Should I assume she understands?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by rocker84, Mar 8, 2007.

  1. rocker84

    rocker84 New Member

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    I had already related this story in another thread but I had another question about it which was different enough I figured I should make a different thread.

    So, the other night I hooked up with a girl I've known for a while. Let's call her Jen. I knew it was going to happen and so I had kinda been nervous about it the whole day. Long story short my nervousness got the better of me. We started with me on top but quickly switched to her on top. When we did I had trouble inserting myself, get even more nervous, and almost immediately went limp. She didn't seem particularly weirded out by it, but this did happen to me when I lost my virginity and the girl I was with then took it kind of personally as if I didn't find her attractive. I'm just wondering if maybe I should try bringing it up and explaining to Jen that it had nothing to do with her or whether I should assume she knows and just forget about it.
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I THINK...if you're concerned about it, you should talk about it. And she should get into the same habit with you. If it's still on your mind, you're concerned, so it should be discussed. At the end of the conversation you can encourage her to do the same with you, by asking her if she had been concerned or if you just overanalyzed, and make sure she knows you want to communicate well. Don't fret about something in a relationship for days; talk about it! You'll be happier, I THINK.
     
  3. rocker84

    rocker84 New Member

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    I do tend to overanalyze things, but at the same time I would feel really bad if she felt that it happened (or didn't happen) because she isn't pretty, because she's gorgeous. I care about her too much to let her feel bad about herself.
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Rocker
    Tell Her what you tell Us.
    Believe Me Women are very understanding
    No you dont ask "was that good" But if
    you have problems tell them and they will understand.
    They are much better than We are at understanding.
    Their the ones that have little babies that
    can't talk but has to be understood.

    Getting off my soapbox again.

    Love you Jillian

    hiker
     
  5. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I am one also plagued with the curse of overanalyzation. It irks some, but those who know me and love me understand that it's really just who I am. I take life seriously, but I live in the moment, every moment. The key to controlling the urge to overanalyze is communication; the longer you worry, the bigger it gets in your head and in your heart.
     
  6. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    If she is alright with it I would not necessarily bring it up. I wonder though if you had not been drinking or had a some herbs before having sex. If that is the case then there is a very good chance that is the issue. Drinking, herbs, certain prescription medications, and illicit drugs can have a major impact on erections. However if you had not been drinking, using herbs, and the problem continues then I would recommend seeing your family doctor.
     
  7. kora

    kora New Member

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    You definitely think this girl is superior to you. You do not feel confident, afraid to make mistakes...disappoint her in bed. This problem in your mind results in a sex problem.
    By the way, when she is on top, you can tell her to grab your cock and put it in herself.
     
  8. girljo

    girljo New Member

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    If this was merely a hook-up, talk if you are trying to save face.

    If you like this girl and want to move things along, talk to her about it because at the root of the best sexual relationships are two people who can talk about sex, not just partake in it.

    good luck