respond only if you are divorced! or have a solution for me!!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by KaiserSoze, Sep 16, 2012.

  1. KaiserSoze

    KaiserSoze New Member

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    this is my situation:

    married w/ kids --she's a great mom. i'm a pretty good father, too.

    no sex for me. she does not work. i provide all $$

    no sex at all!!
     
  2. AGFUNK

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    Have you tried talking to her? You really do need to provide more information if you expect anyone to try to help you.
     
  3. KaiserSoze

    KaiserSoze New Member

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    you are correct - i need to provide more details.
     
  4. Logger

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    "married w/ kids --she's a great mom. i'm a pretty good father, too.

    no sex for me. she does not work. i provide all $$

    no sex at all!! "



    I am not divorced, but I have been married long enough to have experienced varying stages of sexual cooperation in a marriage. So I will list out a few areas to consider.

    At what stage of foreplay does your rejection occur? Have you read over the foreplay section, to see how you might achieve increased arousal for your wife? How are your massage skills?

    How many more children can you afford? Do you have ample College savings accounts for all the children you have now? How many more children does your wife plan to have? What family planning methods have you used in the past? Has everything worked perfectly?

    What stages of foreplay can you enjoy with your wife?

    Do you listen to your wife, encouraging her to vent her frustrations at least 15 Minutes per day? Women, Wives, Mothers need some venting time without husbands expressing politcal/religious ideas.

    It sounds like you are frustrated, but I bet your wife feels some frustration also. Are you sure you are giving her the venting time she needs? Search Love and Respect. Secrets of Married men. There are a number of marriage sites that have suggestions for improving marriages. Sex is part of marriage, interrelated with other parts.

    Why did you not post this under Relationships?



    //
     
  5. backcheck64

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    I think you made a poor choice in a wife. Were you fucking like rabbits before the kids...and the marriage for that matter? You have to realize sex will suffer some with kids so if it isn't very hot and very often, you'll be down to once a year with begging. You've got kids, you're stuck till they are 18.
     
  6. Clintriprock

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    I was in that situation and waited until my daughter was almost 17. My wife was also a mean alcoholic. I left her for my one true love from 26 years before. I've never been happier.
     
  7. Andrea

    Andrea New Member

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    Amazing, so nice to read how things turned around :)
     
  8. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    There's gotta be more to the story.
     
  9. sandwich

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    I've never been divorced, but I think there are a whole lot of relationships that could use a communication overhaul.
     
  10. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    Backcheck64 has said it all.....but I have to ask....are you married or divorced? On thread you said to only answer if divorced.....but then you said married w/kids......
     
  11. pbs

    pbs
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    There are rarely simple answers to complex problems. If i were you, I'd talk to her about the situation, in front of a counselor if necessary, and try to find a amicable solution to the problem. Sex drive mismatch is a common problem and there are solutions. Good luck.
     
  12. surreal_thoughts

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    I suggest talking to a licensed professional marriage counselor. My cousin was in a similar situation (except he didn't talk about a sexless marriage but you knew that was a big factor because of subtle hints dropped) and after a few session, their marriage came around big time and both are very happy and the entire family is happy. Just because you're getting less to no sex, does not mean you need to resort to a divorce, especially if you two have kids in the picture...think about them more than whats in your pants...you two have got to set an example of they too will do what you plan to do if you follow through in the future when they encounter the same problem...food for thought. Hope you can find a solution.
     
  13. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    I'm glad everything worked out for them....you know....your a real nice guy....I hope your SO knows that.....


    You might need help like ST says.....some times it is good to get professional advice.......but hey....If you want to pay me....I'll call my self a professional....and I'll give you advice......:D
     
  14. backcheck64

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    The reason it's common is that people don't think...and don't really know the person BEFORE they get married. I wouldn't marry a person I didn't date at least 5 yrs before marriage. People tend to put on fronts when dating. You need to see all sides of a person, good and bad, and most of all, the truth, before you tie the knot. I was never for playing games, fortunately my wife wasn't either. She hasn't really changed in the past 30 yrs..except for her eating/exercise habits, which have changed for the good. We were also open to trying new things suggested by the other. I introduced her to hockey, now she knows when Blues players are traded before they do and she did 2 yrs as president of the local youth hockey club where our kids play. While she's never learned to skate for shit, she knows every rule forwards and backwards. I introduced her to cycling and now we go nowhere without our bikes. I've changed a lot of my eating habits due to her. It's a combination of knowing the true person and a willingness to try new things. If you can't do that, forget it, don't get married. That's why almost all of our friends and family have 1 to 4 divorces and we're still together 30 yrs later.
     
  15. surreal_thoughts

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    Your too kind Bitchin. Thank you for the kind words :) and I hope my S/O realizes it as well...I have nothing but good intentions for the two of us and our relationship/soon to be marriage.
     
  16. pepsi

    pepsi New Member

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    I was in your position many years a go. Married, I thought happily, with two children, a dog and a big house. She didn't have to work, but had a teaching degree. She was the easiest girl to get off I ever was with. She wasn't that into oral either way but would try. After the second child, we never had sex again. I went that way for seven years with her. We went for marriage counseling many times, but with no real help. Her position was if you need it go find it with someone. I never wanted my children to suffer and she was a great mom. I met someone that was much younger that wanted to have sex with me and her girl friend. After that I was hooked on her. I divorced my wife a year after that, and in a long term relationship (23) years of crazy sex with her. My ex wife is still a good friend, so it turned out in the end.
     
  17. Clintriprock

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    This sounds like me but my ex wasn't very happy as in wanting to cut my balls off.
     
  18. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    Why the fuck would you tell yur man to find someone else. It's like begging for a divorce. In my opinion.
     
  19. Clintriprock

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    Pretty much. And then when you get with someone else and it takes off it's like "No! You can't leave! What will I do??!!"
     
  20. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    Fuckin A. That's some stupid shit. I told my husband once to find someone who will make him happy. Little different than - go find a fuck buddy - but even then it was when we were already filing divorce. Lol.