Serious intercourse problem

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by GameGuru36, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. GameGuru36

    GameGuru36 New Member

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    Ok, last week I just got married. Supposed to be the happiest time of our lives right? To start off I just want to say that both myself and my wife were virgins on our wedding night (probably technically still are I guess). I know, if this day and age that is rare but we come from strong Christian homes and were taught that waiting is the right thing to do.

    First problem, I am just 3 inches when fully erect. It has been the bain of my existance but I found a woman who loves me no matter what and I thank the Lord every day. Second, we are both "bigger" people, me being 230 and her being 220. You can probably see the problem forming, small penis and two people with more flesh that makes it hard for us to "merge" together. I can enter her but with no more than basically the tip of me. We have tried many different positions with the "doggy" being the best I guess. It is just so frustrating for many reasons, not just the sex part but we both want children really bad and our lack of being able to successfully have intercourse is making us worry. If we can never have sex like a regular couple we can satisfy that need other ways but not being able to impregnate her is a really big deal.

    Ok, we have talked of some options. Losing weight is on the top but everyone knows how hard that is and the time it takes. We also wondered if there is some way to lengthen my penis. Not surgery but some sort of pill or cream. I have seen ads but have heard they are fake. Are there any that are real?

    The other option we threw around was if there was something I could "finish" in then "inject" it into her. Like I said we both want children really bad and we are both in our 30s (not 30 year old virgin jokes please) so we kinda need to start now.

    We would gladly take all advice. Thank you all.
     
  2. heelfetish

    Gold Member

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    You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again. Losing weight may be difficult, but it's probably the best thing you both could do your yourselves and each other. The base of the penis is attached internally. The heavier (fatter) you are, the shorter your penis will appear. At 230 lbs (You didn't specify your height), I'd say you have around an inch to regain. That's pretty substantial.

    Losing weight isn't as hard as people think. Yes, it means making sacrifices, and yes, you need will-power. But think of your health and happiness. And before the thought crosses your mind, I am going through it right now. Just a few short months ago I was over 220 lbs (at 6'1"), and my wife is quite heavy too. So far I've lost 25 lbs, and I'm feeling much better about myself. My wife has lost 9 lbs so far.

    Becoming healthy isn't a short-term goal or a trend, it's a lifestyle change. Together you both can succeed.

    As for sex, you're both newbies. Have patience, and I'm sure you can work something out. Try different positions, your only limit is your imagination.

    IMO forget about pills or surgery. And don't worry about artificial insemination just yet. My wife & I took almost 2 years to conceive, and that's with both of us young and relatively healthy.
     
  3. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    i 100% agree with HF.
     
  4. Nettle

    Nettle Member

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    Somewhere on here I posted some *Big sex positions* that might help, I will find it and copy and paste it here for you.

    With this goal to motivate you, I hope you will be inspired to lose weight together, perhaps have a word with your doctor and see what they say? It is probably wise to check your help before starting a diet and excersie programme anyway. :)

    Good luck.
     
  5. Nettle

    Nettle Member

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    Here you go.....


    Big Sex Positions Suitable For
    Overweight Men
    Overweight Women
    Pregnant Women


    Pregnant Women
    These positions are also suitable for pregnant women, especially during the later months, and for anyone that has a heavy midline regardless of the reason. The pregnant woman should concentrate on the positions that place her on her side or on top of her partner, that way she can control the depth of penetration.

    Safety
    Always practice safe sex and use your common sense. If any of these positions cause you discomfort then stop and try another position. These positions are just suggestions and are open for experimentation and personal adjustments.

    Keep in mind that excess weight will cause shortness of breath and some positions may cause discomfort on the knees, depending on level of obesity.

    Missionary Style
    When the woman is also obese she can lie on her back with her legs bent at the hips, her thighs open as wide as possible, and her knees fully bent. This exposes her vulva and vagina. If her tummy is big she can lift it out of the pubic region until the man gets himself positioned between her thighs. If penetration is difficult pillows can be placed under her buttocks. This changes the entry. When legs or buttocks are raised the angle of penetration and the points of friction will be different. Although, when the woman is overweight it is easier if the male partner sits back on his haunches during intercourse. Too many pillows may make this difficult.

    Remember to never drop your full weight on your partner. Prop yourself up with your hands rather than your elbows, and lower yourself gradually. At the first indication that your weight is uncomfortable for her, raise yourself again.

    An overweight woman may find it difficult to breathe while lying flat on her back, and an overweight man my find it difficult to catch his breath while doing all the work during lovemaking for a long period of time. The man first stimulates the woman to orgasm without intercourse. Then have sex in the female dominant position, and end with the male dominant position. This position is the most stimulating position for the male and, he is likely to finish before either partner runs out of air.

    Straddle
    The man lies on his back, with his legs straight, or knees slightly bent. If he has a lot of abdominal fat, he can lift it up with both hands, as the woman straddles over him with her knees bent, and facing him. She can easily slide his erect penis into her vagina and start her pelvic thrusts either alone or in time with his.

    Back To Front
    When both partners have particularly large tummies, the woman can straddle the male’s penis with her back to him facing his feet. Push his belly up before you sit completely, then he can rest it up against your ass.

    Rear Entry Position
    Known as ‘doggie style’, the woman kneels on the bed with her legs slightly apart, and lowers her chest so that her buttocks are elevated. He kneels behind her, holding up his stomach with his hand and then inserts his penis from the rear. He can then rest his abdomen on the woman's buttocks making it easier for him to continue thrusting. Caution: It can be hard on the overweight woman's knees. Also if the overweight man’s penis is small and the angle of the woman’s vagina is slightly off, correct penetration may not be achieved.

    Rear entry is successful when both partners are standing with the woman resting her arms and/or torso on the bed and putting one leg up.

    Upside Down
    Lying down on your side, turn yourself around so that your partner's head is at your feet, and vice versa. Then shift slowly until your genitals are aligned. This way, you can completely avoid belly-to-belly contact.

    T Square Position
    The woman is on her back with her legs raised and spread wide apart. Her partner lies on his side with his hips under the arch formed by her raised legs. With both abdomens out of the way the penis can easily penetrate the vagina.

    X Position
    The woman lies on her back with her legs bent at the hips and her thighs spread as wide as possible. After the penis is inserted into the vagina, the woman then brings both legs together, while the man swings his body, in either direction, forming a large X. The woman should contract the muscles of her vagina (holding kegel) while the male is moving to avoid the penis from slipping out. This position is tricky to get into, but once in position it’s pleasurable.

    Stand And Deliver
    The woman is semi-reclining across the edge of a low bed, (use your elbows to help support your weight) and two chairs supporting the feet. The man kneels or stands in front of her while penetrating and thrusting. He can place pillows under his knees, if necessary, for elevation.

    The man lies face up over the edge of the bed with his legs together and his feet touching the floor. Place a pillow under the small of his back for support. The woman then stands astride him close to the edge of the bed, and inserts his penis.

    With one partner standing and the other lying over the edge of the bed, the standing partner has a lot of options for adjusting the angle of approach.

    Overweight Woman Only – Rear Entry
    The woman begins by lying on one side then draws her knee up towards her head until the knee is parallel to the opposite hip. Her vagina is accessible from slightly above and from behind. The man kneels behind her, with one knee on each side of her straight leg, and makes entry from the rear at a slight sideward angle. If necessary, he can raise his body slightly by placing a pillow under each knee.

    Keep lots of sturdy and large pillows on hand. Experiment with your pillows and discover your own positions that work just right for you.
     
  6. Jane948

    Jane948 New Member

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    HF is completely right. I used to be heavy myself and loosing weight has been the BEST for getting around the extra few around each other. If you'd like to PM me about this subject its cool, loosing weight the right way is also very important.

    Nettle thanks for the positions :D
     
  7. TheShed

    TheShed New Member

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    Hey Game Guru,

    Firstly, welcome to the forum. I hope you'll have many happens times on here.

    Weight and sex, two subjects very close to my heart. I'm going through the process of losing weight. I started at 315 pounds and I'm down to around 235 pounds now.

    I haven't got much to add to the advice above I just wanted to pop on and say good luck.
     
  8. GameGuru36

    GameGuru36 New Member

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    Thanks for all the responses. Losing weight is definitely what we would like to do but that isn't an instant thing and being newlyweds would love to be making love now. We will try some of those positions mentioned, the head to feet one sounds like a good idea but everytime I mention her getting on top she says no, I had to work her to get the doggy style as she believes missionary is the "proper" way. I guess it is our Christian background.

    Anything I can try to lengthen my penis in the meantime?
     
  9. Nettle

    Nettle Member

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    I really don't think there is any way to lengthen it, without surgery :(
     
  10. blueyedcouple

    blueyedcouple New Member

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    Keep trying.You will find a position that will work for ya ! Playing around and trying new stuff is half the fun right ?
     
  11. LaVitaDolce

    LaVitaDolce New Member

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    Yep! I love experimenting and trying new positions to see what feels good for the both of us.
     
  12. TheShed

    TheShed New Member

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    For a penis extension the only option is surgery really. Even then you'll not gain that much. Everything is pretty much inneffective.

    Have a look around though.
     
  13. heelfetish

    Gold Member

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    Religious beliefs can be a huge factor in limiting your sexual experience. It's up to you both to decide what is more important to you: Your religious beliefs, or your sexual satisfaction. This isn't meant to be judgmental, just an observation. :) Only you both can decide for yourselves. I bring this up, since Nettle posted some great positions for deeper penetration, but you won't be able to take advantage of them if beliefs limit you to one of 2 positions.

    Sadly there isn't much that drugs or surgery can do for your penis size. Drugs often don't work, and may likely cause unwanted side-effects. Surgery is painful, dangerous, and not very effective either.

    I understand your frustration, however aside from varying positions and losing excess weight, there is little you both can do to improve your sexual encounters. But please, don't be put off of losing weight just because you think it will take too long. I myself used that excuse for 5 years, and it didn't get me anywhere. Finally I decided to do something about it. Not only am I losing weight quickly, but I'm feeling much better at the same time. My stamina has increased substantially, and I've reclaimed about .5" of penis length, in only a few short months!

    Everything worth having is worth working for. Not much in life is instantaneous. You can't expect a miraculous change in your sex life without being willing to work at it. :)
     
  14. Darkgift

    Darkgift New Member

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    Trying to help

    Losing weight may be hard but I have two friends who have lost over a hundred pounds. It takes dedication and willpower. The biggest problem I have seen with people trying to lose weight is excess counter productive exercise. Moderate exercise rotated with intense days is the best way to lose weight. Studies have shown that moderate exercise burns more fat then intense, but intense exercise raises metabolism for 48 hours versus 8 hours after moderate. I suggest 3 days a week of weight lifting and 3 days of cardio. More then 1 hour in the gym will raise cortisol levels which will increase fat storage so limit your time to 1 hour. Diet is very important. This means eating the right things and the right amount. Things that are high on the GI (glycemic index) scale should be avoided. This means all white carbohydrates (white spaghetti, white bread, potatos, etc). You should only be eating complex carbs low on the GI scale (wheat bread, brown rice, wheat spaghetti, etc). Stay away from red meat. Chicken is a great source of protein and very low in fat (just don't eat the skin. You should only be getting 1800 calories a day when dieting. If you feel hungry, that is normal. There are many days when I am cutting that I feel hungry and 8% bodyfat is the max I have ever been. I just want to help, but it takes extreme effort and many days you will want to give up but you need to push. My friend and I use the german word "weiter" after every set and every run to let each other know the quest for more never ends. Weiter means further. But change comes with extreme effort. If you don't think you have time, then step back and take a look at your life to decide what is important to you. Arnold used to wake up at 4 am to train everyday when in the austrian military. This was two hours before he had to start his military duties everyday. He stored his barbells in a tank when he was a tank engineer. I can't imagine a situation more difficult then this. I have two jobs and make it to the gym daily. Just take it seriously and work at it. Remember also that lazziness is one of the seven deadly sins called Sloth. Goodluck, but I recommend before you start taking male enhancement pills you lose weight. Having excess fat leads to higher levels of estrogen which leads to a smaller penis. Therefore male enhancement probably wouldn't be very effective until you lose weight.