Sex vs Emotional Attraction

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by eastcupcake516, Feb 3, 2007.

  1. eastcupcake516

    eastcupcake516 New Member

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    Basically I'm just looking to see what peoples' opinions are concerning this issue: If you had to base your relationship with your SO (the whole relationship being 100%) soley on the above two factors (sex vs emotional attraction) what percent of importance in the relationship would they hold?

    I would say, emotional attraction 60% and sex 40%. Finding that special somebody that you enjoy being with is a great feeling and sex, even though very important, can always be worked on.

    Looking foward to seeing what the rest of you guys think???
     
  2. stopher58

    stopher58 New Member

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    Thats a tough one to really answer but I think that I'd say just about the same thing as you 60/40. That is my quick opinion.
     
  3. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I think i would take compatibility as my top choice.:sf
     
  4. SexyScorp

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    Emotional connection first then sexual one

    I have met guys who are very sexual, but they are emotionally challenged....they think with their dicks only...that for me is a turn off.

    I would say emotional 60% and sexual 40%

    Even if the sex burns out in a relationship, but you can still connect emotionally with the other,,,,there would be a great bond there...:)

    Great question east!
     
  5. Misa

    Misa New Member

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    Yes, emotional/mental connection first. Should be some sort of physical attraction and a lot more of a personality attraction. Sexual connection shouldn't be really important until later in the relationship. But, then again I just don't find sex THAT important me. :p I won't have sex.

    Yeah going with the poster above about the last part.
     
  6. GentleManSteve

    GentleManSteve New Member

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    Emotional all the way. I do not base a relationship on sex. I have never done it and I will never do it. I have been emotionally in love with people that I didn't even think was sexually attractive to me. I am not saying they was not beautiful it was just my attraction to them was emotion and not a sexual attraction. Although they was beautiful I did not look at them as being sexy looking because my attraction to them was beyond sexual attraction.
     
  7. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Yep, me too! I would just have to have some sort of emotional attraction and compatibility with a woman before I would go to bed with her. With me it would be more like 95% emotional connection, 5% sexual attraction.
     
  8. Dreama

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    Yeah, to me it's 95/5, as an emotional connection is the most important thing in a relationship to me. Sex, is always something that is the icing on the cake. Nobody just eats a whole bowl of icing, or one might get sick.
     
  9. cbrmale

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    I would have (and I did) went with the 95/5 ratio of emotional attraction to sex, but in retrospect there is more to a relationship than sex, when sex is not working then it becomes a BIG issue. Indeed, if sex is pretty bad, it is a relationship-breaker in its own right.

    I tried to deal with the situation through communication, counselling and I sought gratification through extra-marital sex. All of this is not good. We reached a point of sexual compatibility, and it is all good, and I am glad that the rest of our relationship was strong. But it was hard on me to be frustrated and then moving to other relationships, and hard on her to come to terms with what my frustration was doing. The compatibilty came about through jealousy, she knew there were other women...

    So it is easy to say 95/5 when the sex is good, or maybe the years haven't passed to the point where the average to poor sex is starting to drag you down. In reality, the ratio is probably something closer to 70/30, and I say this with experience.
     
  10. Pluto

    Pluto New Member

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    Second that.

    I think sex is just the icing on the cake.
     
  11. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Mrs E and I had a full on 100% sexual relationship when we first got it together, we didn't really like each other very much. That changed and turned into a 100% emotional relationship in a few short years.
    How we met is a long story, I was married at the time and my ex thought we were having an affair when we were'nt!

    I've cut a long story short.

    The sex is still great though!
     
  12. pussycat69

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    I think 60/40.I feel emotional is more important than the sex part--but I do believe that sexual compatibility is a VERY big deal as well.Sex isn't important always in a relationship,but if you are going to be having it,you both HAVE to be on the same page.