Serious Question (Depression And Alcohol)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Kermit, Nov 10, 2010.

  1. Kermit

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    I know this is way off topic but I have a sense theres a great community of people here.

    I've been sober for a year. I had been drinking on my off days (making sure i had a full day to recover from the previous night) to cope with depression. Yes I note the irony lol. My habits were not..."responsible" I'd drink to get to my apathy state (which was about 4-6 shots) where nothing bothered me. But the problem was I never stopped there because my depression would return very quickly (within an hour) as I metabolized the alcohol. I'd keep drinking to stave off the depression I was escaping until I blacked out. I knew when I blacked out cause i'd find phone logs of calls I didn't remember making, or have a few sore spots I couldn't explain. I quit because I had been dealing with an alcoholic co-worker whose alcohol consumption was impacting my work having to fill in for her and having to stay late cause she was too hung over to show up for morning shift. I didn't want to end up like her if i continued down my path. Did I dodge a bullet? Was I close to developing alcoholism?
     
  2. Hot Wheels

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    Id think you'd be very close to being an alcoholic with a schedule like that.
    However, from what you've told us, I feel that you were just using the drink as a crutch against depression.
    Did you seek treatment for your depression?
     
  3. Untamed

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    I think you dodged a bullet definitely and it's great that you saw there was a problem and dealt with it. Something I myself need to do.

    I am an "emotional drinker" I tend to drink when I am sad then the sadness envelops me and I drink more to take away the pain. Yesterday I got upset at my partner over the littlest thing and was like "fuck this" and went to the liquor store bought some wine to "get over it" came home downed 3 bottles. I don't remember the last part of the night.

    "did you send that to the right person?" was a message I received from one of my on-line. friends. Stuff like that .. I don't even know what I sent. Then when I check facebook today last night I posted on some of my friends walls.. nothing out of the norm but it's just weird that I posted. I remember crying.. I remember nearly breaking up with my boyfriend and just being mean and selfish pretty much.

    I want to know how you did it, how you overcame the urge? and what are you doing now? are you coping well with your depression?
     
  4. Kermit

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    I've dealt with depression since i was 9 years old and survived three suicide attempts. Over the years I've seen doctors and been put on a dozen medications. I've been disillusioned by any form of traditional treatment due to utter ineffectiveness. Alcohol is the only drug that has ever helped. Well Marijuana helped the first time where i felt cured. But subsequent uses have failed to reproduce the first experience and I still retained my depression.
     
  5. Kermit

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    I'm not sure if i really recognized I had a problem as I was managing it quite well. There really wasn't an urge beyond wanting a temporary escape from depression. I was afraid of it escalating and spirally beyond my control as I've heard my family has a genetic predisposition to alcoholism. Used to joke that work was interfering with my drinking lol. I developed fairly extreme guidelines. If I'm not seeing double I haven't drunk enough. I only passed my "limit" if I wake up dead.

    Okay since you were kind enough to share i'll share some of mine:
    I found out one night in a blackout I had called the wrong store twice trying to reach my store. The people where I worked had no issue with me drunk dialing since it was night shift and was slow (the guy i was trying to reach actually requested i drunk dial him) which lead also to another embarassing moment where i left a drunken message at like 10PM maybe to the wrong number whose I have no idea who it was. Theres another story...where I was right across the street from a store (the one i accidnetly called twice) where i went over to get a pack of smokes. I came in and intended to get in and get out cause there was a cop inside but that went to hell cause a former coworker was working there. I was so drunk I went up to the cop and in an extremely drunken slur said "hiiiii offficerrrrrrrrr!" he ignored me but knew me. I realized how drunk I was when I later learned from her I had fallen and didn't remember it (i was so drunk I had blacked out before making it back). THat was the night where i drank half a liter of Rum.

    I deal with my depression best I can. I have my bad days. Though it's strange sometimes when I'm at my lowest, i snap out of it for a brief while, then go back to where I was.
     
  6. loveit247

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    Have you tried a combination of therapy, SSRI's and exercise? That is what worked well for me. I am not off the meds and therapy and needing to up my exercise as I can feel a slight return of the apathy that accompanies depression.