Relationship with my parents going bad.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by too_thick, Dec 2, 2010.

  1. too_thick

    too_thick Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Let me just start off That there is no mother/son bond at all , that token was won over by my grandma. My mom was jealous of that, so she dump me on to my grandma when I was 8 . Aways when I was 13 my mom wanted me to move up to Palmdale with her (I was forced to). That's when I started having my issues . That's when my grades starting slipping A's and B's(a C here and there) to C's and D"s, once I got into high school All F's. When she past away in 05 I just Isolated my self from 17 to 21-1/2.

    I am not worrying about school right now as I registered at the Community College in WA for a 2 Year Associate's Combo Degree.(Full-Time)So no matter what I am going to WA.
    The fact comes down to whether or not I'll visit.





    Just before I turned 22 I decided to start dealing with my issues. few months ago I asked her why she dump me onto my grandma and wanted me back. But all I got was excuses such as "Not right we'll talk about it later. "
    3 months ago I also told her that I was going to move to my brothers place in WA . right now my mom is trying to put some kind of guilt trip on me, but I am not falling for it.


    How can I get her to talk about it?


    It does not make it any better that they owe me some money also. I am not really worry about that since they are paying me back slowly.
     
  2. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    That's really rough and I'm sorry you are having to deal with that. As for getting your mom to talk about it, it sounds like short of strapping her to a chair and drugging her, it's not going to happen. It's really hard to say what is going on in her mind, but I'm guessing she does want to be your mom, but selfish feelings regarding the bond you had with your gramma come up and override everything. The only thing that is certain is that for it all to be resolved she *is* going to need to talk things out, and probably by herself before you guys can work together on bridging the canyon between the two of you.
     
  3. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    It may be 20 more years before you both mellow out and find yourselves on common enough ground to realize life is too short to let (her)youthful stupidity matter. But don't let that stop you from reminding her you have questions and need answers. She won't forget. She might feel too embarrassed at her mistakes to be ready to admit them to you (or even herself).

    I know; spoken like an old guy, but I've experienced it.

    Sometimes those things finally come out when you both are old enough to realize that you're just people doing your best, sometimes successfully, sometimes not, and shifting priorities begin to accommodate a more relaxed understanding of each other. Common ground develops as a result of shared life experiences. After a while she might look back and say - boy how stupid was I back then, as you've probably done thinking of other things from your own youth. Maybe you'll both develop an unbreakable bond and respect for each other when that time comes.
     
  4. young_gun_91

    young_gun_91 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2010
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Maryland
    I think you should just keep trying. I can't relate to the situation, so it might seem a bit insensitive for me to say this, but you should try to worry about yourself more than her. While family is important, your life is also very important. Worry about getting good grades, making new friends and enjoying life more than trying to sew that relationship back together. That's my two cents.
     
  5. too_thick

    too_thick Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    right now it's teetering on the edge of going *poof* with both of them.

    Right now my dad is trying to sabotage my credit score. I also suspect that my dad used my SSN to get a credit card before in the past when I was under age..

    The reason suspect it was used because I got a unsecured card *rewards card* without a issue and with a decent limit .That's why I suspect they used in the past without my knowledge.
     
  6. Hot Wheels

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,415
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney,Australia
    Irrespective of your personal issues with your family, a bad credit reputation is the last thing you need at your age.
    I'd be pulling out ALL stops to make sure they can't accrue any debts in your name.
    I can't stress this strongly enough.....do whatever it takes to stop this.:eek
     
  7. handy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2010
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    195
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    london england
    i fell for you and understand you concerning your parents,
    i tryed from a child and im still trying now to have any kind of relationship with mind,
    i had a father who beat me when ever the mood took his fancy.
    the last time he beat on me was a month before i got married. i was 21
    i had a mother who would have nothing to do with me what so ever.
    i tryed to talk to my father about all the crap i put up with,
    and i got more or less the same answer,
    dont want to talk to you about all that. he even had the cheek to ask me why was i digging up the past.
    well forgive me if i would like to understand why i was his punch bag,
    and concerning my mother i might of well not bothered having one.
    because she allowed him to get away with that.
    but on the other hand they are both still alive and i do love my parents no matter what.
    but its still an up hill battle just to have a normal relationship with either of them.
    i wish you all the luck in the world.