Sexual problem...wondering if anyone has it or knows about it?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by chuckles22, Mar 21, 2007.

  1. chuckles22

    chuckles22 New Member

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    Ok so i've been sexually active for about 5 years now. I have had 8 different partners in those years, some long term situations, other one or two time occurences.

    Sex is really enjoyable for me and my partner from my experiences but there is a nagging problem that has continued to haunt me and to an extent my partners for the entirety of my sexual activeness.

    Some guys have problems with pre-mature ejaculations and the likes but I seem to have the opposite problem...I can not come to climax through sex. Not once, not ever have I climaxed during sex. It comes to the point where we have sex for so long that the girl is too sore to continue most of the time. At the beginning it was great because I thought i was a machine "sweet, i can do this forever!" i thought. But as you can guess, most people would want to climax during sex with someone they care about.

    Furthermore, not climaxing may bring an element of doubt into my partner's head and make her think "am I not turning him on enough?". This is fully not the case, but I have no answers for my partners as to why I can't. A night will usually start with some foreplay and then sex for a ridiculous time until the girl is sore, and then it could take up to about 10 minutes of oral sex to get me off. I do not want to continue like this and me and my current girlfriend are trying to "fix" me.

    Should I see a doctor? Does anyone else have problems like this?

    Thanks.
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I think a visit to the doctor is surely in order. He/she can rule out any physical problems that may be causing the lack of ejaculation during intercourse.

    Do you masturbate excessively? You could be trying to achieve sensations to the 'pressure points' stimulated from masturbation, but those sensations might not be attainable through vaginal penetration. I dunno - it's just a theory.... :shrug
     
  3. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    I don't think seeing a doctor will do anything for you because there is a 99% chance it is a mental thing.

    I had the same problems as you early on when I first started to have sex.

    Like you I would last forever and think I was a big stud and really pleasing the girl. The girl I was with didn't say anything at first... I would last almost an hour... finally cum... then put myself back in her and keep going... so she would have to endure about an hour and half of me pounding on her... I thought it was what women wanted and I was bad ass and all that stuff lol

    I kind of cringe now to think about how young and stupid I was.. but we all hear about how women don't want a 30s man or a minute man etc... so it is in all guys heads before we first have sex.

    She finally told me I had to cum sooner and I was making her sore... but I couldn't do it.

    Then one day I was really horny for her and I cummed in like 2 mins... then I woke her up later, got behind her and cummed in about 2 mins again.

    So I realized it was all mental...

    You don't want to cum too quickly - but you don't want to go too long right?

    So what I learned was how to make her cum 2-3 times within 15-20 mins or so.. then when I felt it was time to finish up, I would go really slow and just focus on myself and how damn good her pussy felt massaging my dick... then I would go ultra slow and within a few mins I was cumming hard.

    Too many guys make the mistake of going really fast and pound the woman to try and make themselves cum - you don't feel much when you start going that fast.. you can't focus on how good it feels.

    Also it may feel weird at first - but get verbal and tell her how tight her pussy is.. how you can't wait to cum in her.. on her whatever... swear and talk dirty... just say whatever you are feeling.. that will really get you going to, believe me.

    Now I can pretty much cum whenever I feel like it.. my g/f wants me to go another 15 mins... cool... she wants me to cum in 5 mins for a quickie before she leaves for work - no problem.

    It is all about focusing on how she feels and not worrying about if you are making her feel good anymore when you want to cum... she could have the tightest pussy in the world and you aren't going to cum until you start letting yourself experience how good she really feels as you are sliding in and out of her.
     
  4. HardRocker

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    I agree with Rose, it can be a problem if you masturbate too often. No vagina has a grip like your right hand, so that is what you get sensitized to. If you give it up for a while maybe you'll see an improvement. And Fliteskates is right too, try not to get all mental about it. I know that's easier said than done though.
     
  5. chuckles22

    chuckles22 New Member

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    i dont masturbate a lot...i think i do it quite modestly but i guess in my past i have had my months or weeks of a lot...

    once every two days or so depending on my sexual activity. is that a lot?
     
  6. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    No, that doesn't sound like a lot, I'm sure that there are guys here that do it every day. It's probably mental. Maybe you're just thinking about it too much, you're putting pressure on yourself to cum. It's similar to being under pressure to take a piss, it's hard to do it. Just relax and enjoy it.
     
  7. HardRocker

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    Every two days is not really a lot for your age, but it's worth holding off for a while just to see what happens. If you go a few days without doing it, you'll probably blast your girl off the bed!
    Good luck, and don't look at porn, or you'll never be able to abstain for that long.
     
  8. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    I noticed that you are 22 so I assume that you are still in college. You don't drink excessively do you? Because that could have something to do with it.
     
  9. mrmanguy2

    mrmanguy2 New Member

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    I have the exact same problem. I can only orgasm my own way (which isn't the normal closed fist way, but a weird way that I've been doing for a long time), not with my partner. I don't know what to do
     
  10. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    This is an age old problem that has haunted quiet
    a few men.
    Two answers that I quoted could be the cause.
    Drinking/dope, And excessive masturbation, It really doesn't seem masturbation is the problem, But I wouldn't rule it out. So when you know you have a date stay away from the 4 Sisters on Thumbs Creek for as long as you can before your date and see what happens.
    Also quit the booze if you do drink.


    Hiker:sf
     
  11. chuckles22

    chuckles22 New Member

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    i dont drink excessively, maybe once every 2 weeks or so. and even then it isn't excessive.

    i'll try stopping for a while and see what happens but stopping masturbating is a lot easier said than done.
     
  12. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    OK You just ruled out drinking.
    And I'm pretty sure you aren't overdoing the masturbating
    so I think I would see a Doc. and see if their is an obstruction.
    another question: Do you seem to have the feeling that you
    did cum, But just don't have any physical evidence of it.

    Hiker:sf
     
  13. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    First things first.
    You worry that the girl will think you aren't turned on by her?
    Keeping hard is enough to prove to her that you are.

    Lots of guys can go for hours when they're your age, I well remember those days!
    It's not a problem, you can ejaculate, so you know it's possible.
    Try to think of pleasing yourself more than pleasing her after a while, but hope it doesn't do a complete U turn and end up you losing your robot sex god status.
     
  14. gladwyn

    gladwyn New Member

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    As I have mentioned in my other posts also I am a fan of Robert Irwin......

    I was having problems in orgasms and sexual intercourse.. But it all has improved now..

    Just check the e book..
    SEXUAL MASTERY SYSTEM

    In case I find anything else worth reading I will post that as well.

    Till then ,
    Bye

    Gladwyn
     
  15. igor

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    I don't know how you masturbate but some guys use a tight full handed grip. If you do that, try using a gentler touch, using the fingertips. It's a whole different feeling. Get used to less physical stimulation and concentrate on the good feeling. Use a bit of lube too and see how that feels.