sex questions

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by kimille123, Jun 22, 2008.

  1. kimille123

    kimille123 New Member

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    rough sex: how rough is too rough, and why does he like it so much? is it wrong for me to allow/encourage this?

    mastrabation: i haven't yet been able to get myself off is this something i have to learn on my own or is there something basic i don't understand?

    how do you make sex last really long? is this the guys problem and not mine?

    and sometimes when i'm having sex i feel like some muscle inside of me is clenching up and making it really hard for a guy to get in, what does that mean?
     
  2. Dreama

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    1. Rough sex isn't wrong, and only you can define how rough is too rough. You need to have clear lines of communication open with your partner so you can come to an agreement about what kinds of things should take place during your sexual encounters.
    2. Masturbation is something you have to master for yourself. Look online for some great techniques, or perhaps get a vibe...Ultimately, though you have to find the strokes that are right for you. Know your body, explore, and keep on practicing. Nobody else will be able to get you off until you understand what you like...Nobody knows your body better than you, so start practicing.
    3. Making sex last comes from both ends. Perhaps you could suggest switching positions, kegal exercises for you and him, or stopping sex for a few moments when he's about to cum, and starting again. Again, search on here, or google it, and you're sure to find some good stuff on this.
    4. Your vagina is clenching because you are not relaxed. Are you ready for sex? If so, you need to get more relaxed. Extended foreplay is a MUST, as is lots of lubrication. Use a little astroglide or KY if you need to. Perhaps knowing your partner better could help with relaxing. Anyway, I hope you have good luck in your future sexual endeavors.
     
  3. HardRocker

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    Your boyfriend may only know what he's seen in porn videos. No fault of his, but that's not how it's done, at least until you both know your bodies. Those actors are not mutually caring for each other's pleasure, nor are they making love (my preferred term for the acts of sex), they are just franticaly banging away at each other.
    First time sex should be slow gentle exploration, asking each other what feels good and what doesn't. Kissing all over, caressing tasting, and if you want him to enter you, be sure you are wet enough, either from your own fluid, and maybe some additional lube. I personally hate KY because it dries up and gets sticky. I prefer baby oil and you can help guide him as he rubs your lips and clitoris and then, slowly, a finger or two to lubricate inside of your vagina. Then he can enter slowly, paying attention to your reaction.

    And try not to be drunk, that may lower both of your inhibitions, but it de-sensitizes the feeling in both of your genitals and will inhibit meaningful exploration. And it can make you clumsy. Learning sex can be clumsy enough without alcohol making it worse. If you are a smoker, a light buzz may be nice.

    It's trial and error, but if done lovingly, a mutually wonderful experience.

    I know. I did it badly for a long time before I realized what a sensual experience really was. Good luck. Others will probably give you some better advice, but at least I told you what I know.

    Would you be willing to let him read this post? It may help him realize what the two of you are getting into in a realistic sense, and help you let him know your feelings. You also might find out if he really does care to learn.

    Please don't continue with a partner who doesn't desire to learn to share the pleasures of sex. It's an important part of a healthy adult life.

    Good luck, and let us know how we at :sf can help.
     
  4. evilkid69

    evilkid69 New Member

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    yea..sex has nothing to do with porn..its all about a little experience and just simply feeling each other out and understanding body language, to realize when one anothers comfortable/relaxed or not
     
  5. HardRocker

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    Not to mention feeling each other UP.:lol
     
  6. evilkid69

    evilkid69 New Member

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    lollll..i should of said that!
     
  7. unalteredone

    unalteredone New Member

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    If you like rough sex, then it isnt wrong. If you dont...well, then you shouldnt allow it to continue. His fascination for rough sex probably comes from what he's seen in porn.

    Learning to get yourself off takes time for some people...it requires a lot of relaxation, time, and practice if you want to go the manual route. Some women dont really have much success just using their fingers so the turn to sex toys and vibrators that really jumptart the process. Maybe try a simple bullet vibrator?

    Sex lasting a long time...is fairly overrated. It sucks if he cums in like 1 min and then it's over, but longer doesnt necessarily mean better. If he can please you and himself to his and our satifaction...that's long enough. In general though, i would consider that more of the guy's problem, since guys are typically only good for one ejaculatory orgasm at a time before they need a considerable break.