sexual frustration

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by LS69, Apr 20, 2012.

  1. LS69

    LS69 Member

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    What do you do when your libido has hit its peak and your BF libido is low. I try to be good and patience with him. He is only 35 yrs old. I am afraid by the time he is 40 yrs. It will be nonexistent. What to do? I do love him but it is really putting a big time strain on our relationship. :ugh I feel like anything i try to do will make it worse somehow.
     
  2. routabout

    routabout New Member

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    I'm only 29 but at the moment my libido is still very high especially in comparrison to my misses. But saying that I'm sure if you put his cock in your mouth or start rubbing him he will perk up no end.

    Please do not expect him to initiate sex everytime, he may think you do not want it but if you show him you do I am 100% confident that he will jump at the chance.

    Also I'm not really talking about a romantic meal etc I'm talking about meeting him after work and doing it in the car or whilst watching TV just cuddle up next to him then start rubbing him, or middle of the night roll on top of him and ride away.

    Good luck :)
     
  3. boobjob

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    Something else to think about... I have been on both sides of this issue. Low libido is often associated with other emotional issues. It can be good or bad issues too. Even minor ones. A big project at work can shift focus away as much as stress like losing a job. Sometimes its the stress of everyday life. OP didn't say much about her relationship. Is it a long term committed relationship? Are they just fuckbuddies.

    There are a lot of zariables so the best solution is to be open minded and talk about it. Be careful not to be judgmental or resentful. The worst part about differing libidos is the way resentment builds on both sides. So remember that its not like you are going to say "let's have more sex" and the reponse will be "ok". Its more likely that the response will be "what's wrong with the sex we have now?" While he's thinking to himself "oh shit. Am I inadaquate?". Be supportive and compromising.
     
  4. RawDog

    RawDog Member

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    Life's too short. Way too short. I wasted 9 years during my first marriage waiting for my (now ex) wife to come around. She kept promising, I kept waiting.

    Fast forward to my 3rd wife (#2 wasn't too much of a success either) and having the best sex of my life! I'm 47, she's 43, and we're fucking more and more. We haven't peaked yet as far as I know.

    If this makes you (or anyone) jealous, it should. Do something for yourself to make *you* happy. It took me 16 years, but it finally happened.

    16 years is waay too long to wait for happiness.
     
  5. sirindiaink

    sirindiaink New Member

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    Have him try some endurnz. I take it when I need a little help. I dont get any side effects and it all natural herbs. Its a vitamin for his penis.
     
  6. boobjob

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    RD - I respect your opinion but I hope that OP is willing to put some work into it. True some marriages are not meant to be but ALL marriages require work. And compromise in order to last. I could have quit many times in the hopes of more sex but I know that sex is not all there is tohappiness. I know that I and my kids are happier for the effort. So I'm not "jealous" I merely understand that you have something different. I hope it continues for you this time if that is what you are looking for.
     
  7. RawDog

    RawDog Member

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    So do I, boobjob.

    No kids, no major worries. I kind of reverse engineered this relationship. She knew from the get-go I was all about sex. Everything else literally comes second.

    It makes me shallow, it makes her rather --ahem-- deep. :D
     
  8. boobjob

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    Well if you're happy, then God bless...
     
  9. RawDog

    RawDog Member

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    Yes, we are. Thanks! :D
     
  10. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    You need to work with it. Time and time again we say this here...........communication is ace. Talk about your desires, your fantasies. You must have a good idea what turns him on or you must have seen some porn stuff that you think a guy will find exciting. Build on it. Subtly, vary what you do and see if a change restores libido.

    One thing for sure, do something pretty quickly and don't let it deteriorate thinking that you can pick it up again. It may not work for you.

    What would happen if he came in and caught you watching some porn or erotic movie on the computer? Would he watch it with you? Would it stimulate him or would that be normal in any case. If it is something that you think he would pick up on, try him. But make sure that it is something that you may want to try out yourselves, so don't pick something too outrageous.
     
  11. 12barblues

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    30 years with the wrong sexual partner for me....i made a commitment and i tried to make it work as best as i could but i just couldnt. i feel as tho i wasted 30 years of my life that i cant get back , so dont make MY mistake..(it failed for many reasons, sex being only one of them)...
     
  12. RawDog

    RawDog Member

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    I don't feel so bad about my 9 now. That truly sucks, but I know the feeling. (albeit a miniaturized version). You seem to be doing a good job making up for all that time though!
     
  13. thunderseed

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    Well the frustration part is the part you can deal with yourself, it's a mind thing. The low sex drive part, usually when someone has a low sex drive, they still have a sex drive, thus you can usually *cough*force*cough* sex on them anytime you want. You can still turn them on and get the sex you need. Or get them drunk. But for the record that advice did not come from me LoL.
     
  14. TXEyes1026

    TXEyes1026 New Member

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    I have a very similar situation. My sex drive which I thought was already high just recently went higher and I literally crave an orgasms. Mine is only 28 & I myself will be 29 monday. We have always had a healthy sex live, but I think this new drive of mine is sometimes hard too really handle. I found getting my self off has helped.
     
  15. LS69

    LS69 Member

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    TXEYES1026 "I found getting my self off has helped."

    Its what i always do and that is the problem. I am doing this several times on a daily basis. I really want our sex life to be normal. Its never been normal at all. If you account for the times we had normal sex. i don't think it would take up a full hand. I know its not his fault. But i have needs too. I feel our sex life will never be normal. I am going to accept this fact and move on. If its not happened by now. As long as we have been together off and on. Its not going to happen at all.

    thanks for everyone responses

    there are three stages in a relationship if you dont take care of it..lust, rust and dust!
     
    #15 LS69, Apr 25, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2012
  16. RedandBabe

    RedandBabe New Member

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    Most guys cant resist BJs cant you start him off like that? Do you have other problems?

    29 must be the magic number my wife turned 29 last month and WOW!!!
     
    #16 RedandBabe, Apr 28, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2012
  17. LS69

    LS69 Member

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    masturbation -- it seems like a good idea at the time, but in the end you're really only screwing yourself. So why have a bf then? We don't do anything at all anymore. Its how my first bf started doing.. then just gradually stopped. I feel like we are friends just hanging out than anything else. ..just to keep him from getting bored really. I broke up with someone else and went back to him.. for us to be like this.
     
  18. OverSinged

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    Ouch, that sucks. I've naught a single way to help though. I can say that your avatar is distracting as hell though...
     
  19. lbushwalker

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    L69,
    I grieve for you as you are in a no win situation.
    Unless there is something medically wrong with your guy (and perhaps he could have his hormone levels checked) and fixed then your relationship is doomed due to uneven libido.
    It is best to end it and move on rather than both of you suffering and eventually resenting one another :(
     
  20. LS69

    LS69 Member

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    Sorry i wasted everyone's reading time. I'm sorry to say its not a low libido problem. I discovered something by accident today on my BF's ipad. Now i know why he clears his history and wants me to ask him to use his stuff. Anyways, I am sorry for wasting your time. hugs

    To my friends on here thanks for the support..I will be fine...no worries! It is what it is!
     
    #20 LS69, Jun 9, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2012