Sex and Trust.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Stormin10, Aug 11, 2010.

  1. Stormin10

    Stormin10 Member

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    I have a friend with an interesting dilema, their husband constantly checks up on her, spys on her, checks her phone and has told her he doesnt trust her yet constantly wants sex with her..
    Would you want to sleep with your partner if you didnt trust them???

    Would you feel like sleeping with your partner if you felt they didnt trust you ???
     
    #1 Stormin10, Aug 11, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2010
  2. Hot Wheels

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    How long have they been together?
    Without knowing any of their history, it's hard to gauge why he has this apparent obsession with her commitment to their relationship.
    He is however, obviously very insecure.....has she given him any reason to be like this?
    As for your question.....Yes,.....I have been in a relationship where I didn't trust my partner....but I still slept with her:ugh
     
  3. Stormin10

    Stormin10 Member

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    Been married over 20 years, She works in a gym as a personal trainer and he gets insecure. HAS to know who texts her, who's on the phone, checks her phone bills, questions unrecognised numbers.... Has accused her of innapropriate relationship without any real evidence about 8 years ago but never caught her doing the wrong thing... she's caught him out though but never let him know that she knows...
    Even her kids are sick of him picking on her...
     
  4. Mittimer

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    To comment on the first part, that's insane. I'm going to assume that there is a long standing issue as they are married and he checks on her. Does she have a past of cheating? Has he caught her talking to ex's? Or has she been the ideal wife and not shown any sign of any of this but he's just insecure?


    To answer your first question: No, I wouldn't. I have to trust someone to give something like that to them. I don't really believe in casual sex for the sake of sex. I don't care if others do it, it's just not me. If I don't trust someone, there is always going to be those negative thoughts in the back of my mind that are distracting me from feeling good or having a nice time. If it's my partner? Hell no, if I didn't trust them I wouldn't even so much as sleep in the same bed as them, let alone have sex with them.



    Like I said above, no. It works both ways. If my partner couldn't trust me it's going to be for a good reason. I'm not going to have sex with them in the process. Why would you allow someone who shows obvious distrust in your relationship to have any type of sexual intercourse with you? Even if it's just to 'go through the motions' I still think it's bullshit.

    No trust:No sex
     
  5. Hot Wheels

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    Maybe it's time she gave him a dose of his own medicine.....:ugh
    It's almost as if he's trying to drive her away....:eyes
     
  6. Stormin10

    Stormin10 Member

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    Well she wants to leave him but is staying for the kids, has no feelings for him at all, he basically forces himself on her while she sleeps...
    Id say its an insecurity control thing....
     
  7. Mittimer

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    Ohhhh.
    So he's just paranoid that she'll call him out on his stuff so he's pushing the shit off on her? Hmm..

    By the way, NEVER stay for the kids. Living in a loveless marriage is not a good role model for children. >.<
     
  8. Hot Wheels

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    Irrespective of whatever else has already been said.....
    The phrase above should be enough to convince her to.....
    Piss him off.....NOW!
    For her sake....and the kids:mad
     
  9. Barbwire

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  10. pool_shark

    pool_shark Active Member

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    Sounds to me like she's headed for danger with this dude.

    Staying for the kids rarely works out for anyone.

    Clearly he's insecure and controlling and if she doesn't give in to his advances he may get violent.

    She needs to re-evaluate her situation and think of getting herself and their kids away from him while she can.

    She needs to talk to a therapist or someone from a woman's shelter for help.
     
  11. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

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    Trust is the first thing one needs for a relationship. But that does not seem to be the real issue here, it's insecurity and control. A damn shame kids are involved but she is not doing them any favors, she whould put the kids first and get out of dodge. Forcing himself at night is not sex, it's sick. Tell her to run and not walk before he get's physical which it souldns to me it is headed that way!
     
  12. Stormin10

    Stormin10 Member

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    Well she is making plans to leave, but its a long term process for her...
     
  13. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

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    It always is until something bad happens. That's an excuse to put off the hard part.
     
  14. luvbug

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    Sounds like my marriage!!
    And I am staying ....or trying to....until my daughter graduates next year. I know some /most people wont agree with my decision...but its whats best for her and I ATM.

    I dont like having sex with my hubby....but if I dont then Im accused of crap...so I "put out".

    I dont really have any advice....she has to do what makes her happy. I wish her the best.
     
  15. pussydog

    pussydog New Member

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    she has to tell him to stop all that.that is just out of line.but if she can put up with it then that is cool,all the best to her.
     
  16. spicy_latina

    spicy_latina New Member

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    Yes that's how I feel,she might not be doing any good to her kids if they notice the tension between them and the problems all the time. It gives the wrong idea of what a marriage is supposed to be.
    And to answer the original question, no I would not have sex with someone that does not trust me and/or does not respect me