Sex with friends

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Whiskey, Oct 15, 2009.

?

What should I do

  1. try and make it work again

    12.5%
  2. give up and find someone else

    50.0%
  3. give it all up

    6.3%
  4. sex with friends?!?! you nuts

    31.3%
  1. Whiskey

    Whiskey New Member

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    Well if you all don't mind I need to open a can of piss and moan I have had in my back pocket for awhile. My wife and I have 2 friends who are married and have a good relationship. Well we had talked about having an orgy before on several occasions. We all have known one another for a long time. The wife and the other married couple went to school together and he and i worked together as teenagers. Well our wives had messed around before and then each wife would come back to their husband. Well we decided to switch it up, all agreed all were on the same page was great. gotta admit it was fucking awesome...no pun intended :dgrin did everything penetration of each others wife, and no eye contact among guys :lol but it was great we all had fun and for weeks after nothing changed. We were still the same friends and chatted about doing it again. Next thing I know my friends wife said no more and gave me the excuse that she was getting weird around me. So being a good friend I said okay I understand, but was bummed. I find out later that she was having some issues with my wife touching her husband. So I would really like to have this go on some more. but I guess I need to know, would you guys try to salvage it or move on? If it helps at all I am a smooth talker and know how to work people. But I really dont want to do that to my friends. at least not in the way that I do to the average person. I I thought we could find another setup like that I dont know if I would bother. but give me some feedback guys.
    Thanks, Matt
     
  2. Barbwire

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    No, it doesn't help, Matt, in fact it kind of makes you look like a bit of a con artist. Working people to get what you want doesn't make you smooth, it makes you underhanded and sleazy. IMHO

    Go with your gut and don't try to pull that crap with your friends. Give it up. If one person isn't into it, then it's just wrong for the others to try to get that person to engage in it.



     
  3. Whiskey

    Whiskey New Member

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    Yeah that was kind of the conclusion that I am coming to. And again, I don't use those tactics on my friends, period. and as far as the con artist thing, you may be thinking a little too diabolical with it. Its more of that I simply know how to talk to people. reading over that sentence that you quoted does make me sound sleazy, an that's not who I am.
     
  4. Barbwire

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    Yeahbut, how do we know you aren't trying to con us by saying that? :lol

    Really man, it's cool. I know what it's like to say things that sound much worse than they really are.

    Lord, do I know! :phat
     
  5. Whiskey

    Whiskey New Member

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    Yeah +1 to that.
     
  6. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I feel you have encountered an issue that is common when you use friends and that is the necessary communication is not there. Let me try to explain as friends you have a style of communication and based on your history together you can understand each others needs. Then when you expand your friendship by introducing the idea of a foursome there is an underlying assumption that there is not a need to talk about the particulars of the threesome. Since you do not talk about the particulars of the threesome boundaries get crossed, feelings get hurt, and the friendship over time becomes strained.

    Reading your posting it reads as though there are some issues that talking about it may not help. The three I am left to question if they exist includes is there feelings / attraction between your wife and your friend. Second question is the other wife having problems with jealousy. Third is there an underlying relationship issue between the two of them. If I were to offer advice on this situation and provided your wife is agreeable to it I would recommned finding another couple. From my experience I would have to say this is not a good situation and no amount of talking will change it. It is best to work at maintaining this friendship and finding another couple.
     
  7. Whiskey

    Whiskey New Member

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    We talked about it A LOT before any thing happened. In the end the other wife just got jealous for some reason. You guys are reassuring me that moving on as far as the sex part is the way to go.
     
  8. HardRocker

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  9. Barbwire

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  10. johnnyangel694u

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    I wouldn't do anything. Just let the friendship stay as it was before. Don't hold any animosity towards her. She is jealous and there is nothing worse that anyone that is jealous. Make sure that she feels comfortable around the two of you. Maybe sometime the situation will present itself again. It will have to be up to her to decide if it happens again.
     
  11. Whiskey

    Whiskey New Member

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    Yeah the friendship is back to normal, she is hard to read im finding out.
     
  12. polarbear79

    polarbear79 New Member

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    sounds like the arrangement is complicating the friendship already... i'd stop if i were you, if i want to salvage the friendship. my two cents :)
     
  13. HardRocker

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    I think it's best not to bring it up ever again, if it does come back up, evade the situation as much as possible. There are plenty of ways to have sex that don't complicate you and any of your friends' lives.
     
  14. Whiskey

    Whiskey New Member

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    Yeap. Just a lesson learned I guess.