Sex party question

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by psycho123, Mar 20, 2007.

  1. psycho123

    psycho123 New Member

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    I'm involved in a serious relationship (several years and counting now). My girlfriend, however, is the extremely jealous type. If I even semi-accidentally-glance in the direction of another girl at say a restaurant, the rest of the evening is ruined as she gets pissed off and tells me not to look at other girls. Also, we're sexually active, and only with each other.

    But I've always had an insanely strong fantasy to go to a gangbang or have sex with multiple people at once. It's to the point now where, because I can't satisfy that fantasy, I find myself enjoying masturbating to videos of such scenarios more than having actual sex with my girlfriend. It's nothing against her, I love her very much, I'd even want her to come with me and have her get banged by other guys, I'm fine with it. It's something about a group of people who don't even know each other all making each other feel physically good that fuels my fantasy. But because of her personality type, I'm 99% sure that even *mentioning* something as small as a threesome would probably cause the relationship to end.

    So I've been doing a lot of soul searching on this one. I keep struggling with thoughts of like, "you only live once, should do as much with life as you want to," including live out fantasies, but at the same time, I can see myself marrying this girl, so I'm not at all ready to throw the relationship away; I love her very much, it's just sexually we're on two different levels. Anyone else ever been in a similar situation?
     
  2. lilbyrdy

    lilbyrdy New Member

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    yeah its hard because you don't want her to think that you aren't into her or that you don't love her..and also you really do want her to understand that you care about her getting off too!!!...i am in an a relationship with a gurl that allows me to bang her and another gurl in bed from time to time and its so wonderful pulling out of your gurlfriend and sliding into her gurlfriend and then back again with both of them saying things like "ooooo i love your cock"...seriously it is incredible, i take ages to blow so i can take care of 2, i love to please!!
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    #1: How old are you? Are you ready to cut off your fantasies at this point of your life?

    #2: If she is jealous at seeing you 'glance' at another woman....consider this... there will be many women, many times, for the rest of your life, that will be beautiful. They will be worthy of a glance. Some may even be worthy of a long, hard STARE! What will happen then?

    Two people who are committed to each other need to be confident within themselves to allow an occassional flirtacious moment.

    NOW!!!--- I do not believe that she is the person who will indulge in your group sex fantasy. that's a totally different realm. If this is a "hot" issue with you, then YOU need to decide what's more important. But remember, sometimes the "fantasy" is much more enticing that the reality of it happening. Men, in particular, seem to be prone to this dilemna. (Dodging the throwing of rotten tomatoes... :lol )
     
  4. psycho123

    psycho123 New Member

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    In regards to our ages, we're both 23, which is why this is such a hard issue for me. I keep thinking that *this* is the time to let loose in life and have fun, go wild. I just keep on masturbating to such erotic videos to keep my fantasy/desires in check. But in doing so I feel like I'm just subduing a desire that is naturally a part of me, not something I should have to subdue or ignore. Ahh I'm so lost :\
     
  5. Bluesy

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    I'm going to say that this is more than a fantasy, that it's become an obsession. Fantasies are things we play with in the privacy of our minds (and sometimes, if circumstances allow, we get to enact them), and when we're through, we let them go and get on with life. When you can't easily let them go, you know you've got a problem. An obsession is something you think about often, which eventually creates mental stress and/or real life problems. That you're contemplating sacrificing your relationship so you can enact this fantasy says to me that things are pretty out-of-control. If I were you, I would stop watching the videos, and lay off the gangbang/group porn for a while. I think it's just making things worse. People will often go to greater and greater lengths to satisfy an obsession, and you might just be doing that. You could try to abstain from that sort of pornography and see if it helps, at any rate. (If you can't easily give it up, then you'll know you've got a problem.) Good luck to you.
     
  6. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    If only gangbangs and groupsex were that easy to get involved in Psycho!
    Try to get yourself invited to a sex party, it's not usually that easy and if
    you can, you'll find out one way or the other if you're up for it, not all guys
    are, even at 23!
    Porn videos are one thing, the guys and girls are paid for doing that job, but
    many would be male porn performer has fallen by the wayside and even more
    amateur guys have failed to perform at parties.

    As for getting your GF involved, that certainly isn't the easiest of tasks, she
    has to be up for it and just chatting about it with her should tell you if there's
    even half a chance that she fancies the idea!
     
  7. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I have been similar situation. There are at least three things you need to consider. The first is developing the relationship more. Is is possible that she knows that this is a fantasy of your and she is feeling insecure? Maybe she knows you have interests outside of the relationship and that knowledge is making her feel uneasy? Finally do the two of you have issues about communication (e.g. there are certain things the two of you absolutely will not discuss together)? If so find ways to discuss them and break down the barriers. Maybe try when you are out saying don't you think that guy is hot? Maybe trying other ways to get her to open up. It sounds as though you are committed to her take the time to discuss your feelings with her and find ways to make her feel secure.

    The next thing to consider, have you tried talking to her about it outside of the bedroom? You say she probably would end the relationship if you brought it up? If you are considering marrying her wouldn't you agree that it is bad start to the marriage if you could not talk to her about certain things like fantasies?

    Final thing to consider is this the right relationship for you? In all honesty if you are feeling that there are certain things you cannot discuss and you are looking for other ways to release it then is this the right relationship for you?
     
  8. SexyScorp

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    If she is as jealous as you say she is i would either..

    ...keep it all in the head...as a beautiful fantasy

    ...or try and work out in your mind why you need to have others coming in

    do you really think a woman who is that way inclined would stand by and watch you with another woman...or even worse women?

    I know I wouldnt.....I am always too passionate about the one I am with...

    it would leave me cold....

    there is a large chance she may feel the same?
     
  9. eighthalf

    eighthalf Member

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    Ok some questions:
    What if you caught her looking at other guys?
    What if she went to the gang bang, or got a partner for sex, would that bother you?

    I would gues that if you cannto talk to her about your desires, she might not be the girl for at this time.