sex with someone new if it is bad 3 strikes you're out?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Someguy13, Feb 24, 2013.

  1. Someguy13

    Someguy13 New Member

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    I know that a lot of guys, when they first start having sexual relations with a new girl, are really worried about trying to satisfy her and it is precisely that sort of anxiety that can lead to under performance in the bedroom.

    Let’s define the terms for the sake of this argument: you’ve gone on a few dates, you definitely like the person, you’re attracted to him or her, you’re ready to have sex, and then it’s…awful. Not “meh,” sex, not “it was fine for me” sex, but like, so bad that you’re already mentally composing the text you’ll send to your best friend the second this is over. So bad it’s just embarrassing for the both of you. Do you try again?

    Well me being 29 and only having had one sexual partner I am worried about this. My only sexual experience was not that great for me the girl just kinda do nothing. Sure I was happy not to be a virgin anymore that help out a ton.

    OK without going into to much detail she was a female friend from a few years back and we ran into each other and estranged numbers. Long story short we hung out ,I stupidly told her I was a virgin , she said i do not care I have been wanting to sleep with you for years ,had sex it was great .

    The bad I had to do every thing and she just laid there . There was no passion or foreplay at all and no lights on and would not try anything other then missionary.

    On a good note she said she I was the only one ever to give her and orgasm her last few bf could not. I know she did because I read up on that and it seems like she did . The bad part I did not climax at all even after a good 30-45 min of me putting in work for lack of better words.

    That went on for 6 months she called it off in a text and she moved on to a new bf with in a week.

    Now that I am 29 and all that happen a few years ago so it all behind me. I just worry that seeing I am working full time and college full time gives me no time to date. I kinda gave up to focus on college and getting a good job.

    I however worry once I get school done and start dating a girl what do guys like me do when having sex with a new girl for the first time?

    lest say it been a few dates and she wants invites me in and things get hot ? just go with the flow and be as confident as I can. Then what if the sex is bad on my part hope she still wants to date me?

    Should I stop making out with her and take her hand and look into her eyes and say hey I do not know how to say this but I am not very experienced when it comes to dating and sex. then see how she responds to that?

    Do I say anything afterwards so if the sex is bad she might understand? One other option is say noting and if she ends it so be it.

    I just know it would total relax me if she know I was not all to experienced in bed even thought it does not sound very confident for a man to admit to it.

    One last thing it going to be 1-2 years before i can date so it going to be a while.

    Also should I just try to hook up in one night stands or FWB in the mean time to get better in bed?
     
  2. acemike

    acemike Member

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    wow...you lasted 35-40 minutes your first time? I blew just looking at where I going to put it...
     
  3. Someguy13

    Someguy13 New Member

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    yea , I did not climax though she did not want to get on top or any thing . I just kinda got tired. I think it had a lot to do with the fact I did not like her at all .
     
  4. Texas_Red

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    Sounds like you already know what's up. Also sounds like you've got the stamina and you don't pop your cork too quick, so you're already doing quite good there. You just need more experience, and you need to make it clear to your partners that they need to be able to tell you what they like, etc. You aren't a mind reader, and all the stamina in the world doesn't magically push the right buttons.
     
  5. Cappy_Dick

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    Well, if she invites you in after the first or second date, you'll just have to be confident and go with the flow. Most women want more out of sex than to just lie there and be fucked, so chances are there will be foreplay and diversity. You obviously have decent stamina.

    If you are dating a girl that still uses one of the archaic myths that they have to have x number of dates with you, or have been seeing you for x number of weeks before having sex with you, you will be able to sense when she is starting to feel close enough to you to start having sex, you should talk to her openly about it. Birth Control and/or Safety are always good points to get the conversation started. You can go from there to find out what she likes and doesn't like. You have to be confident here. There's no need to act like a virgin just because you don't have much experience.

    In the meantime, you might want to study up on how to please a woman. Especially the art of preforming oral sex. I have only known one woman in my life who didn't love having their pussy licked and that was because her upbringing instilled in her brain that anything but straight fucking was "dirty sex". I'd encourage you to learn as many techniques as possible. Every woman is different, so you'll have to experiment and communicate.

    One of the biggest mistakes people make, is they never talk during sex. You need to tell her when she's making you feel good, and suggest what you want next. This usually will encourage her to do the same. Sometimes women need coaxing. When going down on her, tell her how good she tastes. Ask her how she likes you to do it. Have plenty of enthusiasm while doing it. You want to make her cum while licking her, if possible. The sad truth is a majority of men have no clue what they are doing down there. I followed my own advice here when young. Many women have told me that most men don't know what they are doing, but that I sure do.

    Arm yourself with knowledge and communicate. Initiate things with your next sexual partner with the confidence that you will please her. I doubt you'll have any trouble cumming with a woman who is being pleased and senses your pleasure. Seeing and feeling how much you are rocking her world will get you off every time.

    xx