Hello All, After an 18 year relationship, 16 years of marriage I'm now a divorced dad of two boys, 13 and 14. I'm living a few miles down the road from them and spend every weekend and a couple of nights a week with them. I'm also in a new and healthy relationship with a woman I adore. She's also divorced a few years ago and has kids that are friends with my sons. We're working through a lot of issues with mean and hateful ex-spouses. In both of our cases there was alcoholism and psychological abuse. I didn't realize how much damage an abusive relationship can do to a person until I removed myself from the situation and had time to reflect. I really didn't realize how bad it was until after the divorce and my friends and family started sharing what they had seen with me. Very enlightening.