I have issues (doesn't everyone?) and I'm trying to sort through them. For me i use sex as a validation of my appearance and self worth, i guess. If my boyfriend has sex with me and likes it i get an "ego boost" so to speak. There is of-course natural urges that make me want sex too, though, i guess no where near as frequent. Though i can get myself off 3 times in a row (or more) watching porn or waiting for my boyfriend to get home, and obviously no one is there for me to impress so that must be natural urges, healthy urges. So i don't want them to go as such, maybe lessen because i should focus on more useful things. When i manage to seduce him and he is into it, i either have 2 feelings. I feel guilty, or i feel i have succeeded- therefor become cocky, and start to joke around and want more. Like an addict. I would like to keep a normal sex drive (3 times a week max, though it would probably ebb and flow) but i also want to stop wanting sex for validation of looking good enough that someone wanted to bang me. We've agreed not to have sex until we sort out our issues...actually, our bodies sort of decided that. Therefore i would like to sort this out. So guys, help me out here, how do i stop using sex for validation?