Hello all: So in a nutshell, my boyfriend broke up with me on August 9th. We started as best friends, and four years later we dated for several months, now broken up but still best friends. Always best friends. That is something he insisted on, and I do as well. What sparked the romance was that we became "friends with benefits". Our sex is spectacular, and we do things with one another that we would never do with someone else. My feelings for him were so strong that I was going to ask him to marry me. The problem is that there is still a sexual attraction. I really want to continue to be "friends with benefits". Badly. He is not so crazy about the idea. He just had major surgery and really wants to not have sex or even date for at least a year, so he can sort out his issues. He knows, though, that from time to time he will get horny, and that I would be the only person on his list to have sex with. But he is concerned that if we had sex that it would only confuse and upset me. I told him that I can separate sex from love, and that I very much want sex to be an option. I'm wondering if this is a good idea or not. We can't help our attraction to one another, and we both know that our sex is amazing. I'm pretty sure I can separate the sex from the love that I'm recovering from, but deep down there is a part of me that doubts it. I don't admit this to him, though. I just have a really hard time keeping my hands off him. Still, when I'm with him, I find myself stroking his thighs (my favorite part of him), to which he typically does not object. Sometimes he pulls back when I do, telling me that he's "on and off" about it. So is continuing to have sex a bad idea? I know I'll heal from the romantic part of things, but honestly, the sex is what I'm missing the most. It's to the point that masturbation does not quell my desire for him, as discussed in a previous post I made here. What I'm most afraid of is that if I don't have sex with him that I will find it elsewhere. Specifically online. It's so easy to hook up with someone here. I did that all the time years ago, and I don't want to do that again. It made me feel dirty, and not in a good way. Plus, it's dangerous. I welcome all advice. I really, really want to get past this.