Sexual Harassment or Normal Behavior?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Kermit, Jun 1, 2012.

  1. Kermit

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    Well third day on the job at the Foam Recycling Plant (weakly: go me!). Still trying to get the hang out of it, but one thing bugs the hell out of me. Maybe this is just normal industrial plant behavior, but I've been getting at times violently sexual comments from one of my coworkers (who may have power to fire people that's not certain).

    I'm not scared of him but it's at times very awkward to hear him talk about raping me in the trailer (we do shipping)..and made some talk about i would either allow him to enter me anally or he would stab me (no knife present, wasn't done in a threatening tone but was very odd nonetheless). I told him that i would not allow anything physical and he made a comment about how he doesn't ask he just takes. That was pretty much yesterday. Today was him saying i need to build up my forearms for loading the truck and suggested i should masturbate more. There was another time where he suggested i should go off and suck off the manager and proceeded to try to negotiate a price. And another point asked me if a woman has ever sit on my face.

    I just wanna do my job, i don't wanna get into this kind of stuff or listen to it or have him delve into my personal life. But i'm not gonna report him, so far it's been annoying but benign. Just wondering if i'm over reacting i guess.

    I don't quite understand Industrial Culture nor Male Culture (i might be male but i don't hang out with them much) but what the fuck? is this normal behavior for Industrial Workers trying to alleviate the tedium or is this as messed up as it feels like
     
    #1 Kermit, Jun 1, 2012
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2012
  2. ninja08hippie

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    That's sexual harassment by even the most conservative interpretation, talk to the person above him.

    As a side note, its a very interesting behavior of blue collar drones. From a quick profile, he is attempting to assert himself as the alpha male. My guess is that if you tell him to knock it off (tell him, not ask him) he will quickly realize his place. He may be your superior, but not enough so to show that kind of dominance. It's not a business thing, its an evolutionary thing, so regardless of your business position in regards to him, if you assert yourself as an alpha male, he will subconsciously realize that you are not to be dominated and will back off, for subconscious fear that you will begin to dominate him. Carry yourself as top-dog and he will respect you.
     
  3. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    Woah scary and def harassment
     
  4. OverSinged

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    If he can get you fired, call it sexual harassment and get him fired by someone that can fire him, otherwise you can probably get him off you're back by telling him to fuck off.

    *I claim no responsibility if the above advice backfires and the taker of said advice is injured in any way*
     
  5. Priapus

    Priapus New Member

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    Either he is fucked up or just fucking with you and senses that you are weirded by it so he persists.
    If this continues you will have to do something about it, personally I would hold off on reporting him. You just have to make him stop once you've had enough, holding it in may make you eventually explode, dont wait untill that happens.

    If it is extreme cockyness on his part and you get the impression that he doesnt care or even acknowledge that you are a man, a person, that you are indeed someone.

    Sorry bud this has me bothered because I have at some point been able to relate to how you feel. There is no use arguing with idiots, I find actions speak much louder than words. Either quit or face him head on!
     
  6. ninja08hippie

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    Some quick tips on subconscious alpha male dominance.

    1) Physical control - stand up straight, lead with your chest, your poise shows confidence, which is the biggest factor. If you see yourself as top dog, others will to. Proper poise and stature shows that you are a top male specimen, darwinism rules. Occupy HIS personal space, show that you are more comfortable being close than he is, it shows that you believe you could physically dominate him if necessary (even if you can't) which is an evolutionary breaking point and you know that because of the professional evironment that it wont come to that.

    2) Mental control - "will you stop harassing me?" in a questioning tone sounds weak. "you will stop harassing me." in a dominate tone sounds strong. Tell him what you want, don't ask him.

    You can PM me if you want more advice on stuff like this. I think asserting yourself is a better idea than reporting him. Reporting a bully to a boss is no different than telling on a bully to a teacher, it might temporarily get him to stop, but not show that you are not to be fucked with. I hate people like that and love to put assholes in their place.
     
    #6 ninja08hippie, Jun 1, 2012
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2012
  7. too_thick

    too_thick Member

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    He's obviously hitting on you and is interested in having sex with you.
     
  8. 12barblues

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    Kermit please dont take this wrong because i dont know u at all and i'm not commenting on you in particular , im just giving a glimps into a nastier work environment than what some folks know...being a blue collar guy all my life....none of that which he said surprises me....heard shit like that all the time..and worse....but i never felt like any of it was "meant".....just guys talkin' shit...just fire some bullshit back, you'll fit right in...white collar rules dont generally apply in a blue collar world...talking to the boss about it may result in him talking to the guy about it...or he could tell you to stop whining and get your panty wearin' ass back to work or he'll fuck you himself.....its a bit different than an office job , for sure
     
  9. Kermit

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    Lol, I'm not taking it wrong, i've had the same thought that it's the nature of the culture which is one of the reasons i'm hesitant about reporting him, although it's odd and somewhat disturbing, i don't sense any malice from him.
     
  10. 12barblues

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    i remember once we hired a young guy...i knew his mom....he was kinda like a little brother to me...he came to me , all upset about the stuff going on...sayin he was tired of people giving him shit all the time...i said, they do it because you react to it wrong and they get a twisted satisfaction from it...i told him to toughen up a bit and try giving it back.....we laughed our asses off the first time this kid told one of the guys to "suck it bitch"...such profane language from such a pristine young man..
    he fit in fine obviously......
    but again there was no real threat of violence from anyone...if you feel that is this guys intent then you should handle it differently...
     
  11. ninja08hippie

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    Exactly, he's telling you that he could, even if he wouldn't. Respond back in the same manner tells him that no, you couldn't, but I accept the jest
     
  12. cbrmale

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    I did some factory jobs when I was studying for my degree and I remember hearing this sort of banter, so I think it's almost normal in that socio-economic class. It was never directed at me though, and I think that's because I don't come across as a victim, even when I was 18 or 19.

    Kermit, I can't make you like me and you obviously exude a different sort of personna, and this might be the reason for the comments.
     
  13. backcheck64

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    use a recorder to document it, and get his ass fired. I've worked construction for 18yrs and that goes way over the line.
     
  14. Kermit

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    I knew you would have some input or insight, Backcheck :)

    btw Backcheck, we finished up the Shaw job in a week. I was the only one to see the 186 pallets finished from beginning to end and the guy i finished with started the day before, all my original team left and all their replacements left cept that one guy.
     
  15. Kermit

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    Yep that's where the "i don't ask i take" bit told him when i said nothing was ever gonna happen that if he crossed the line and became physical he would be reported to the superiors not to mention authorities since it would be sexual assault.
     
  16. Slipikins

    Slipikins New Member

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    That is FUCKED UP! I think arsenic is rather cheap and would be considered an investment!
     
  17. lbushwalker

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    Kermie, in your situation I would simply but forcefully have said "dude go fuck yourself and if that isn't enough go to a public toilet!"
    That sort of retort tells him;
    a) his approach is unwelcomed and in bad taste
    b) you are not about to take that shit seriously
     
  18. Kermit

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    well update, they've moved me to another area away from him (just something fortunate). My only contact was responding to a "hi" and him asking me where i disappeared off to which he said something about me tickling his "nutsack" i need to stop being civil and acknowledging him and just ignore him like he doesn't exist unless it's contact directly related tot he job
     
  19. CosmicEye

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    Some people just take the gay jokes way too far. I mean the guys usually call each other homos, fags, and make jokes about their moms in the shop, but what you are describing is way overboard. Maybe next time he said "tickiling my balls" or "bustin my balls", really do it. Come up to him and craddle his zipper or swing a plank between his legs. Youll know if hes gay and you can make fun of him if he lets you palm his bulge, or he will be in severe pain of literally busted balls.
     
  20. MILF_Rider

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    Surely you jest...

    I think if you say that it needs to be translated into his language.

    In college I worked on a project with a guy that was doing estimating in a machine shop, so he shared some of the language. "You want some fromunda cheese" "what the fuck is that" "from unda your balls"

    An appropriate response might be that you hope he has the decency to give a reacharound or can't he get a decent pussy to put that thing into...

    Chances are you could use a little alpha, and it'd probably make you better for learning the animal attraction needed to attract the opposite sex. If you think the dude likes you okay and is just messing with you, you might consider being up front that you're a pussy, and as far as he's concerned you're practicly a fucking virgin. Ideally he'll maybe back off and give you some manliness lessons.

    You have seen Gran Torino right, might give a slight intro to talking like a man when Clint Eastwood takes the Hmong dude into the barbershop...