Saw my stalker in town yesterday. :(

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by fireontheside, May 4, 2013.

  1. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    After nearly a year and a half not ever seeing my stalker, and being perfectly content with that (since quitting my job), I "ran into" my stalker while I was on the bus. I glanced out the window and he was waiting at the bus stop across the street.

    A lot of really negative emotions--fear, disgust, panic--overcame me when I saw him. This man has a history of showing up at my workplace, approaching me in public places, and even following me around. In high school he wouldn't leave me alone, even though I made it clear that I was not interested in being his friend. Literally, the only thing I ever did to end up with this asshole bothering me was to attend high school.

    I was just beginning to feel okay, and assured that I wouldn't see him anymore. There was a period of about six years where I never saw him, and it was great. Then, randomly, out of nowhere, I see him again.

    It makes me really depressed sometimes. It just brought back a lot of negative feelings and feeling like I would never be rid of this person. It long since passed the point where it was annoying and became frightening after he showed up at my work in late 2009 and asked me out. A few weeks later, he asked me out again, I said no again, and I figured that was the end of it. Nope. He continued to show up periodically, and I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a contributing factor to my decision to leave my job.

    I'm just wondering if anyone has gone through something similar, and can relate.

    I can't really report him for anything. He hasn't broken any laws. He hasn't called my house (obviously, because he doesn't know my phone number), showed up where I live (because he doesn't know, thankfully, though I worry all the time about this), or technically committed stalking. Part of me also feels like I don't want to escalate the situation in any way. I just want him to disappear, honestly.

    I know this will probably be an issue until I move away from this part of the world.

    I don't know. I guess I'm just venting. It really sucked seeing him again. It really sucks to think about him. I hadn't thought about him in a really long time, and seeing him brought all those horrible feelings that I was going through in 2009-early 2010 back.
     
    #1 fireontheside, May 4, 2013
    Last edited: May 4, 2013
  2. suzzane

    suzzane Member

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    I am living it too, this guy from high school (many years ago) is still stalking me, random messages, showing up where I work, he disappears for years then it starts up again. did not even realize half of it til 5 or so years ago, made the mistake of helping him with school work, way back when, and in his head we have had something ever since, cannot change my cell number, he has it and I will get messages from him off and on some kinda scary, some creepy, most just weird. I never respond...
     
  3. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    Honestly, not that I'm saying women who were friends or dated the guy deserve being stalked, but you and I...we did NOTHING to deserve this except GO TO SCHOOL. It's ridiculous.

    We had chorus together and that's how it started. He started talking to me and I talked to him sometimes, I was just being polite. I didn't realize that he thought I liked him. I really didn't. What scares me is that he doesn't understand that if nothing's happened by now, nothing will. His persistence is creepy and makes me wonder if he could be dangerous. I just don't want to see him again, EVER. I probably won't see him again for another year but it's still super creepy!

    I really think you should get a new cell phone, get rid of that number, start over. I know it's hard but you have to shake this guy. That would be my advice.

    Guys who are unable to let go of an imaginary relationship they had with you in their head are the scariest. Even if I found him attractive I wouldn't be interested in him and would find him creepy, because he's a stalker, but he also happens to be very physically repulsive to me as well, so overall it's just a nasty predicament.

    :(
     
  4. lbushwalker

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    #4 lbushwalker, May 9, 2013
    Last edited: May 9, 2013
  5. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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  6. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    Well, bad news. I saw my stalker again today on the bus. I put my head down so that he wouldn't see me, thankfully he didn't.

    Ugh. It's always like this. A pleasant year, sometimes two, where I don't see him at all, and then I start seeing him over and over out of nowhere.

    I need to move to another state. All I did was go to high school, and now I'm stuck with a fucking stalker. :(