Sex-Related Injury (Funny or Not)

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by 10_3XL, Dec 4, 2014.

  1. 10_3XL

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    Generally personal injury isn't much of a joking matter (especially when it comes to a sexual situation resulting in one). Unless you're America's Funniest Home Videos or YouTube...
    However, as some famous dude who's now dead once said, "Comedy is simply Tragedy occurring to somebody else."
    So why don't we share our stories of woe here - the funny, the not-so-funny, and the outright cringe-worthy...

    I'll start:
    Once upon a time...
    D and I were fooling around in the kitchen/dining area. One thing led to another and I ended up laying back on the table while she took a ride. ;)
    In the same second as my climax there was a loud CRACK! and the table gave out beneath us.
    She walked away from it all with a pair of slightly bruised knees. I lay on my back for the next 15 minutes in a mix of "Ouch" and "What the fuck just happened?!" Oh, yeah, and also a cracked rib, a sense of embarrassment that I was heavy enough to cause a table to collapse, and down the cost of a replacement table. (D weighs, like, nothing so I don't think she was in any way accountable for the table's demise.)
    Note: It was soooo worth it! :D
     
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  2. Doitagain

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    During some rough drunken sex on the floor some years ago we had Been slowly sliding on the carpet across the room as we got near climax . We were sweaty , very drunk , and just really into the moment. After we came I collapsed next to her as we caught our breath. Pretty much at the same time she says " my back hurts and I said " my knees hurt " I get up an turn on the light which was too bright and with a squinting look I notice my knees are bleeding along with an elbow and a bit on my palm. She turns over and her back is bleeding and her ass is very red...we had nasty rug burn and the sweat was helping it burn. I quickly turn to go towards the bathroom still looking back as we half laughed and whined about the pain when I walked into the door jam....pride was hurt more than anything
     
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  3. Lou_x

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    its funny when it happens to others and not when it happens to you, however please allow me a ..... LOL ;)
     
  4. lbushwalker

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    Yep similar to Doitagain, synthetic carpet burns to knees and elbow.
    Worse tho' jack hammering a pussy then slipped out and missed going back in.
    Bent my poor dick in the middle, lost my erection due to pain and pissed blood with burning for a few days after. Ongoing urethral issues for months after and finally had an endoscope exam to determine the damage. All resolved now but lesson learned; go easier with enthusiasm ;)
     
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  5. HotForHoney

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    That hurt me and I don't have a dick!
     
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  6. Cappy_Dick

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    Well, I've never been one to find humor in someone getting hurt, or myself. However, some things can be funny in hindsight. If someone can laugh at themselves, I can laugh with them. I guess I've been lucky though. The worst thing I can remember is during a vigorous session, the bed frame broke and I smacked my head on the headboard. Nothing serious.

    xx
     
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  7. lbushwalker

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    Most things can be looked back on with humour once the pain following the passion has dissipated ;)
     
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  8. sagswing

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    Agree! Worst I can remember is gf and I at the time discovering the evil of menthol cream and pubic areas . . . :eek:
     
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  9. blue_eyes18

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    There's only two sex related injuries that come to mind and oddly enough both involve getting a blowjob. The first one, the woman decided to go and suck on my balls a little bit (which is fine if done right) but she got a little too vigorous and ended up sucking too hard and scraping a little with her teeth. Hurt like a motherfucker, instantly lost my hardon, and told her to leave my apartment. Not one I found funny though.

    This next one, I find funny, though whether or not it can be considered a "sex related injury" is up to debate. Again, I'm in my apartment getting a blowjob from some random woman I picked up at a bar conveniently located right in front of the complex. She definitely knew what she was doing and I was enjoying it when I get this all too familiar feeling in my gut....I have to break wind. I tried my best to keep it in, but mother nature conspired against me and I unfortunately let it go...while she was going down on me. Understandably disgusted, she called me an asshole while slapping me pretty hard across the face and leaving. When my roommate saw the still visible hand print on my cheek the next morning and inquired, I told him the story, made him laugh so hard, he just about spewed his coffee everywhere.
     
  10. ginger

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    imagesYD0Z37A4.jpg

    lucky you didn't cause a puncher :eek:
     
  11. Cappy_Dick

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    Nope, but I've heard you've had that problem before :rolleyes:
    gingers blow up.jpg
    xx
     
  12. SemenShooter

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    One time at a girlfriends place we started doing it on her couch, which was one of those damn hid a bed ones. My kness slipped down between the couch cushions and raked right across part of the folded bed frame. No cuts but hurt like hell and the pain shot up both legs instantly ruining my mood and erection.

    Second was a funny wardrobe malfunction of sorts and not all that too serious. I was dating a lady who was into leather and she got me these leather chaps she wanted me to wear during sex. It was my first time wearing a pair, and well I had no idea how to adjust the belt properly around the waist. So I'm giving it to her hard and fast standing behind her with her doggy style on the edge of bed. At that time the chaps decide to slide down about an inch or so putting the belt in the "perfect" spot to make it feel like I got punched in the lower abdomen. So I stopped and undid the belt and went back to work.
     
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  13. HotForHoney

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    I got kneed in the boob while giving a blow job.
     
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  14. whybother

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    Before, during or after he came?
     
  15. lbushwalker

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    A knee buckling experience ;)
     
  16. HotForHoney

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    During - I was trying to stay on, he was trying to get away from me.
    Lol
     
  17. MrJones

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    That must have been a lot of squirming. Something must have been going really right or really wrong. :):p:D
     
  18. HotForHoney

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    I was thinking he had epilepsy.

    I say right, he prob says wrong
     
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  19. IMNaughty

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    I was on my back and this woman was giving me the best blow job, then all of a sudden she decided to rest her elbow in my stomach and really dug the elbow deep into me, hurt like hell, went limp in her mouth in a second.
     
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  20. LatteGyrl

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    I have had 2 incidents really.

    The first was my first time using handcuffs and the guy I was with was an actual cop so we used his duty cuffs to cuff my arms behind my back during sex. The next day my wrist hurt really badly and were severely bruised.

    The other time was on Valentine's Day the guy I was with and me started having sex so I got on my hands and knees on his carpeted floor and he came up behind me. The sex was great but afterwards we had rubbed both of my knees raw as well as his.
     
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