Sexual furstrated please help

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Lilith, Nov 2, 2010.

  1. Lilith

    Lilith New Member

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    My boyfriend came to live with my parents and I not long ago. He sleeps with me (sort of) in my room. Well, my parents don't know that I'm sexually active, and once in a very blue moon, My boyfriend and i will have a quickie. I really dislike quickies, cause i never really get off. my boyfriend on the other hand does. but tonight really pushed my buttons.

    We teased each other until everyone in the house was asleep, and then we thought a quickie (ugh) would be okay. I help him get ready, then when we do "do it", it lasts for not even a couple of mins. now tonight was bad, he lasted two and a half thrusts before cumming. then was like "sorry, but you can use your toy"

    .....

    I was so pissed off i started to cry, because its not the same. and he wouldn't even help me, even though i ALWAYS help him get off. I rarely cum when we quickie it, and he always seems okay, but i'm left hanging. yes, it would be different if we had our own place but i dont want to wait that long.

    I love him to death, but I'm angry and horny and can't get off without help. Can some one PLEASE help me, should i say something? should i bite my tongue? Masterbating gets me so far...and i like the connection we have, i cant get that with a toy. If i have to go without an orgasm one more time, i'm going to freak!
     
  2. Barbwire

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    How old are you? I need to know before I can offer any advice.
     
  3. SWGirl

    SWGirl New Member

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    Ditto. How old are you Honey? Honestly?
     
  4. pyr

    pyr New Member

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    Dear Lilith,

    first: birth control, condoms.
    second: don't end up like me. Tell him you won't accept it. And if he doesn't do anything about your complaints in the very near future, put an end to this relationship.

    You say you love him, but project yourself 15 years from now, still frustrated. How long could you live like this?

    Sex isn't everything in a relationship, but, it is important. It isn't even about the sexual frustration itself, but the question: why isn't he doing something for me? Am I unworthy of his time/efforts? And this means something. Don't end up like me. I allowed myself to become less than a carpet where he'd wipe his feet. Nobody should have to feel the same way, be in the same place I am now.

    Try dialogue, but don't take no for an answer. I'm sure there are good men out there. Perhaps yours is one of them. If not, don't take as long as I have to find it out.

    If he changes, but he needs constant reminding of your part that you exist, don't accept it.
     
  5. HardRocker

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    Do you really think your parents are naive enough to think you and a guy are sleeping in the same bedroom and NOT having sex? I expect they do know. Your sexual activity should be none of your parents business, except for the fact that they make the rules of their home. It's been a while since you turned 18, so you could ask them if they have a problem with it. Are you going to college or have some other reason to not be living on your own?

    As far as the way your guy treats you, I agree with the other posters, he doesn't seem considerate of your needs. That's number 1 in a relationship. If it isn't there and can't be worked out in a reasonable time, then it's really a deal breaker.

    <Note to concerned members: Lilith is old enough to be here.>
     
    #5 HardRocker, Nov 2, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2010
  6. Gearhead

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    solution is simple..make him warm you up first, if hes not doing his job correctly get someone who will relationships are give and take but if the sex is horrible and hes not taking care of you in bed what else is can this guy do for you?
     
  7. Lilith

    Lilith New Member

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    For all who are wondering, I'm 21. I just got out of Job core, and looking for a job, I really don't have the money to get a place of my own. Thank you all for your advice, I really really do appreciate it, and I will use it.
     
  8. HardRocker

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    Yes, I made a note of that for everybody too. No offense, we are just very careful around here. We do everything we can to stay legal and make our members feel safe, even if it gets on someone's nerves once in a while.:)

    HR
     
  9. cbrmale

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    I'm a parent of a 20 and and 18 year old, and I know my daughter is sexually active with her boyfriend. We do remember what it was like to be that age, so we know... I suggest you dispense with the attempted hiding of that which is natural, and talk it through with your boyfriend that the do know so let's take some time and do it right.

    For men, doing quickies can be a problem because you learn a bad habit that takes some time to unlearn. It's always best to take your time.
     
  10. Kermit

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    Think of it this way, if your parents can find a way to fuck regularly while you were living there so can you
     
  11. Alwayslearningsex

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    I take it he is around your age too. Is he "new" at sex?
    I never lasted long in the beginning. However he should do his part to satisfy you. If not, then neither should he get satisfaction.
    I am not a nasty eye for an eye person but how about you get yourself off in the washroom before bedtime with him a couple of times then tell him YOU don't need / want sex anymore, you are satisfied (doesn't matter if you are not FULLY but your statement to him).
    If he complain - should - he needs it tell him he has to learn to look after you, not just his nuts off. This is selfish especially telling you to use a toy.
    Loving someone is not an excuse to put up with this at all.
    Let him show he will be nice first before you reward him, once he gets going enjoy it but keep in mind he has to show you can trust him again .... playing with you only a couple of minutes just so he gets his fun is not good enough. Tell him sex is a 2 way street, or no traffic at all.
     
  12. yoklok

    yoklok New Member

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    In my case it was the opposite, i time then it started again. Because of it we had many fights. We stick together for 4 would do anything for my girl until she climax, but when it was my turn to get pleased she would be on the lazy side. She would be too tired to do anything. or always some excuse. I usually last more than her even if we are just doing penetration. I talk to her and it got better for some years and to tell you the true i regret stay with her all those year.

    Make sure you talk to him; tell him that you also have a need. If he doesn't chance we may want to end that relationship other wise you will not be happy. Like said of previous post sex is not everything I a relation, but it’s very important.

    we are about your age range too.
     
  13. NedF

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    By allowing your BF to sleep in the same bed and given the fact you are 21, I would assume they suspect you are having sex. I do not get the impression your dad is popping his head in the door every ten minutes (as I do with my 18 year old when his 16 year old GF is in his room - during the day, there is no way I would let her stay the night).

    Your BF needs to slow down and take care of your needs (quietly - being loud is a privilege of owning your own home and only when the kids are not around).

    I agree with cbrmale, horny young men are temporarily stupid and selfish. Talk to him and make sure he understands your wants and needs. You have the much better hand in the negotiations! He will do anything you ask to get what he wants and needs!
     
  14. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    What's the legal age in Canada? Here in Holland it's 16.
     
  15. NedF

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    "The age of consent in Canada was raised from 14 to 16 in May 2008.

    In June 2006, the Canadian government proposed a bill to raise the age of consent from 14 to 16, while creating a near-age exemption for sex between 14-15 year olds and partners up to 5 years older, and keeping an existing near-age clause for sex between 12-13 year olds and partners up to 2 years older."

    I am not 100% sure the near age clause as described came into effect or not although I believe some form of near age clause did.