[Ask a Girl] Sexual Past

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by pawg69lover, Mar 15, 2013.

  1. pawg69lover

    pawg69lover New Member

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    Ladies,

    Just curious...If your boyfriend/husband asked you about your sexual past how honest would you be about it?

    If you had a past lover that was bigger and/or better in bed than your current partner would you be honest about that or keep it to yourself to spare his feelings and ego?
     
  2. Bunnyx

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    I was faced with this in the past and I was honest with my boyfriend (now ex) about it. He wasn't happy about it but I couldn't keep the truth from him. You can't build a healthy relationship on lies. I say that honesty is the best policy despite the deflated ego he'll experience. At least, if you're honest, you can present it in a way that expresses wanting to work with him and explore things sexually that will pleasure you more. It could be fun to explore new things and who knows maybe he'll end up being better than you've had before even if he is smaller. You never know. Personally, the biggest I've had wasn't the best I've had.
     
  3. Meee

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    There's a difference between asking a girlfriend about her sexual past, and asking how you compare to her past boyfriends. If you have to ask at all, ask the first one and leave the second one out.
     
  4. Anotherday

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    To me there's a big difference in telling about past sexual experiences and comparing your partner to previous ones.

    I've done "x" before and enjoyed it, I've done "y" before and didn't like it, I've been with "x" number of partners, etc, etc. are all fairly benign conversations.

    Where you can get into trouble is comparing your current partner to previous ones even if it's to tell the current one "you are better" "you are bigger" whatever to stroke an ego.

    Now, this goes to the one asking questions as well. You go asking for specifics you may not want to hear the answers so be careful there too.

    I certainly don't judge my wife based on aspects of previous relationships I've had. But then she doesn't ask too much about them either.
     
  5. Clintriprock

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    Yes I agree with above post. Saying "I've experienced this or that" is ok but "Joe used to do this or that to me and I liked it" probably would be a little too much for me. When I made a joke one day about this big steak I'd just bought and said "Well there isn't such a thing as too much meat" and she responded with "Oh yes there is" it was obvious what she was getting at.
     
  6. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

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    comparing lovers is just a no-no, someone always gets their feelings hurt. i agree with anotherday- you can share experiences you enjoyed or didn't enjoy, but saying so-and-so was better at something is just tacky. i once asked redic how many girls he had been with (over 20), and being a virgin myself, it was a mistake. i realized just how much more experienced he was, and it made me feel nervous and like i wasn't ever going to be good enough. it took quite awhile until i was ok with my own sexual status with him. I worried for several years that I wasn't going to be enough for him because i wasn't experienced at all, which led to the threesomes that nearly ruined our relationship. it wasn't until after we both cheated and almost split up that we really started communicating and appreciating each other's input and ideas and fantasies. i realized that i really only had to be myself, and he realized that there were just some things i would never really be ok with, and the pressure for me to be ok with them was unfair. life is a lot happier when there aren't a ton of ghosts in your bed.
     
  7. AtkCCC

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    This subject is always a very touchy issue. Most of us have sexual pasts prior to our SO. While my wife and I have been fairly honest with eachother we have never mentioned names or exact amount of partners. Sexual experience? Yes we have for most part we have discussed. Honesty is always the best policy but sometimes questions do not need to be asked. My wife had a more vaired sexual past than my plain(ish) experiences. By the time we actually got married I was totally comfortable with who I was getting hitched with.
     
  8. rileyjane

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    When my husband and i first got together, we discussed the number of previous partners and never went into any details.. We just left it at that and it was never an issue. I think sometimes TMI is a very bad thing
     
  9. xeniadraven

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    I think it can be dangerous if one of you is less experienced than the other, it can feel very overwhelming. My OH and i are very similar experience wise so we're lucky but i remember having that conversation with ex's and finding out they had a hell of a lot more partners than i had and it was frightening. I was assuming i'd be rubbish at everything before i'd even started.

    I would never lie as I have no reason to but I would certainly not compare my OH to other partners thats just rude.
     
  10. ISOParadiseCity

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    IME, I agree here. TMI can be quite an issue. Once you go 'there', you can't unhear something. And sometimes it not about ego. IME, the less I know, the better it is. Some people want to know as much as possible. I don't know why, but I think sexual past is in the past, and lets enjoy the future together. :D
     
  11. Sextalk

    Sextalk New Member

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    He asks me while we are having sex and does some of it to me al over again lol