Sexual fusteration

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ErrictedNipples, Jan 7, 2016.

  1. ErrictedNipples

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    So We been married for 8 yrs.Sex started out really good 3 to 4 times a week then right about the 3 year it started to fade to once a week to twice a month to once a month to once every once every 3 months.

    Are you kidding me?

    Mr honey as he profess got to have it a lot seem to fizzle with me.

    We are 7yrs apart in age which I did not think is a big deal..

    Usually these stories go the other way around. It is usually the wife not horny or giving it out.

    We talked and it ends blaming each other that I tried to Hint I want some but you don't seem to get the hint. Ya okay he has a funny way of showing it. If I try he just turn over and slap my hand away..

    We seem to have a neutral agreement when we have Jack and Coke. Jack and Coke seems to be a good sign for sex. So we had a couple the other night and had sex. Yeeeaahh. The down side.. I still want to do the next day and he seems done. My bet.... Be waiting until Feb. if I am lucky.....

    Cheers
     
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  2. 10_3XL

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    Not clear on if you're seeking advice or simply venting here, sweetheart. Care to elaborate? :confused:
     
  3. ErrictedNipples

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    o_OVENTING...... The story gets funnier, intresting, amusing..anyone can jump in with the same problem.... Lets claberate... Or have battle of the sexiest with it..
     
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  4. Sagittarius84

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    If not being too forward, You mentioned a 7 yr age gap(been there done that) how old is he? Can provide some background as to his drop in libido.
     
  5. ErrictedNipples

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    49 ( years young in everything else)
     
  6. ErrictedNipples

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    I am pretty sure hubby knows somethings up. I usually get some time to surf my phone watching porn or reading forums like these while at work. It gets agervating that he calls and keeps my phone tied up now.

    I'm not sure what is going through his head. It is probably not comforting that your significant other walk around with Erricted nipples all the time ( which is how I came up with this name) He will asked are you horny and my answer is how did you guess, his answer Erricted nipples, then I will ask where you been last couple days?

    I am circling red O's on the calendar this year. Each day we do ! A big red O On THAT DAY. ;)
     
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  7. Sagittarius84

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    so I could ask about lifestyle, weight gain, job status, any number of things...but what really stood out that was your mention of Jack and Coke being a prerequisite to sex. that says to me he still really wants it, but he has some anxiety dealing with sex or his personal life that prevents him from being as sexual as he would like to be. beyond your sex life have there been any other significant changes in your lives either together or independently that have come forth within the past 8 years?
     
  8. afunk13

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    You said you hint that you want more sex but have you ever actually told him that you want more sex? Hints do nothing actually tell him what you want. You can't hint and then get all huffy that he doesn't get it. Have a conversation without the blaming. Maybe he's stressed at work or something and you constantly blaming him for the lack of sex isn't helping.
     
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  9. ErrictedNipples

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    His daughters from a past marriage are slowly shutting him out. Our relationship has been pressed to it limit with the ex. She spent 3 yrs trying to throw him in jail when he gets laid back on child support. She keep her self connected with in his family and he knows I don't like that. The CS is fixing to come to an end though. Jobs been bumpy .. It was not until last year things start to level out. This year may be a better year but I doubt it. Will get our debts paid off with the IRS this year but a new one will start up since I don't have health insurance. We are both on anti depressants but what we are on the Doctor says it should not make our sex life disfuctional. . He is on Hydrocordone For the rest of his life he broke his back and neck twice.... He has normal moments and pain moments. Regardless the breaking happen before we met. He was a horn dog when we met and 3 yrs after marriage....
     
  10. ErrictedNipples

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    He does the same back.... I get the blame back when he says I don't catch his hints.. So we are on neutral grounds when it comes to that.... Pinching my tit and pulling them does not get the message accross espically when he does it on purpose , roll over and goes to sleep... Slapping my hand from a hand job sends the wrong message as well.
     
  11. afunk13

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    All of that stress and you are focused on sex. Why don't you both get counseling. And yes antidepressants can and will mess with libido. Read the info that came with it or look it up.
     
  12. ErrictedNipples

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    Wellbutrins do not sorry to disappoint you.
     
  13. afunk13

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  14. Sagittarius84

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    I can tell you during stressful times that my libido never disappears, but it is definitely measured, and so any initiation i put out there is a concentrated accumulation of sexual energy. If it is not responded to, it can be difficult to muster it back up again, not to mention the twinge of resentment, "oh NOW she wants to" that can result from one of her initiation attempts..
    Much like women, many of our sexual urges are driven by our sense of self worth, whereas women may be more prone do putting out if they they think lowly of themselves, i think men are the opposite..As stress relieving, comforting, and intimate as a sexual encounter with an SO can be, it tends to mean nothing when family concerns make us believe we don't "deserve" the release. So he has his ex wife and daughters essentially denying him a sense of his manliness, and now a current wife he's "unable" to sexually entice or satiate.

    I don't think you're going to get back into a more regular sex routine until the stressors are no longer a factor...in the meantime, as you seem to be the higher libido partner, perusing porn throughout the day, use that to keep yourself at a sexual peak( i use it to edge all the time) so that when his libido is active you can be more receptive to it..nows the time to be ultra sensitive to his advances..it might mean a quickie right after he grabs your butt playfully..he grabs your tit in bed and rolls over immediately? Roll over to him and grab his dick and start stroking..the more confidence in his outward displays of lust you foster, the more likely he'll allow it to be his prevailing sense of manliness.
     
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  15. ErrictedNipples

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    You been helpful .... You open my eyes up to a few things...
     
  16. Candela

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    Oh My,Erected nipples,I guess he would think I'm horny all the time ...Oh Wait!!:D:rolleyes::oops:
     
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