Hello there, I'm having a problem that's troubling me more and more. I've got a long time partner. We're together, but our worlds are apart. It took me time to realize, but I see that I'm very lonely. Our interests are very different. I care about him, but I'm not sure I love him anymore. We talk about things, and he have talked thoroughly about our main problem: we're not compatible in bed. I'd like more sex, I'd like him to take the lead, to seek sex. But when he does, he only uses five different lines: 1) I'm clean (that's his clue to get a bj, which I give most times, with pleasure, because I do enjoy sucking his cock); 2) let's go upstairs? (We're then supposed to go upstairs, shower, get in bed and fuck without much of a foreplay); 3) are you really in the mood? (I'm supposed to be very excited, so that, again, we could have sex without foreplay); 4) he fondles my butts (he's crazy about my butts); 5) he fondles my belly. The 1) one ends like: he cums and that's it. I don't get any pleasure, unless I make the move, like asking for it, putting his hand on my clit. Number 2, 3, 4 and 5 end in sex. I'll bj him, I'll kiss him, I'll turn around, he'll fuck me from behind, come, then it's over. There's a variant, when we'll 69. And another one: he comes (from bj, or from sex, always fucking me from behind) and I lay down, he fingers me till I cum. We've been together for 15 years, and he still doesn't know exactly where my clit is, because when he's fingering me, I have to move his finger to the right place, then he goes down, or up, and sometimes I get so upset, I just tell him to stop, because my body's too frustrated and I'd rather get it over with (I don't tell him all of that, but only to stop, that it's OK). When he fondles my belly, I feel really bad. I've got a normal weight, but there's a little fat on my belly. Not a lot, really. I'm curvaceous, big bum (that I like and he loves). But to have him pinching my belly fat is really hard on me. I feel like crying just writing to you about it. I feel like a fat lump, and I'm not. I exercise, survey my weigh. I like to keep a healthy weight. I'm not obese, nor overweight. When he's "fondling" me, he talks to me as if I was a baby. That's sweet, but not really exciting. I've talked to him about it all. He recognizes that it isn't nice and he promises he'll change. But he doesn't. I'm his first sexual partner. He was a virgin when we met. I've told him many times that he can have sex with other women, if he wants to, if that's what he's missing. I've gone as far as sending him on vacation overseas alone, putting condoms in his luggage, giving advices on how to flirt, etc. I want him to be sexually happy. He says he's got enough with me. But this is such a boring sexual life... Recently, I've told him I'm very horny (always been) and that I'm losing interest in having sex with him, because it's so frustrating. This was a painful conversation for him, but it only came after 15 years or so of lighter versions, when I didn't go so far as to say that. I've tried telling him what to do with me, I've tried telling him he could try anything he liked, etc. I've taken him on sex vacations, when we fucked like mad, but always kind of pushing from my side. He really wanted the sex, but when he takes the initiative, is in one of the 5 modes I've told you above. I've told him I was frustrated. At 41, I'm unhappy sexually and I'm afraid my sexual life's over. I feel horny and I get no satisfaction. I've told him I'd like to have sex with other men. I've explained him I've never cheated on him (true), and that there's no one I'm interested on (true), but that I fantasize about having sex with a bit of a difference. For instance: I'd like a guy who can keep an erection, who can fuck me in other positions than doggy. He only keeps an erection if I'm bj him, or if it's doggy. I'm so frustrated. I don't wanna lose him, go away. I think he needs me. He's going through a bad professional patch (it's not an excuse, because he's always been like this sexually). But I don't think I love him anymore. I wanna love him. I wanna be happy with him. And, above all, I don't wanna hurt him. He's so weird, that I'm afraid if I leave, he'll die alone. He's not romantic, not handsome, not rich, not really interesting... he's clothes aren't fashionable. I don't care for these things, because I'm a bit of a weirdo, too. But the sexual thing has worn me out. I'm just so frustrated. I think if I could have sex with other men, I could stay with him. Or I can stay, renouncing sex. It's so difficult. I'm afraid if I have sex with another man, I'll fall in love with another man. I don't wanna do this to my partner... Please, give me some advice... please. I've done lots of things to give him pleasure, like sucking his dick while he watches porn movies, etc. We've done anal sex (it hurt, because he really doesn't know his right from his left... but it was OK). He loves it all, but that's it. I keep doing these things, but that's all. I get no change on my side. I at least enjoy seeing his orgasms. Thank you for reading this long, sad post.