My sexual life became something that I never imagined before. I've been always a girl with more than average sexual desires, to the point that in average, 1 out of 3 thoughts during a normal day were sexual. For the past two years my sexual life has decreased drastically. Is not that I don't have someone to fuck, it's actually that the person I chose to share my life with, doesn't share the same sexual desires I have. I'm not going to say she doesn't put an effort because she actually does, but I receive more rejection and sexual limits than sexuality from her. Chronically I began to become lazy for sex, or I don't even know how to call what has been happening to me. To make this more clear I will give examples, when everything began I was completely satisfied, we had regular sex with some role play and it was really exciting. Then with the time I began to ask for some dancing, some teasing, sexual games and toys, etc. and all of them were rejected. I was still ok you know, maybe she was too shy. The time kept passing, and nothing changed. Two years after, I found myself desperate, I desire her so much but trying to have sex with her has become so emotionally hurtful that I became "lazy" for it. Still, I have all this sexual energy inside that is driving me crazy, that is consuming me from the inside for have been holding it for so long. When we have sex I love it no matter how monotone it could be because I love her, but at the same time it just makes me feel more depressed and reminds me how miserable I feel with this situation. It has gotten to the point that I would rather evade having it, I choose now for masturbating since in my fantasies I can do and we can do anything my imagination has been craving for so long. I have tried everything so she can feel comfortable with me trying new things, and nothing has worked. Even when I ran out of ideas, I researched some more and still failed. Inside of me I have had vague thoughts of cheating, what if I would take all that sexual energy on someone else because this is dragging me and happily still in my relationship with our monotone sex. I know that sounded really bad, but I just love her so much that I don't want to leave her, but seriously this sexual frustration is getting worse with the time. It is so strong that gets me anxious, depressed, angry, desperate! Please give me an advice, I really don't know what to do anymore. My heart and my instinct are in completely two opposite directions. Thank you in advance!