Really confused, my head is spinning

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by fothermucker, Jul 5, 2010.

  1. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    Not really sure where to start with this. I know that I am confused as hell, and a little pissed off at the same time.

    To start, my 4th of July meant being on call for the company I work for. I only had one call, and spent most of the rest of the day at home. Throughout the day, I was constantly dropping hints to my fiancee about wanting to create some real fireworks after all the local fireworks shows, if you are catching my drift. We do have a 2 year old daughter, and are in a weird living situation. I may get to that in a little bit.

    So our daughter starts getting tired, and takes herself to bed. My fiancee had been taking pictures all night of the fireworks shows. Once our daughter is out for the night, my fiancee seems more worried about her pictures than anything I had said to her all day, until I said something about it. Then she comes into the bedroom, basically wakes up our daughter in the process (again, weird living situation), which seems like was just another reason to blow me off. This has become a regular thing, where I drop hints throughout the day, and get blown off. I have been seeing that it is causing problems in the relationship lately, but it seems like she thinks its normal. I have tried talking to her about it, several times, and always seem to get nowhere. I have tried and tried, and nothing changes. It seems like she just wants it to stay this way.

    About the weird living situation, it may take a bit to explain. We had lived in a town about an hour away from where we are now for about 5 years, I had a decent job, and everything was seeming good for a while. I ended up getting laid off about a year and a half ago, so we basically had nothing to live on except for the little bit of savings we had, and the ridiculous unemployment payments. I tried starting my own business doing computer repairs, but that failed miserably due to over saturation of people who think they are computer techs leaving those of us who are actually good in a bad position, and being in a small town in a bad economy didn't help either. Things progressively got worse, until some friends in a larger metro area offered to let us stay with them until I could get back to work, and we could get a place of our own. I am between paychecks right now, and we are looking at apartments when I have some off time, but for the time being, the 3 of us are crammed into one bedroom.

    The problem is this had started several months ago, before we even made the move down here. She seemed to get to the point where she makes it sound like it's "just sex". I am really getting to my wits end with this, since it seems like a lot if we actually do anything sexual more often than once every 2 weeks. Anybody have any ideas of what could be going on? I know when I got laid off, and had next to nothing coming in money wise, I became depressed. That seems to have changed since I have gotten to work, but it seems like something else is up, and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to get to the bottom of it.:(
     
  2. Hot Wheels

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    Mmmm....communication breakdown....and it's difficult when the other party won't come to the table too..:ugh
    I feel for you......Ive had times in the past when Ive felt the same....and learnt that it gets even worse if you try and push the issue;)
    I ended up just not initiating anything, and just waited for her to bring the subject up, which eventually she did, and then we dealt with it.....
    I wish I could offer something a bit more constructive mate, but what worked for me may not work for you:ugh
     
  3. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    I am almost at a point where I just want to give up, but I love her way too much to just walk away. I am really at a loss, since everything seems fine, until it comes to sex. I really don't know what I should do, whether it be wait it out until she is ready to talk, or keep trying to get her to talk.
     
  4. igor

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    It sure sounds to me like a stressful situation, with your living conditions and that you are still trying to get settled. Talk to her and don't panic yet.
     
  5. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    This kind of thing has been going on for around 5 or 6 months, and progressively got worse over the last couple. It may just be stress induced, since our living situation is very rough, and money has been very tight. I guess I will find out in the next week or two, and I really hope that's all it is. I really hope I am wrong and that it is nothing more than stress.
     
  6. Barbwire

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    It does sound like stress is causing the problems. I know from personal experience that at the most stressful time in my life, I shut down in the sex department. We were down to making love once a month, if that.

    Hang in there FM, better times are coming. :)
     
  7. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    It seems that things are starting to look up. We will be moving into our new apartment in about a week, which is a big relief to all of us. We are getting tired of the house we are in, since the people here are good friends, but completely different since we have been staying with them for a little bit. They try to tell us how to raise our daughter, even though I think we have been doing it just fine for the 2 years she has been in this world. They try to control our spending, get pissed off at us if we don't want to eat what they cooked, tried giving us a "curfew", and the list goes on. The "curfew" thing wouldn't bother me, but I sometimes work late.

    There is also the issue of the friends mother who is so preachy that we can't stand it. She expects us to sit there and pray to a god that we don't, and frankly won't, believe in. I don't want to really get into everything that goes on here that we don't agree with, since it gets my blood boiling just thinking about it.

    Either way, I keep telling her one more week and we are out of here. And if we never hear from them again, at this point my thoughts on that are "oh well, no big loss".
     
  8. Hot Wheels

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    Goddam:eek.....√°fter reading about your situation FM......it's no wonder that things went downhill......:ugh
    I'm sure things will look up quickly once you guys get out and into your own place......good luck mate:D



    Oh', and the post problem seems to have resolved itself....let us know if you have any more problems ok...
     
    #8 Hot Wheels, Jul 9, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2010
  9. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    Trust me, it has been rough, and I think one of the larger contributors of stress. My fiancee had actually talked with her grandmother yesterday (who was quite pissed about some things going on, and is loaded:D), and she offered to loan us money so that we can get our move in date adjusted a little sooner, so that we can get out of this situation. I was really hoping it wouldn't come down to that, but she offered, and said that after all we have been through, shouldn't have to deal with this shit on top of it.

    By the way, HW, just so you know, there should be a little check box at the top of posts and an option at the bottom of the thread to delete the post. It will make it look a little cleaner if it is deleted instead of just edited. Atleast that is the way the other vBulletin forum I visit is set up. You may be able to delete it from your mod control panel as well. Just trying to help out, like I said I would via PM.:p Also, if I see something like that happen again, I will be sure to post up about it or let someone know.
     
  10. HardRocker

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    Are you talking about the test post I left? I moved that one to the Trash Can a little while ago.
     
  11. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    That's the one. I was just trying to help HW a bit, since moderating is still a bit new to him. Thought you had said something in the post about deleting it, instead of just editing it blank.
     
  12. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    Just wanted to post an update to what was going on.

    We got some of our stuff moved into the apartment a week ago, although most of it is still at her grandmothers house, about an hour to an hour and a half away from here. The first night here, I was tired as hell, since I had to get up at around 5:30AM for paperwork, and then worked til around 9PM. After that, while I was on my way home, a tire blew out on my work truck, and the spare was already in use. So an hour of sitting on the side of the freeway, literally 5 minutes away from home, for a guy to come out and put a new tire on the wheel so I can get home. Needless to say, I was exhausted. Got home, got to sleep, and slept in the next day, since I didn't have to be to work til 10AM (atleast that's when I start my "on-call" time). I get home from work a little earlier, our daughter goes to sleep a little early, and its on like a couple of rabbits in spring. It has been a daily thing since we got moved, even to the point that I was working in the neighborhood the other day, came home for lunch, and got a quickie instead.:D She has even been trying to help get a little more creative with what we are doing, so it seems that things are back to normal (if you can really call our sex drives normal:p). Thanks for all the advice everyone, and I will try to get into a little more detail later.:tup
     
  13. Dragon_Fire

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    Great news. :D
     
  14. Barbwire

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    I'm very happy for ya FM, although I'm a bit disappointed as well. I was hoping I'd have to fill in for your wife when you were needing some sexy time and she wasn't into it. :dgrin
     
  15. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    Damn! Why do I always have to miss out on the good stuff?:p
     
  16. Reflect169

    Reflect169 New Member

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    i love happy endings :)
     
  17. fothermucker

    fothermucker New Member

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    If I were single, after seeing that little video of yours, I might be offering you a happy ending too.:p
     
  18. Barbwire

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  19. Reflect169

    Reflect169 New Member

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