Sexual Double Standards

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Mittimer, Sep 15, 2010.

  1. Mittimer

    Gold Member

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    CowboyLover made a very interesting point in another thread in regards to double standards that we have here on SexualForums.

    She's right.

    Another fellow member on our lovely forum came in, as a plus sized lady and asked for help on positions. Instead of people giving her their input on what positions they think would be best for a lady that had a little extra meat on her bones, they told her to lose weight.

    BUT

    When a male member came in asking how to make his dick bigger, everyone gave him advice, even though he specifically said it was due to his weight that he was having this trouble.

    I myself gave input on both of those conversations. I told the lady what positions I liked best because I too am a plus sized girl. At a size 18 and weighing far above average, but I carry it well. (Nobody believes me when I say I'm an 18) I know the positions I can and can't get into, I know what Ian (being also a heavy set guy) can or can't get into. He's got an average sized member and I'm more then happy with that.


    What I too, much like CL, don't understand is how we can be so quick to judge a woman when she comes in with questions like these BUT on the other end of the spectrum, when a man comes in for advice, no matter how frustrated we are with them coming in flashing their cocks at us, everyone STILL without fail, gives them advice.


    Why is that? Why do you do it? What makes it right to tell a woman to lose weight but a man with an admitted and obvious weight issue, you don't even breathe a word of it?
     
  2. pool_shark

    pool_shark Active Member

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    Re: Genital size and double standards..

    Not guilty. I didn't see either thread.
     
  3. Barbwire

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    Re: Genital size and double standards..

    Thanks for starting a thread Mitt. I'm glad someone is on the same level as I am and understood I wasn't trying to trash a new member in their very first thread.

    One thing though, titling this thread "genital size and double standards" ay narrow what input it will have by members that can relate. I'm thinking that "sexual double standards" might encourage a broader degree of member participation.

    Just a thought. :)
     
    #3 Barbwire, Sep 15, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2010
  4. Mittimer

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    Done and done. :)
     
  5. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    Honestly, "try losing a few pounds to increase your penis size and positively impact your overall health" was my first thought upon reading the gentleman's post. Then again, I'm you're garden variety health nut. I'm always harping to my class about the incredible benefits of overall health in your life. So I'm a pretty neutral source, as I give a pretty generic response to anyone that asks me before assessing their specific requirements.

    **PS- just for trivia; for every 40 pounds you lose, you gain practical access to a full half inch of penis size. (on average).
     
  6. Mittimer

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    You also didn't tell the female to lose weight though, you gave her the option of a vibrating cock ring. So you don't quite fit into the mold of the double standards.
     
  7. Dragon_Fire

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    I feel those that advised the lady to lose weight actually didn't read her post correctly. She mentioned her husband's penis size and certain members jumped on her for that, even though she never expressly said it was an issue in itself. I think their defensiveness was why they attacked her for her weight.
     
  8. Mittimer

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    That still isn't an excuse for saying that. She merely asked for advice on positions for being plus sized, not a personal fitness pointer.
     
  9. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

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    Well, I think I fall among the guilty for telling her to lose weight. My intent was not to be a double standard but to make a suggestion that would help her and her partner. If they are having issues in the sex dept and wieght is an issue, then it makes sense to lose weight. But I also think this advise applies to men equally. No bad intent intended. We are here to offer our opinions as well as ask for them.
     
  10. Dragon_Fire

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    The thing is, most overweight people, especially women know their life would improve if they lost weight, we don't really need our noses rubbed in it everyday of our lives. Permanent weight loss takes a long time and a lot of effort. The lady concerned deserves the best sex she can get in the meantime.
     
  11. igor

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  12. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

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    I agree Dragon, but was not rubbing her nose in it. I also offered positions. Sometimes a gentle nudge can help some people.
     
  13. Mittimer

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    I totally agree that sometimes a gentle nudge in the right direction can put someone on the proper path, but what I don't understand is how a lot of people just jumped to that but no mention of it in the men's thread who even said it was a weight issue.

    It just shocked the hell out of me.

    This isn't a matter of who's right or wrong, who's guilty or innocent. I'm not jumping on anyone or pointing fingers. I just don't understand how or why some of us choose to give a certain type of input to one sex, but not give the other sex the same regard.

    I honestly don't think anyone really has an answer for this. We're all here to give our opinions on things and others come to get those opinions, sometimes we like it, sometimes we don't, but that's just the luck of the draw.
     
  14. pmsanderson

    pmsanderson New Member

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    Well, heres my 2 cents. Seems to me that heavier people know who they are and should be probably trying to do something about it, not saying it would or would not solve a sexual problem. Secondly, it seems that people dont mind heavier guys, idk why, i dont find myself that attractive to be honest. Seems like heavier women are just viewed as gross, which is just stupid, fat really isnt that great no matter who it is on. please dont take any of this the wrong way, i have a hard time explaining myself sometimes. have a good one!

    Pete

    ps- maybe its also because she didnt say she had a weight issue, and people got upset at the fact that it seemed like she was blaming her partner.
     
    #14 pmsanderson, Sep 17, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2010
  15. Dragon_Fire

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    She admitted she is plus-sized. She mentioned he is averaged-sized but not small. How is she blaming anyone? The lady described herself and her husband then asked for advice on positions. That was all.
     
  16. young_gun_91

    young_gun_91 New Member

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    I read the thread earlier. I have to admit, I felt a bit uneasy reading the "you should try to lose some weight" posts. That being said, I don't think those people had bad intentions or anything against heavier people. They just said it might make the going in the bedroom easier if she lost weight.

    I guess they didn't answer her question correctly. She knows there is a size difference between her and her husband. She wants their sex to be better in spite of that, not to be told to slim down to his size...but what do I know lol.
     
  17. Reflect169

    Reflect169 New Member

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    I havent actually read either posts, but to be honest, when i was reading mittimers first post on this thread i was shicked when i heard that someone had actually suggested loosing weight, unless she came in saying, im a size 18 and i cant seem to fit into a size 8 pair of jeans, i see in no way how that is a valid suggestion!!!???!!!
    if she asked for some positions, thats what she would like to hear.

    if i asked as a very thin size us 2 for position size, as ive found of the deeper penetration positions to be painful DUE TO my small size, would anyone suggest i put on weight?
    the question posed above is meant to be answered, would anyone ACTUALLY suggest such a thing to that question?
     
  18. young_gun_91

    young_gun_91 New Member

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    ^Excellent question. Looking at it that way, it makes it seem very rude. And because everyone has a different metabolism and all, not everyone can just run out and lose a lot of weight. Plus, it's normal for a lot of women to have more body fat than men.
     
  19. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

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    Reflect169, if it would improve your sex life and you were unhappy with it and putting weight on would help, then yes, I would recommend it.
     
  20. Reflect169

    Reflect169 New Member

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    would you recommend it to that exact question, though lucky?

    im a petit size US 2, and find the positions that give deep penetration are painful, my boyfriend is neither small nor too large....are there any positions that could be recommended?