about it. He said he didn't like the site because the people were too aggressive and weird. And it turns out the dick pics were for an "Am I Normal?" thread. I knew he'd been feeling weird about that area since we've been going through our problems so I'm glad he got that out of system. Still he was super embarrassed so I haven't asked him anymore.

    I feel A LOT better today, thanks again.