she doesnt like sex like i do

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by idk, Aug 8, 2007.

  1. idk

    idk New Member

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    my partner and i have been going on for about a year and 6 months. not that long i know but its long enough for me to really find out that she is not as sexual as i am..

    pretty much everytime im horny and want sex she just wants to cuddle or do something else.. i can honestly say its like she is never horny. we went about 3 weeks once before any kind of intercourse and she was not one bit horny..

    anyway now that you get the point, my question is how do i know if this girl is right for me.. i feel really good about her in every way the only part she lacks is the sexual activity and i dont know what to do about it?
     
  2. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    the sex part is a problem, and if you have a high libido and she does not.. eventually this will be a breaking point for your relationship..
     
  3. Joe

    Joe
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    Sexual incompatibility is one of the leading problems between couples. If the difference in libidos is small it can be overcome with a little understanding and give and take, but if it's huge it probably means it'll always be a problem. The only thing you can do is talk about it and see what her feelings are about the problem. Chances are she doesn't think it's a problem. If so, you have your answer.
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Probably just a low sex drive.
    But often as not it is caused by the man not taking the time
    to get her fully aroused and ready.
    You say She wants to cuddle then do it with a lot of kissing and fondling
    and see if it goes anywhere.

    Hiker
     
  5. idk

    idk New Member

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    tried that one.. she just gets pissed off and says thats all i wana do and it turns into an argument about being sexual and just cuddling and loving
     
  6. cbrmale

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    I am pretty certain my wife's sex drive is lower than mine, but her take is that she doesn't need to 'need' sex to have it, so we have sex about three or four times a week. We got to this point through me communicating my desires, and her understanding just how much regular good sex meant to me as her lover.

    Communication is the key if you are sexually unsatisified. Verbalise your desire, and see where it takes your.

    Oh, the other important thing is LOVE! Nothing makes sex as special as love, and sex makes love stronger. Be romantic, show your love, make her feel like she is the most special woman in the world.
     
  7. vitia

    vitia New Member

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    man you must to look for another .and every thing will be alright .in any way sex it`s the most important :) good luck man
     
  8. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    If I care for someone I "feel" like I can put up with it. Every time I have tried it I was wrong. Every day that went by the resentment I felt got bigger and the farther away she moved. I don't know the answer but I do know it will not "just get better". You have to do something. Good luck.
     
  9. dboy129

    dboy129 New Member

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    If you don't talk about it, this problem will gradually build up and up, and will eventually break up the relationship. Sit her down, and talk to her about how you feel.
     
  10. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    I would say it is definitely worth discussing this with her. Otherwise you are just going to get more and more resentful. Explain to her that sex is important to you and you are concerned that she doesn't seem to want sex with you. Maybe you are simply incompatible sexually but you will never find out if it could be different unless you talk to her.
     
  11. HouseHunny

    HouseHunny New Member

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    There is no beating around the bush...You must talk to her about this. The guys so far are right. You will grow more resentful about this all. She may not even see there is a problem. Trust me...when it is the real deal...you will feel it in every way. You will be the most open minded person, open to be yourself and open about who your partner is. It is an awesome feeling.
     
  12. cook74

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    A lot of the posts are missing the point ie. What's more important, the sex or the person? If you like, love, appreciate, etc. the person you are with then the sex comes second, the partner is whats important (BTW I really wish I believed the shit that I spout, but I don't, and my relationship is doomed ):(
     
  13. vitia

    vitia New Member

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    i agree with COOk74 totaly .he `s right 100%
     
  14. cbrmale

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    There is more to a relationship than sex, but sexual frustration has been the ruin of many otherwise sound relationships. Love includes sexual desire, even after decades together. It is the way humans (or perhaps male humans) are programmed: we love someone, we want to have sex with them.

    The ideal relationship (and there are lots of these around) is one where you are best friends and lovers: where your personalities are in synch and your sex lives are also in synch.

    For me, if I didn't have it already, I would be looking for a best friend and lover relationship, rather than settling for something that is third-rate.
     
  15. beachenit

    beachenit New Member

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    same thing here

    I totally understand what you mean. For the comment earlier made from someone else, well, he has a good sexual relationship, or either he has a low sex drive. I have a great relationship with my wife, but our sex life sux. It drives me completely crazy. I got married for various reasons. One being regular sex. Dont take it the wrong way. Many other reasons i married, but I lost that part. She gives no BJ's, and has to have sex in bed at night. No spuratic moments. No excitement. I might as well stick my penis in between the matress. Maybe not that bad, but sometimes i dont even give a crap. So, please help me too.
     
  16. Bluesy

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    Women don't just "lose" their sex drive for no reason, we don't stop wanting to please because we up and decide it's no longer necessary, it's just a matter of figuring out what exactly is going on. Rule out physical causes, and if there are none, look to the quality of your relationship. You may think it's hunky-dory, but that doesn't mean she does. Are you the same thoughtful, romantic guy you were in the beginning of your relationship? Are you sure you haven't changed at all? Sounds like you guys could benefit from a serious heart-to-heart about this subject.
     
  17. Silent22

    Silent22 New Member

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    Having a lack of sex doesnt always mean its a sexual problem. Sounds to me like something else is on her mind, like she knows the sex will always be there. Maybe shes just looking for the part where you just care for her. I mean I hate to sound like a girl but its not always about sex.. Maybe something else is wrong and is bothering her. Thats why definately what other people are saying, you must talk to her about your relationship as a "whole" and not just the sex aspect.