Sexual fails

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by HotForHoney, Mar 15, 2016.

  1. HotForHoney

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    Have you ever tried to be sexy and have it backfire?
    Have an issue with a toy?
    More than just being walked in on but those always make good stories too.

    Please share :)
     
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  2. IMNaughty

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    I went out with this very pleasant woman, very pretty, lots of fun.

    The first time we went out, we had a wonderful light meal and it quickly became very obvious that we were going to head back to my hotel room and enjoy ourselves from there. As we were making out, we had moved onto the bed and after a bit of playing around, I had slid my way between her legs, a little sexy talking between us, her nipples in my mouth, my cock hard, sliding in between her legs, I put my left knee down on the bed and it went right over the edge and both of us ended up on the floor, her on top of me, laughing our naked asses off.
     
  3. Jake_or

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    I once told a partner "You talked enough, your pussey doesn't need to talk too!" While I was fucking her doggy in a way that made air come out of her vagina...
     
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  4. 10_3XL

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    Fact: Girls don't find it as amusing as I do when I drive my Batmobile model across them and then insist it needs to park in the Batcave. Also, I may or may not have at some point put on a glow-in-the-dark condom and made lightsaber noises. :rolleyes::p
     
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  5. backcheck64

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    Are you related to Kevin Smith?
     
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  6. Sagittarius84

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    Me and gf were deep into foreplay once, about to get down. One of our shared qualities is a love of humor, especially sarcasm(my son's birthing room was basically a comedy club until his head popped out), so it's common for us to engage in some light ribbing on each other before during and after sex. She then made a couple of comments of how she "saved me" from my ex, and if it wasn't for her I'd still be with my ex..Now, based on her explanation afterwards i realize now it was a joke, at the time, not so much. I've long had this issue with her misguided confidence in her romantic prowess, constantly reminding her my faithfulness was as fervent then as it is now, and the ONLY reason we started cheating together was by that time i was looking to leave my gf anyways. Also that if she had met me a yr earlier, we most likely wouldn't have gotten together.. So for her to imply my decison making process was unable to withstand her advances, i found quite insulting....I think i waited about 30-45 seconds to for her to explain how she was kidding, but she instead chose to focus on the fact that my erection subsided very quickly..She asked me about it, and by this point i was further insulted she was unable to associate what she said with my reaction (a recurring issue)...so I quoted J. Cole and told her to "save someone else, i wasn't trying to be saved" rolled over and went to sleep...with a bit of personal satisfaction as her words completely killed my sexual urges, whilst the previous foreplay left her on the edge. I never previously knew the selfish sense of satisfaction of hearing someone semi angrily masturbate themselves because they were cut off midstream. I recommend any young man do it at least once...lol
     
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  7. Hypersexual11

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    While being DPed, my wife will orgasm much harder than usual, making it impossible for us to stay in her. I rarely come while doing this because it takes me longer than it takes her. When she comes, it's not something she can 'ride out'. It's stop action for a minute or so. Anyway, awhile back we were fucking her, and she was hanging in there a lot longer than usual. I remember thinking, wow, I might actually get to come while DPing my wife. Well, when I came, it set her off like a rocket. She spasmed and spun around and kicked me square in the balls, while my dick was spewing come. That was a totally new sensation. One I hope to never repeat.
     
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  8. manvspencil

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    Broken wind, just once, during sex. Was timed perfectly with a particularly strong thrust.

    Tried to blame it on her once we'd finished laughing, but she wasn't having it.
     
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  9. Alwayslearningsex

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    One funny moment was after getting a fair amount of oral which made me want to finish so bad.
    After a (long) while she asked me to use her boobs, very nice in all aspects.
    I was happy to do so and she liked watching the head slide in and out.
    I edged a few times and it built up a strong orgasm, and when the final one came the ejaculation was pretty strong too.
    She wanted to see it shoot out and she looked down at the same moment the first squirt shot out, strong,
    unfortunately lined up to shoot right in her eye.
    Gracious, she asked me to keep going until I was done and while it stung her eye, she was also amused, laughing
    at how it shot hard and the humour of the situation.
     
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  10. 10_3XL

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    I wish. I could be in his movies then. Nah, it's just that both Smith and I are big fat nerd boys.
     
  11. CLE32793

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    I have feel off the bed twice. Oddly it was off opposite sides. What can I say, we really get into it. :)
     
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  12. 10_3XL

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    Some would say "falling on the floor" - I say it's "optimizing the usage of space available." :p
     
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