Hi all. First time post so be kind and realistic ) Ive been with my wife almost 12 years, married for 8. Sex has always been reasonably good for us both, but due to other commitments and stress causing issues of late it has got less frequent than I would like. A couple of weeks ago she told me she had totally gone off it, so I started googling loss of libido etc to see if I could find a way to help her (and help me obviously). We discussed the issue in great depth and detail, openly and honestly. Unfortunately for me ( I cannot let it slip from my mind. The only thing I can think of 24 hrs a day is ways to try and help my wife and also the hurt I feel from being rejected. This negatively impacts me in a way that now I spend almost 24 hours per day with an erection. No masturbation helps - within 30 mins, back it comes! You may find this extremely amusing, as I'm sure I would if you were telling me in a forum post.... But to me, it is so uncomfortable, I ache and the pain around my prostate is sometimes unbearable. Also, there is then the joke of trying to hide it!!! I know my wife is mostly satisfied when we make love. I also am 100% positive she loves me, she fancies me still, she is completely happy with our relationship and I am sure I can rule out that she is having an affair - so no problem with any of the issues there. She says she feels unsexy and unattractive and feels that is why she may have a low sex drive at the moment. I have spoiled her wrotten with compliments, saucy text messages, love notes left in her coat pocket etc. I have catagorically told her exactly how attractive I find her and what she does to me and how I so still want her after all these years. After a lengthy discussion, and plenty of suggestions and recommendations on my part based upon research on the internet(because I ultimately want the best for HER), today I took her shopping. She was properly measured up for lingerie (for her, not me... so sensual and sexy rather than crutchless tacky knickers etc), and after a discussion weighing up the benefits of it, I talked her into accepting a vibrator which I then went to purchase for her. As per usual though, all the promises in the world.... nope, bath, bed, too tired and not in mood, sleep. So here I am, work in the morning, several nights without sleep, constant erection that just will NOT disappear no matter what I do, stressed and getting upset..... Please someone tell me the following answers: 1) If my wife wont even try the vibrator out or atleast accept the chance for me to make her horny, what's left to try? 2) Why am I constantly ready, knowing the answer is no. Please help - tonight I have said I am sleeping on the sofa so I dont spend the whole night thinking of her and getting absolutely no sleep.