Really need some hellllp

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Dentro, Sep 27, 2011.

  1. Dentro

    Dentro New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2011
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Alberta
    Hey everyone!
    This is my first post. I do plan to go and introduce myself but I really need to get this off my chest asap. It has really started to bring my self esteem down etc..
    I apologize if this is drawn out a little bit but I just need to explain. Lol.

    Alright so, I am 22 years old. Female.
    So I have been having sex since I was 15 years old, and not once have I ever cum. Not only that, but I also havent cum from oral or from someone touching me. I am the only one that can do it. And I can only do it if I have clitoral stimulation. I know that other girls have this issue as well, but this is still very disconcerting to me. :(
    I enjoy sex so much. It does feel good, and I crave it as well. But it is the closeness I think I crave the most. I have a bf, and he is amazing. I love him so much, but it is really disappointing that I cant cum for him :(
    I really dont want to have to go and see some sex doctor, but I also dont want to spend the rest of my life not cumming.
    I dont really know what kind of advice anyone can give me, but I thought I would post anyway because you never know. I also love watching other girls squirt, and I really really want to be able to do that.
    This is all very confusing to me, and I have NO idea what to do. I am so sexually attracted to my boyfriend, but I just dont know what the hell is wrong with me. It is like even when we have sex and I do touch myself, I dont feel it :S like what the hell is that??? It is like my clitoris is numb or some crap. SO annoying. I just feel terrible and like something is wrong with me.
    So any help or anything would be great!! Thank you so much for reading this.
    :)
     
  2. shortylikesitrough

    shortylikesitrough New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Michigan
    Hi, welcome.
    I'm actually having the same problem, only I can't do it myself either. Maybe you need g-spot stimulation. Do you have any toys? If not, I'm sure everyone else will recommend you invest in at least one. You can let me know how it goes ;) In all honesty, the most luck I've had is really telling my bf what I want. Tell him what feels good, and to keep doing it until you say stop. It probably won't be a hot sex session, but just for figuring out your body, its a good place to start. And also, think about what you do when you get yourself off. Try to do the same while having sex, or have him do it. Its all a matter of experimentation.
    Good luck!
     
  3. Mobius

    Mobius New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2007
    Messages:
    160
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    netherlands
    There are women who have problem cumming because they can't concentrate. For some women it is usually a fantasise game and tbhey really have to fantasise to cum. So when that is disrupted like when thinking of the door being locked our if you're pleasuring him enough it can get out of you're grasp again again and again. So my advice is try to relax try to think only about the pleasure and you're fantasy en really try to enjoy it.
     
  4. Beach

    Beach New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2009
    Messages:
    858
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    FLA
    Best advice I have is be sure to check back here..many a smart lady hang out here and will help.

    From a guys perspective..having an orgasm with s.o. can be difficult. I believe a key is becoming a master being orgasmic solo.
    I don't believe u mentioned a vibrator ? Pretty much a must have for femalesexual exploration.
    Nothing wrong w having the bf take control of that while having sex either.

    Female ejaculation is a completely different orgasm again best accomplished solo before sharing.
    A search here on the forums should shed a lot of light on the how tos..
     
  5. paintedblue

    paintedblue Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2011
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Home
    Being able to climax by yourself is a good sign. At least we know its not a physical issue that is preventing the almighty "O" from occurring. Sounds to me like this is a mental block that is keeping you on lockdown.

    I too think that more solo practice might be just the ticket. Figure out how to make yourself cum..then, pass that information onto your BF. Dont be shy about it either. Trust me, you have the ability to get instant feedback and you are finding it difficult.. imagine how hard it is for him!
    We have all had those encounters where we are screaming in directions in our heads because our partner isnt even close to "the spot", but we keep quiet for fear of ruining the mood.
    However.. frustration is contagious. Speak up.. let him know what you want, and also let him know that he too can tell you what he wants.
    I'm certain your SO will appreciate the direction, because the hotter he makes you, the better it will be for him.

    Another trick you may want to try is to retrain your body.
    Masturbate in front of him.. bring yourself to the brink of orgasm.. then allow him to finish you off. You mind will relearn the process, and hopefully equate his touch with the reward. Just a thought..

    Oh, and keep us informed on how it goes!
     
  6. dukefan

    dukefan New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2011
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    nc
    I know this probably sounds too simple, RELAX. Sometimes we take sex way too seriously, and overthinking can cause issues. It's sorta like watching the clock a the end of the day, those last ten minutes take hours. It's all in her head. Like the others have said learn your body yourself, then dont be afraid to tell your boyfriend what you need.

    Trust me, from a guy's perspective we want to hear and know what you like. Good luck, and welcome to the forum
     
  7. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2010
    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Netherlands
    Try being on top. In that way you control the thrust and the friction of the sexual act. Hopefully in this way you can bring yourself to climax.
     
  8. shortylikesitrough

    shortylikesitrough New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Michigan
    I had some luck recently, not sure if you saw my thread or not. Have your guy eat you out and finger you at the same time, making sure he hits your g-spot and clit. It feels amazing. A little longer, and I think I would have orgasmed. I definitely came. Again, good luck!