Relationship sex problem

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by AGFUNK, Dec 14, 2013.

  1. AGFUNK

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    I have my mil and bil visiting us right now. We have a studio apartment so there's no way that my husband I have could have sex or anything. We haven't had any sex since last tuesday and I don't even know if we did then. I can't even get off by myself since I have our son all day and I have no time. He promised me this morning that he wouldn't jerk off that he wanted to wait for me. Unlike me he actually has time to masturbate in the shower. He knows that it makes me feel bad and he constantly forgets. Our visitors won't be leaving until monday night and by that time my husband will be exhausted and will pass out. He works third shift so he will work sunday night and be up all day monday. So it will be a week or over since I've gotten off. I also have a problem with post partum depression right now and it makes me feel unwanted when he masturbates. I wouldn't be as upset about this if he hadn't have promised that he wouldn't. I would love some feedback on this. Whether I'm over thinking this, he was inconsiderate, both, or anything else. Please let me know all of your thoughts on this. Thanks.
     
  2. HotForHoney

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    I think it was a matter of opportunity not a choice to masterbate over having sex with you.

    Is there any way you could have the family watch your son and you guys escape to "do some shopping" or something.

    Maybe a little sexing-flirting would help. Talk to your husband. I'm sure it's hard on him having such a crowded house too.
     
  3. AGFUNK

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    They have only been here for two days. They got here friday morning. We haven't had sex since tuesday so that shouldn't be the problem. They have been watching him and helping me clean and we have been going out hanging out with them. We don't have the money to rent a hotel room and it's snowing outside so sex outside is out of the question. Plus it's selfish to leave them with our son while we go have sex when they are here to spend time with all of us.

    I have talked to him about how I feel. He feels like it's not a problem. I don't like making him feel bad about masturbating but this time it hurt really bad. Sexting wouldn't help. I have no way of relieving sexual tension and he would just masturbate. It's not hard on him having a crowded house. He invited them to stay with us so that they wouldn't have to spend money on a hotel room since it's outrageous and this way we could spend more time with them. I was/am totally on board with that.

    And honestly I do believe it's a choice. If I had the chance to masturbate and I knew it would make him feel bad I wouldn't. I would wait like I promised.
     
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  4. Silverfox

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    Your postpartum depression has me concerned. I think it's affecting how you view your entire situation. You gave birth, what, about five weeks ago? Don't let this continue for long. It can be dangerous. You need to take care of your mental health just as much as any other health concern. If you need professional help, get it. If medication is necessary for a short time, the baby can be bottle fed. As I told you on another thread, having a baby is a life changing event. The depression only makes it harder on you.

    I think if your husband agreed not to masturbate, he shouldn't have. Have you told him about your depression? I advise, if you haven't already done so, that you tell him about it, that you know it's affecting you, and that you need his help. You both made the baby, you're both going to raise him, so you both need to help each other. This is when the seeds of discontent can get started. I don't mean to scare you, but don't ignore this.

    If you need more information right now, see this link:

    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546
     
    #4 Silverfox, Dec 15, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2013
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  5. AGFUNK

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    I gave birth 6 weeks ago. He knows about it. Its pretty mild compared to most. I don't want to hurt our son or myself. Its more a horrible feeling of hopelessness rarely and just being overwhelmed, sad and extremely angry. I will be getting help but there will be no medication. I've been on a lot and refuse to take it again. I can't bottle feed. my son doesn't like formula. We tried once and he doesn't like it. Plus that would just kill my milk supply. I love breastfeeding.

    I suppose it could be affecting a little how I think about this but whether I was depressed or not I would still be pissed about it since he promised.

    Hopefully it will get better when our guests leave. I just don't understand why he doesn't think it's a problem. Sex is a big part in our relationship and I don't like it ti be taken lightly.
     
  6. Silverfox

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    OK, sorry if I came on too strong. My reaction has to do with both my experience with my own Bipolar disorder, and my profession. It seems you understand what you're experiencing.
     
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  7. ReddHott

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    You are overthinking this. And you know what? If you want to have sex, do it. I would try to not make a bunch of noise, but you are in your own home.
     
  8. lbushwalker

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    ^ What Red just said, after all it is what couple do right?
     
  9. AGFUNK

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    I didn't think you came on too strong. I'm also bipolar and completely understand the point where I need medication.

    We can't have sex until they leave. If we had a bedroom then maybe but we don't. We live in a studio. Its just one room and a bathroom.
     
    #9 AGFUNK, Dec 15, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2013
  10. ReddHott

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    That sounds awful. Whose idea was it to have them crowd in with you? If you don't need help with the baby send them home.
     
  11. ReddHott

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    Or better yet, have hubby send them home.
     
  12. AGFUNK

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    They came all the way from texas to see the baby. We're not going to kick them out because we haven't had time for sex. As I said in the first post that we both invited them to stay here so we could all spend more time with them as they are only here for three days. Instead of having to spend money on a hotel room and put in extra travel time to and from the hotel. It just wasn't worth it.

    Also I want to know why you think I'm over reacting peeps. I'd like to heard an explanation of why you think I am so I can understand and maybe see this in a different light.
     
  13. ReddHott

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    I never said over reacting. I said over thinking. You are making a big deal out of a wank in the shower. I doubt your husband thinks of it as lying cheating or even sex. Its just a thing guys do in the shower. Are you giving him the third degree over it? Need to chill a bit and realize your hormones are still skewed.

    Next baby, everyone stays at a hotel who doesn't normally live with you.
     
  14. Silverfox

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    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
     
    #14 Silverfox, Dec 15, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2013
  15. lbushwalker

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    Time for some gentle sidestepping.
    Red I tried to contact you but this new software has some bugs & issues with the Apple environment so although I typed the message there is no Send or Post button!
     
  16. ReddHott

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    Why? Did I do something wrong? I just answered the OP question....
     
  17. AGFUNK

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    The problem isn't about our visitors being here so get off that. I love that they are here.

    And no not every man jerks off in the shower. My husband never does unless we are visiting someone. We tell each other everything.
     
  18. ReddHott

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    Ok. So dump him. Divorce his ass. Is that what you want to hear?

    You told us the story. If the house guests aren't the problem why tell us about it?

    Tell us what you want to hear, 'mkay?
     
  19. AGFUNK

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    You are rather rude. If you didn't read the entire post don't bother answering.
     
  20. lbushwalker

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    Red, please contact me as I IT issues I cannot you………please, yeah like please?
    AGF, stay around ok?