Sexually Frustrated?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Mandy87, Oct 25, 2010.

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  1. Mandy87

    Mandy87 New Member

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    OK so I havnt had sex in like a year now ! I havnt had a bf in over 2 years ( just havnt met a decent guy ) I have been very shy, but im starting to open up more : ) I am looking for a bf, but I just feel so horny and I need sex lol but I am more consertative so i dont wanna just fuck some guy or do casual sex , i dont know wat to do ( i do masterbate often but its not the same :( . I think im frustrated lol...i think bout sex all the time....I mean if i dont find a bf by this holiday should i just go get laid with someone? I just moved so i dont have any guy friends or friends with benefits
     
  2. Meee

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    Fuck it. I removed my answer. See the next post for why.

    (I removed my welcome too.)
     
    #2 Meee, Oct 25, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2010
  3. Mandy87

    Mandy87 New Member

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    wtf cant i get a a simple fucking answer pls...
     
  4. Mandy87

    Mandy87 New Member

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    fine ill fucking go out and have casual sex...will that make u guys happy? huh
     
  5. HardRocker

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    Whatever you do, don't do it for our happiness..
     
  6. Mandy87

    Mandy87 New Member

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    well no one will fucking accept me for what i do...she was telling me i wont go out and do it wtf...im like the only person that wants a bf before i have sex....but everyone thinks that soo wrong....please people give me opinions pls
     
  7. HardRocker

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    I have no way to know what anybody else told you. I know how it is to be so horny you're about to explode, but it would sure be nice to meet and make friends with someone before you give yourself to them. You can't make that decision depending on anyone else's acceptance (no one will fucking accept me for what i do) but your own.

    Being new in town sucks that way. Sorry, I don't have the easy answer. You'll get more answers here, but this isn't a lightening fast forum, discussions tale place over hours , sometimes days. There are hookup sites that will put you in quicker touch with others in your area.
     
  8. Mittimer

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    First off, Meee, don't remove your answers as we aren't here to make people happy, we're here to give our honest opinions on things, that wont make everyone happy all the time and they can deal with it.

    Mandy, check the attitude at the door and calm down when you speak to people on this forum. Generally you wont get answers lashing out at people for giving their opinion. There is no "simple" answer to any of this. Also, speak in full and complete sentences, don't use "wtf" and "pls" as full words. You aren't texting your friends, you're attempting to come off as a level headed mature human being which you're currently failing at.

    We don't know you nor do we know what to tell you. My opinion? If you want sex, do it. It's your body and your horny, nobody is holding a gun to your head to tell you to/not to do anything. If you want a boyfriend? Go out and meet guys. That's part of moving to a new town, getting to know new people. Am I saying that you haven't gone out and done this? No, I'm not. You haven't given us anything to go on in your post other then incoherent rambling of how horny you are and how you can't find a guy and of course how rude you are to our valued members when you lash out because you don't get the supposed answers you want

    The only question you've provided us with is whether or not you should go out and fuck somebody if you don't get a boyfriend by this holiday.

    Short answer to that: Do whatever you want to do.


    Now, if you want to step back, apologize for being bitchy to members for no good reason and give us a little more to go on, we may be able to give you some answers you might actually like.
     
  9. Sexwork

    Sexwork New Member

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    You need to go out to a bar 1 night, dance...met a guy, and have sex with him.

    The good thing about that is, you are occupied with dancing and drinks...and at the same time it allows a man who probabaly doesn't want a relationship to come onto you.

    I know that sounds cold, but thats what I do sometimes. Most guys from the bars just aren't serious about dating, but at the very least...you can get what you want and wait for someone serious to come along. Or try online hookups/dating.

    Just dont be surprised if the guys do not ever call again afterwards, or if they dont want anything. Its hard to accept, which is why I seldom meet for casual sex. But if you can find someone who is NOT boyfriend material (e.g. on levels of attractiveness, financial, marital status) then you stand a better chance of being able to move on and not feel like you fucked it up by fucking on the 1st night.
     
  10. Mandy87

    Mandy87 New Member

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    oh ok thanks, ill just go on a couple dates n go from there : ) and not worry bout it
     
  11. Sexwork

    Sexwork New Member

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    Thats the only way to go about it. And from experience...when moving to a new town, it takes about 3-6 months to actually get a steady boyfriend. You'll have lots of dates, and most guys are just out for fun. Don't expect too much because when you're new, naturally the guys are going to flock to you. But, I've been fortunant enough to meet boyfriends sooner in some cities. If he's really interested in a relationship, he'll make you wait for sex too...not fuck you and then say, "I wasn't planning on having sex tonight".

    Im a guy, and for some odd reason...I get very emotionally attached when I have sex with a guy I really like. All of a sudden I start dreaming of us being boyfriends, and just going out every weekend and being a 'couple'. I try not to let them know that too soon, but majority of the time it only happens for that 1 night of bliss...so savor it.
     
    #11 Sexwork, Oct 25, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2010
  12. Mandy87

    Mandy87 New Member

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    is there a way to delete this post? i wanna start a new one..: ( no one else well talk in mine
     
  13. NewHere

    NewHere New Member

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    You can always start a new thread. This forum isn't super quick to reply to posts though. It would be better to wait a few days to give everyone a chance to see it and respond.
     
  14. Mittimer

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    At this point in time, I will not delete this post as you've not given anyone time to reply. We're not instant. At times there are only 3 or 4 actual members online. You posted at 10pm expecting a flood of responses.

    As "NewHere" said, give it a few DAYS. Not minutes or hours to get responses.

    Also, the best way to get responses from our members, don't yell or curse at them. Generally that would turn anyone off from giving you what you wanted.
     
  15. hunter

    hunter New Member

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    Hi mandy. i think first u need to socialise and meet new people and then sex will come once ur out and comfortable with people. just be patiant and use sex toys etc till it happens xx
     
  16. cbrmale

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    I did a lot of casual sex when I was younger and sexually frustrated from time to time, and I think it's a great outlet when all else fails. Indeed, it can make forming a later relationship easier, as all that sexual tension has been released. Casual sex itself is challenging, hooking into someone and they into you and both of you being satisfied at the end. Those who are sexually experienced with a few partners could probably do it though.

    So my answer to your first post is that you should go out and find someone decent but not necessarily boyfriend material, and get laid.
     
  17. RoyaleWithCheese92

    RoyaleWithCheese92 New Member

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    I can reply more tom or in a private message if you would like but I completely understand what you mean. I have felt the same way. Don't give up. Give me a day or so and I will be able to answer you.

    Sorry, I just meant it as, its 2am and late. I have work in 5 hours.... yippy
     
  18. pyr

    pyr New Member

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    Dear Mandy,

    I can understand the feeling of being horny and not getting satisfaction, but for that we can provide ourselves. So, I sympathize. The way I feel right now (and been feeling for years), I could just run naked on the streets till a man would have sex with me.

    I'm a bit old fashion, so, have that in mind when you read my post. I'm also much older than you (two decades), so, I belong to a generation of dinosaurs.

    I think looking for a boyfriend is a bad way to go. What I mean is that you'll have expectations the first guys you meet won't met and you'll grow more and more disappointed. With disappointment, added to your current frustration, you'll become a little unreachable for they guys, because you'll be bitter.

    We expect, we go for it, we look for it, we do our bit. We don't get it, we try to cheer ourselves up. We go again, nothing. Disappointment, frustration, loneliness. We get bitter. When a nice guy actually happens to be in front of you, he'll feel how bitter you are, and he'll probably be driven away.

    How to solve the "I'm so horny and lonely problem"? I don't know. I'm in a long time relationship and trying to answer that question myself.

    But I start to believe I should just go out somewhere, find a man I fancy and have sex with him, so I could take this problem (sexual frustration) off my mind and care for other things.

    If I'd do it (so, if you decide to do it), I'd be very careful. Like someone already said, this hypothetical man only wants sex. There's a number of things he could do, because he doesn't really care for you. He could insist on unsafe sex (don't accept it!), he could take photos of you with his mobile and post them on the net (could you live with it? Be careful!), and so many things.

    So, if you do go out just for sex, to sort of have it dealt with and take it off your mind, be very careful. Don't do something that could bring you sorrow. I would, for instance, avoid the "having a lot of fun, drunk, cool" type of guy. He's too busy enjoying himself to think of consequences, etc.

    Also, if you choose to go for sex, be careful with the "bar" location. Because you could get drunk yourself and do things you'd regret afterward, agree to things you actually would not, should you have been sober.

    I hope I make sense. I'm not saying sex's bad. I'm saying: if you go for it, enjoy it, but in a responsible kind of way. Responsibility about yourself, self-preservation.

    Now, I don't understand what you mean when you talk about "guy with benefits", or something like that. What do you mean? Is it about money? I'm not being ironic, nor sarcastic, only genuinely puzzled.

    Another thing (now I'll be judging you based on so little - if I'm wrong, please, forgive me): you explode on this thread. Then you wanna have the thread deleted. It shows one thing that's very meaningful: you're impulsive, you say (write) things you regret.

    If I'm right, be extra careful while dealing with people. In real life, there's no deleting. There's no editing. Work on yourself, not only the sexual you, but on yourself. At 23, you could already try to know yourself well. What are the things you like about yourself? What are the things you don't? What kind of things you regret? What should you say to men you barely know? What are the things you wanna keep intimate, what are the things you'd share with a stranger? And with friends? How far do you wanna go?

    (These are questions for self-analysis, not to answer to me!)

    You should know who you are, before going after someone (be it for sex, be it for a real relationship). You should be at peace with yourself. Why are you angry? Why are you happy? This sort of things. What do you regret? Don't do it again. And why? Understand the reasons.

    None of us has answered all of these questions. We keep working on them as we grow, we change a bit, we discover new things about ourselves. But we should keep working on them.

    Do you have an aim in life? Are you working? If so, are you doing what you wanna do for the rest of your life? If not, are you working on ways to change this? Are you improving yourself?

    Don't rely only on a man (finding one) to define yourself. (I'm not saying you do, but I think it's worth to say it.)
     
  19. pyr

    pyr New Member

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    I was reading my post above and I think you may think it is bossy, as if I knew things better than yourself. It isn't so. Like I said, I'm working on the problem myself (sexual frustration). We know very little about you to be able to give better advice.

    If your convictions say you should find a boyfriend before having sex, then, stick by them. There's nothing wrong about it.
     
  20. backcheck64

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    You've got to put yourself out there, the perfect BF isn't going to fall in your lap. You're going to have to get over the shyness. Simply make a casual comment to a guy in a grocery store, hardware store, in line at a fast food restaurant. Join a gym, head to a crowded park and bike or jog, anywhere where single guys may be. I'd generally stay away from bars unless you are looking for just a hookup, few good relationships arise from the bar scene.

    I can't say I know your pain. Longest I've gone is 3 weeks since I was 15, 31 yrs ago, time right after our kids were born. In my younger years I loved the casual sex, racked up a lot until I met my wife, then it's been steady with her since then, but I was never shy about going after what I wanted. I never had a problem picking up a woman just about anywhere, my problem was more finding one I wanted to pick up, I tended to be very picky. Asside from putting yourself in situations where you can meet someone, not much else you can do. I did have a friend that met her husband in the personal ads...still married after 12 yrs. Have you made any female friends that can set you up?
     
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