sex and women cumming?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by daewoo, Jun 2, 2004.

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  1. daewoo

    daewoo New Member

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    hey i was wondering, when having sex is it uncommon for the woman not to cum? cus with my gf we have just started to have sex and she says it is the best sex she has had but that she aint really close to cumming. she has came from oral sex before but she would like to cum while having sex. any advice?
     
  2. Rain691

    Rain691 New Member

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    When I first started having sex, I didn't cum the first 6 Months of having sex. I didnt' even know I could. But once I did I was able to cum from intercourse and Orally. I think it is just getting to know your body, keep trying new things untill it happens. :)
     
  3. innerwildwoman

    innerwildwoman New Member

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    Women usually need clitoral stimulation to come. There are a number of ways you can do this during penetrative sex.

    1) You can use your fingers or a vibrator to stroke her clit
    2) Some positions lend themselves more to clitoral stimulation. Woman on top, or man from behind positions allow more room for fingers and vibrators. Also, if you align yourselves so that you're putting pressure on her clit while you thrust, that may help.
    3) Once a woman has had a clitoral orgasm from oral or manual stimulation, it's more likely she'll come during sex.

    Also, G spot stimulation can cause intense orgasms during sex.

    All of these take some practice and getting used to, so relax and enjoy each other.
     
  4. Glio_Amarvi

    Glio_Amarvi New Member

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    Speaking from personal experience and what I've gained counseling couples specifically for sexual issues, please know that this is very common. It is more and more common as you work your way down in the age of the woman involved (I assume she is approximately your age). This problem is rarely caused by performance or by the use (or lack of use) of any particular technique or combination of techniques. That's possible, but very unlikely to be the problem, so you can relax about that-it's probably not what you're doing or not doing. It's more likely to be because she herself is not sexually mature enough to reach orgasm during intercourse, or at least not predictably enough to guide you yet. I don't mean she's immature-I just mean she probably doesn't have that much experience with her sexuality yet, which is only natural. She may feel sexually inhibitted, which is often a major culprit for women. Again, the younger the woman, the more likely this is the case. She may simply not know what she wants or may have fears of being "caught", or of becoming pregnant, or of contracting a disease. I had a client once that was paraniod of coming up pregnant. She was a virgin and she was on the pill for a medical condition-endometriosis. Her fear kept her from enjoying natural, perfectly normal and rather innocent relations with boyfriends. She was 16. There was no rational explanation for her fear. The real fear was of her parents finding out somehow that she had sexual fantasies and desires. She was ashamed of having them. Becoming pregnant would certainly reveal her secret, but there was no chance of it happening and she was making sure of that. This is an extreme example, but if your girlfriend is in fear of something relating to sexuality or to men in general, she may not be able to discuss that with you or even fully realize that it is interfering with her ability to orgasm. The sad thing is, if this is the case, it will interfere with her sex life long after you've gone. All you can really do, unless you care enough for her to really talk to her about the issues that may lie behind this without putting any pressure on her to orgasm, is to use varying techniques. Do you want her to truly benefit or do you want her to orgasm for some other reason, like to take your own measure (no offense, but some men do measure themselves by their ability to please a woman in bed)? The fact is, if she consistently does not orgasm, she is not experiencing good sex, even if it's the best she's had in her so-far-short sexual history. That shows a willingness on her part to be deceptive toward you about her sexuality. It's hard to talk about for a lot of people, so don't look at it like she's lying to you-she just may not be able to bring herself to openly discuss her needs, expecially if she's not sure what they are or is embarrassed about even having needs (goes with being inhibitted). Try to vary your techniques to discover what she likes, sure. Check that she is well-lubricated before penetration. Don't try to do it in water until this is solved, as that can wash it away. Be sensitive to her responses to take care that you're not hurting her-watch her face. She may not tell you something hurts until she can't stand it any more. Deep penetration can hurt at times, especially in rear-entry positions. She may need her breasts stimulated during sex, either orally or manually. Or her ass sqeezed or her hips held at the waist. She may want you to talk to her or groan in her ear. Some women are more focused on their partners' pleasure than their own and respond well to knowing they are giving you an intense feeling that you can't control. Some women want to know when you're going to cum and enjoy hearing about it. If you show lowered inhibition, she may respond in like kind and really open herself up for you and enjoy her own body more. Sometimes, just whacking a girl's clit the right way or using the right toy isn't enough. Sex is not that simple for women and we are all different. In fact, what works well for a particular woman today may do nothing for that same woman a week or a month from now and then work again after a period of time. We're just not usually that easy to learn. That's a good thing-it keeps the sex fresh and interesting. If you're going to be with her for a length of time, my suggestion is to try getting into her head as well as experimenting with her body together. And yours-I don't mean to leave you out.
     
  5. daewoo

    daewoo New Member

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    thx 4 all your help

    the other night when i was with my gf i made her have the most intense orgasms, this was done orally and with the use of my fingers, she was a bit shocked afterwards as there was a wet patch on my bed which i didnt mind ;) so with the whole cumming while having sex i dont think is a big issue as we have not yet really experimented as of yet, but im sure with practice it will be fine.

    thx again
     
  6. hil_hil

    hil_hil New Member

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    wet patch on ur bead..suer she din't piss herself from excitement...
     
  7. bandit

    bandit New Member

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    i've had sex with 5 women so far, including my wife. 4 of them didn't cum through intercourse, they all needed manual or oral stimulation to the clitoris. i've spoken with many people about this and it's quite common.
     
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