Sex has changed

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by AGFUNK, Dec 4, 2013.

  1. AGFUNK

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    I had our son almost five weeks ago and at 4 weeks postpartum my husband and I had sex. I wasn't even intending to have sex until 6 weeks. I was on top of him while he was wearing a condom and was rubbing against his cock and he just slid in. No resistance what so ever. It didn't hurt and we both came but I'm a lot looser than I was and I wouldn't have cum if it wasn't for already being so worked up.

    We've only had sex twice since and once it was extremely uncomfortable for me and we had to stop. My husband has only asked to be sucked or jerked off since. I'm trying to do kegels when I remember but taking care of an infant I often forget. I hoped that this would never happen. Everything else went great no problems with the birth or recovery just the sex part. Is there anything else I can do?
     
  2. alwaystry

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    Well I would say give it some time also. I know the easy one is talk about but I have sort of been in this situation not too long ago. As a male ,the baby thing got to my head , I was afraid of hurting her and she didn't feel great about her body so sex has been much more far between then before. Try differant positions , jacking him against your clit and slide in on and off.
     
  3. HotForHoney

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    Why you try to do them when you change his diaper?

    Once you heal it should be ok. If not, talk to your doc at your next apt.

    Congrats on the baby!!!!
     
  4. rileyjane

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    I had the same issue after i had my child.. It takes time and kegals help a lot! One thing that really worked weel for us was him rubbing his cock on my clit.. We would both cum,. You will be bck to normal in a few months! And i agree some of it has to do with the guy hurting you, that takes time too..
     
  5. Anotherday

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    Patience grass hopper.

    The vagina is a muscle it can stretch and retract.

    Time is your friend.
     
  6. Silverfox

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    I agree. Patience and exercise. The tightness will return. It'll happen. :)
     
  7. Country_Lily

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    Just like everyone said above, time will heal everything trust me and don't be so hard on yourself you have a new baby to worry about and sleep deprivation. You will be back to having great sex before you know it Hun x
     
  8. AGFUNK

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    Of course time. I have no patience though. It sucks that I feel like I'm not wanted in that way. I know he's still attracted to me since he lets me know everyday. I'll try to remember when I change him. I already try to remember when feeding him since I can't do anything else. This just seriously sucks and puts my confidence way down.
     
  9. Silverfox

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    Baby, don't let your confidence go. This is just one small part of your life. It'll happen, don't worry, and try to be patient. It'll be alright.
     
  10. AGFUNK

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    Rileyjane did you still have sex while tightening up? I'm thinking I might just forgo sex altogether except getting my husband off otherwise he won't leave me alone. Maybe that would help as well as doing the kegals? We can't really do the rubbing against clit since we have to use condoms and lube and it will just get uncomfortable after awhile.
     
  11. 12barblues

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    My ex and I went 4 yrs without intercourse after our second child was born....honestly, I'm not sure why..... It just happened that way. We just did other things sexually...hang in there....normalcy will return...
     
  12. AGFUNK

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    Four year is a really long time. I would really hope it never came down to that.

    I texted my husband last night and told him that I would rather not have sex until I'm tighter down there. I also told him that he could get himself off in the bathroom while I'm sleeping and that I didn't want to know about it. I just feel horrible about sex in general right now and just would rather not do anything. I hope he understands. I already feel horrible telling him that but until I take care of myself I really don't have the will to do anything.
     
  13. AGFUNK

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    So apparently my husband thought I didn't want to have sex because I needed a bigger dick. He also thought I wasn't attracted to him anymore because he's gained weight since we've been together but he's now losing it. I assured him that it wasn't him and had nothing to do with him. Just that I don't feel sexy and feel horrible about myself. Well he had not slept all day and was feeling down and needed to be loved. He asked me to touch his cock and I did. He also asked me to suck it and I told him I would after we finished moving.

    So we finished moving put the baby to bed and I sucked my husbands cock. I did it to make him happy and to know I still wanted him in that way. He asked if he could fuck me and I said ok and to get the lube. I got on top of him like he wanted and it took awhile for it to feel good for me. He kept telling me that he loved me and a bunch of sexy things . He got on top of me and it got really passionate. He told me he wanted to fuck me like that every day. We both had massive orgasms and it was great. We also had sex today. It really helped with my confidence knowing that he still wants me.

    We have to stop having sex though since I'm still bleeding and having discharge.
     
  14. Silverfox

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    It'll work out. Keep talking to each other. You feel a certain way and then he misunderstands you. Pregnancy, child birth and the time right after are stressful. Just keep talking.
     
  15. Anotherday

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    Let me also add that not all men like a tight vagina all the time. Personally a wet open cunt is a huge turn on for me. Never understood the idea that a woman should strive to always keep her vagina as tight as a teenagers anyway.
     
  16. rileyjane

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    We did not have "penetration sex" for about 3 months. We did the clit thing, and lots of oral. I think your idea above will help, dont give up! Keep doing those kegals, do about 100 a day. They really do work. And I understnad the clit rubbing would definately be uncomfortable after a while. I wish you the best! It just takes time, and patience, and it is not easy for either of you! :(
     
  17. redics_girl

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    Penetration sex is different after a baby. It hasnt been two months yet, honey, dont push yourself. Your hormones and feelings are going crazy, you have this new giant thing in your lives that demands constant attention and care, and it will take some time for the dust to settle. Dont rush the physical aspect. I did with our son, and did more damage to myself, and it was about 8 months before i could have pain-free sex. Give your body time to heal. Connect with your husband in an emotional way and the rest will come.