relationship help. **trouble with girlfriend**

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by januarylove, May 23, 2011.

  1. januarylove

    januarylove New Member

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    I'm told I am to blame for all the relationship problems my girlfriend & I have. She upset most of the time and never ever affectionate.

    Reason being is because of my past. I had a "serious relationship" as she called it for 2 years before I met my current girlfriend.

    But my current girlfriend also had a serious boyfriend of 2 years too.. so I really don't know why my past bothers her so much.

    I didn't do anything crazy or bad when I was with my ex. It was just a normal first relationship. However my girlfriend goes crazy over the thought of my past. She thinks I was some kind of really bad guy that did stupid things. When really I did not. I honestly can say I'm a really nice guy.

    I'm getting really tired of my girlfriend getting affected by her stupid mind and always bringing up my past. Its been almost 2 years since I been with this girlfriend and she still manages to complain about stuff that happened 4 years ago, a time when I didn't even know her.

    Lately she's been breaking up with me all the time, being really cold and mean. She doesn't appreciate anything I do.I spend a whole weekend with her and treat her good and she just doesn't see that. She breaks up with me and the first thing she does will take me off her facebook and remove our photo album. She won't delete it just put it on private. Then the next day well be dating again.

    I know she loves me because she tells me that she's this way because she loves me. I just wished she could show it in a nice healthy way. I don't know why my past bothers her so much. I always remind her that, I'm happier now than I was then.

    I want to fix this with her because I know she's a really nice person because I've seen it. I'm fed up with her attitude lately though. Sometimes I wanna just break up with her but I don't know what id do without her. Specially since she says, if we break up, she won't even miss me or cry over me.

    Can somebody please help.
     
  2. Kermit

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    Dude, have you considered maybe he does have a mental disorder? I'm not trying to put her down but it sounds like a bipolar or some sort of Borderline Personality Disorder. How you describe her sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder (be sure to read my siggy) but on a serious note if she is BDP theres help you can get her so she can be the really nice person you've seen buried inside. If not...make her part of your past, i know it'll hurt but think how lovely you'll feel once you find that person that appreciates you and treats you right.
     
    #2 Kermit, May 23, 2011
    Last edited: May 23, 2011
  3. januarylove

    januarylove New Member

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    She did have anger problem issues when she was a little girl
     
  4. Kermit

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    http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/borderline-personality-disorder-symptomsYes, i would recommend (though i'm not sure how she'd react) in getting her evaluated in a Mental Health Center. Cost here is 65 dollars not sure there but it might do her a world of good. Remind her that they won't lock her up. I've been around the psychiatric block enough to know they won't commit you unless you're a danger to yourself or others (she doesn't sound like 10-13 material, that's a court order to involuntarily commit someone) but they will make recommendations perhaps outpatient that includes medication. As for recomendations right now, look up Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder to see if she fits the symptoms. The information is widely available on the internet.
     
    #4 Kermit, May 23, 2011
    Last edited: May 23, 2011
  5. januarylove

    januarylove New Member

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    Why do you think she should visit one?
     
  6. Mittimer

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    I think you two need to just split. Cut your losses and move on. She's more trouble then she's worth and you two are sounding like you're in middle school, not adults.
     
  7. Kermit

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    Another good bit of advice Mittens
     
  8. Kermit

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    I'm taking a shot in the dark really, in hopes you two can patch this up
     
  9. januarylove

    januarylove New Member

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    Easier said than done. I kinda wanna teach her a lesson and give her a taste of her own medicine
     
  10. Barbwire

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    Yeahbut, that's the sort of thing a high school kid would do, not an adult, right?
     
  11. januarylove

    januarylove New Member

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    Yeah you guys are right.
     
  12. Kermit

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    Doesn't always work (believe me i've tried well half heartedly) it just serves to antagonize and this doesn't sound like the basis of a healthy relationship, probably best to cut her off, deal with the heart ache and hook up with a nice girl who will treat you right :)
     
  13. Alwayslearningsex

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    I had a relationship that wasn't the happiest because of similar reasons so sorry here I'll spare you BS and pretty speeches and get to the point, hopefully you may appreciate it.

    Walk away ! ...... I should have spared yself years of crap and break sooner and from what you wrote this is not the same but it has the same feel.
    So seriously unless you convince her to quit doing her stupid shit and live with the present just leave.

    You may not be able to change her and this is not what it should be about but you can change your life.
     
  14. nurseharley

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    this girl is incredibly insecure with herself, not to mention i don't think she's very mature. you need to end the relationship and let her fix whatever personal problems she has. until she can stop being so insecure, she won't be able to have a healthy relationship which is unfair to the both of you.

    side note: she will miss you and cry when you leave. that's exactly why she said she wouldnt.
     
  15. AGFUNK

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    Honestly from your posts it sounds like you both have issues and should both stay out of relationships until you both figure out what you want, fix your problems and grow up.
     
  16. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    Someone help me out here, is this what they call in the industry "passive-agressive" behavior?

    Stick a fork in it pal. It's done.
     
  17. januarylove

    januarylove New Member

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    Alright so I told her how she should change and she just kept bringing up my ex alllll night. Right after we had sex, she just kept saying how she's so hurt because of my ex and she hates that I went to concerts with my ex.

    I haven't been or seen my ex in way over 2 years. She's far outta my mind..

    So I told her, I was breaking up with her and how I don't want her anymore and she's crazy and all this stuff...

    She started telling me how I will never find anybody as beautiful as her and that she's the best and she's like jackpot to me. She pretty much just told me that without her I'm a worthless piece of crap and that I will never find anybody else.

    I then told her that, there are way better girls out there and that I've seen them and just never had the guts to talk to them...

    THIS PISSED her off. So now she never wants to get back with me and she thinks I'm worthless and says she regrets having sex..

    I know I probably sound stupid complaining on the internet but I have nobody else to tell this to and I need as much support as I can get to help move on away from this girl.

    Perhaps its her health causing this because she eats nothing but junk food. Pepsi for breakfast. Pepsi before bed. Chips and chocolate and frozen means in between.

    I did look up Borderline Personality Disorder and she does fit all the symptoms.

    I'm just so hurt by this because I can truly say I love this girl. When she's not crazy, she's the most amazing girl ever. And it hurts so so bad, to know that if we ever broke up. I would be just another boy...nothing special...

    :'(
     
  18. Alwayslearningsex

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    From reading your last one, my take is you have more reasons to celebrate than to complain, you got out of a serious situation.
    I congratulate you in fact. Don't move too fast for the next one,
    let it happen on its own sort of.
     
  19. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    Sounds like its for the best, but trying to do psychological diagnosis from the internet when you're a lay person really doesn't have much value.
     
  20. januarylove

    januarylove New Member

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    Any more advice guys?