Sexless relationship driving me nuts.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by enz660, Feb 15, 2009.

  1. enz660

    enz660 New Member

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    I love this girl to death we get along perfectly have lots of fun together. When we first met, there was huge sexual desire, she wanted it and always talked about it, then I had some anxiety and trouble staying erect and it really got to her emotionally, after that left and I dont have that problem anymore, she has the issue that my sex hurts her, she is always well lubricated but the problem is her vagina is not used to sex since it happens maybe once or twice a month, it hurts her and I have to stop, sex lasts for about 3 min, without anyone getting to orgasm. We broke up and got back together since then she has been on Lexapro medication, Every time I try and talk to her about sex she gets angry at me and says its all I talk about. I dont even want to initiate sex anymore because I always get the "im tired" or some excuse, so I tell her she needs to show me. Its been almost six months that we have been together and we have had sex a total of three times, without orgasm, each time lasting a few min, its getting very frustrating. I love her so much and want to respect her but I dont know what to do, it would be stupid of me to marry someone being frustrated but we are talking about it.
     
  2. Barbwire

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    YES! It would be stupid, really stupid, so why even think about it until you get things straightened out?

    She is on meds for depression and/or anixiety, but what has been done about the issue of painful intercourse?

     
  3. enz660

    enz660 New Member

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    no it has not been solved but I have been talking with her about sex she keeps saying she needs to change her life and think different and the lexapro is helping her do that she wants to be emotionally stable before being sexual she says, I don't understand her decision but I will respect it. I just hope there is not some other agenda being played out that shes not telling me about, like... testing me or something.
     
  4. Northside

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    I don't think I could live that way. When my ex told me she was gonna cut me off if I didn't quit hangin' out with my buddies, I told her, "How you gonna do that? You don't even know where I'm gettin' it." I didn't believe her though, she couldn't even hold out as long as I can, and that ain't long.
     
  5. outofmymind

    outofmymind Member

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    I believe Lexapro is an SSRI med, which means she can't orgasm. If she can't orgasm then you can forget sex. I really don't think there's anything you can do about it other then getting her off the medication. I would talk to her doctor about that.

    As far as the pain issue. I've had that problem too, the girl will tell me it's because my cock is too big. I think what happens is the penis goes in too far and touches her cervix, which is painful for her. So just don't go in as far, you can let her get on top too, that will give her more control so she can pull out more if it hurts.
     
  6. spicy_latina

    spicy_latina New Member

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    3 times in 6 months that's really bad... I wouldn't stand it
     
  7. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Ask her if she prefers to switch to being friends. Maybe that's where the winds blowing!
     
  8. phil anderer

    phil anderer New Member

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    I wish:(
     
  9. loveit247

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    I am on an SSRI med and I had an orgasm on Saturday morning, a rather good one too. That is a generalisation. Yes, they can make it difficult, but you can learn to control it. Once you reteach yourself to cum it is just as normal. Infact, my orgasms have become stronger.

    OP. I think it is more then the meds at work here, if she won't talk, you are pretty much screwed!