Rape fantasy

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by decuss524, May 2, 2008.

  1. decuss524

    decuss524 New Member

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    I was talking to a girl about this and she said she had a rape fantasy. Like not acually get raped but you know, that kind of style sex. Getting grabbed from behind and thrown down and restrained and choked etc. Any take on this? Anyone tried it and have any suggestions to throw in?
     
  2. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I've noticed that when guys bring up subjects like they'll always go to pains to make clear that it's not actually their own sexual turn on. They're just being considerate lovers and trying to accomodate their gf, any problems are hers. It just smacks of childishness the equivalent of "doctor my friend has this strange rash what should he do"

    How about as a starting point you tell us your opinions,and maybe ask yourself some questions such as, do you have any moral issues with this? is it just feeding some nasty urge?. Maybe then someone might feel it worthwhile to have a dialogue with you about it.
     
  3. decuss524

    decuss524 New Member

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    "Suggestions to throw in" As in yes i am fully for this and i would like to know if any one has tried it and if they could give any suggestions as to what works and doesn't. I thought it was somewhat obvious that it was ok with me and i wanted to try it, idk, i don't see any other reason for posting her... you don't have to reply in a rude many, if you don't have any input please don't reply. You should do anything if it pleasurable for you and your partner, society should have no effect on you...
     
  4. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    From a personal perspective I do not advocate rape scene role plays or violent sex. You question poses many concerns as it could potentially lead to her death or serious physical injury. My only reason for responding is to provide you with my opinion on the safety issues that I see and how you might be able to minimize the risk to her.

    Your first step is you will need to clarify with your girlfriend exactly what she means by 'rape' fantasy. From my own personal experience the word 'rape' tends to used when a woman is unfamiliar with BDSM practices and will use the 'rape' to actually mean a BDSM scenario involving Domination and Submission. In a bondage and discipline scenario you would dominate and get he to submit. You might even tie her down, as in using bondage.

    There are several major issues with such a scene. First you need to ensure that she cannot be injured either physically or emotionally. I will first address the physical aspects of your scene. From what you are describing throwing, choking, and restraining such scenarios can serious injury or even cause death. It is something you do not want to even try. In the event she was injured or died from it there is a strong chance you would be brought up and convicted on some type of criminal charge. My guess manslaughter if she died or aggravated assault if she was only injured.

    Second if you are going to use restraints make sure that they are not too uncomfortable for her. Make sure she is comfortable with how much restraint is being used. My recommendation would be to use the commercially available restraints that you can buy from many online sex toys stores. If she asks to be removed from them then you would have to immediately let her go.

    Finally after talking with her and clarifying what she exactly means then you will have to look at the overall plan, identify where there are chances of injury, and other points that may be risky from an emotional standpoint then find ways to make your scene safe.

    Now in regard to emotional safety, any BDSM or BDSM like scenario needs to have a safe word. A safe word is a word, usually nonsensical or a foreign word that cannot be confused with the planned scenario that is used to stop the scenario when one of the participants becomes uncomfortable with it. Once the safe word is used the scenario / role play comes to an end any restraints that are used are immediately unfastened. Furthermore the scene that is being role played needs to be something that the both of you are comfortable with and it should not be 'forced' upon your partner. If she is not comfortable with the 'scene' that you are role playing or any aspect of it then it must not be included.

    BDSM activities can be enjoyable provided both partners are in agreement without pressure, coercion, manipulation, or deceit. The point where role playing 'crosses the line' from a sexual activity to a criminal act in my opinion is when one person does not consent to the activity or withdraws it, changes their mind. It is my hope that any planning of such a scenario will take her physical and emotional safety into consideration.
     
  5. Bluesy

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    Very important advice to heed (the rest of his post is excellent, as well). There are a fair number of accidental deaths that occur every year from play choking...unless you're a medical expert, there's no way to know whether the placement of your hands or amount of pressure exerted are going to accidentally crush the trachea or induce cardiac arrest. There's just too much than can go wrong. Same thing with throwing people around (i.e. potential head injury), unless you're in an empty room with mats on the floor.

    Don't let her persuade you to take lethal risks during sex. Spending the next 10-20 in prison isn't worth the transient thrill.

    Discuss in advance exactly what should and should not happen during the "rape", grab and drag/carry her to the bed or sofa (move tables and other hard items out of the way first), and decide on a "safe word" to implement in case things become too overwhelming or uncomfortable for her.

    I hope others will share their experience/add some input, too. Be safe and have fun!
     
  6. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Oh I'm sorry am I not being 100% supportive of your desire for rape roleplay? how tiresome of me. I do actually have some input to make but my apologies If I seem rude.

    Well my first piece of input is how little thought you seem to have put into this, apart from this rather petulant sense of entitlement to do whatever your little heart desires without even stopping for a moment to consider, why you want to do it? and maybe even is this something you should want to do? some people might consider you should seek therapy. Did it even cross your mind that some women on here might have an issue with this?.

    That's a very interesting notion. Is it your own piece of wisdom? or did you read it somewhere and think "gee thats handy I can indulge just about every sordid desire I have, now I've got this catch all excuse".

    Finally I know you should take statements that people make in here at face value, but I just flat out don't believe you about your girlfriend, I think this is your own turn on and want to get off on discussing it, but didn't want to demean yourself so you put it on your girlfriend.

    Wholey unintential I'm sure, fantasy imitating real life, what with it actually being the woman asking for it.
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I find no reason to disqualify the OP's sincerity in his post. We're not here to second-guess and arbitrarily shoot down members' threads because of our own, heretofore unfounded, perceptions.

    Many women have a secret fantasy of being "forced" upon. And many women share this fantasy with their friends. It has come up quite often on these forums with a good percentage acknowledging their thoughts on the matter.

    It is a fantasy that is played out, not by a stranger, but by someone in whom they have developed trust (ie - SO, husband). It doesn't always even entail 'deadly actions' such as choking, etc. Usually, it is more along the grab, overpower and restrain actions. As mentioned earlier, boundaries are set and there is a 'safe word' that will be the ultimate "stop".

    There's also been much insight into WHY some women enjoy the 'forced sex' scenario. Quite compelling, in my humble opinion.
     
  8. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I'm afraid I can't recognise anything that could be considered insight in decuss's post. For that matter anything that might show he's given any serious thought to the scenario He is suggesting. Even though he's claiming that it's the woman asking for it

    As for rape fantasies in women, someone told me once it's a sort of defence mechanism, that when women are raped to avoid serious injury they have a physical response, ie the vagina will lubricate. The body lubricates the vagina by stimulating sexual arousal. So some women's fantasies are just a play on these hard wired self preservation instincts.

    But sense we're talking about the reasons why women fantasise about rape lets talk about the reason some men do. In Bosnia organised mass rape was commited on a huge scale. Men will tell you that rape is abhorant to them, but that conflict was full of incidents of women being gang raped by their friends and neighbours. As soon as the war came and the old rules didn't apply any longer mankind just reverted to its instincts.

    So eveytime some one in here says that they're being restrained by society, that society is repressing them or placing arbitrary rules on them. I just think that God for society.
     
  9. Bluesy

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    Very interesting...that one's new to me. This may be controversial, but here's another explanation: Sometimes former victims of sexual abuse/sexual assault develop a predilection for enacting sexually violent fantasies as a way of coping with the resultant psychological trauma. So IF a woman has been a victim and never received counseling, she may turn to sado-masochistic practices because, on an unconscious level, it makes the abuse she suffered more palatable to the psyche.

    However, you'll find plenty of BDSM aficionados who will swear up, down and sideways that they've never suffered any form of abuse over the course of their lives. So, ostensibly, it isn't always a coping mechanism. In which case, what's the appeal? Lots of interesting theories on that. One that comes to mind is that rape fantasies appeal to women who've been sexually repressed for a portion of their lives; being the unwilling victim allows them to experience raw, primal sex sans guilt. *shrugs* I used to have a rape fantasy...and then it lost its appeal...I have no idea why. Maybe it's because I'm more attuned to my sexuality now :shrug
     
  10. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Okay - this thread is not going to be allowed to tread into the waters of atrocious and illegal behavior. We are all in agreement that actual rape is wrong. And it doesn't have to go that route, if everyone remains mature enough to stay on topic.

    In much the same way a man might desire to have his wife/girlfriend dress up as a high school cheerleader for a fantasy (and we don't condemn him for subconsciously desiring to actually commit an illegal act), so the same holds true for women who find themselves thinking about this fantasy.

    And I might add that the OP is correct in assuming that if two people agree that something is going to be pleasurable for them, they should not feel intimidated as to what others might think. I once had a Pastor who said, "What you and your husband do behind closed doors is YOUR business - no one else's".

    So here's the topic:
     
  11. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    If a man had come on here and posted a message saying he would like to act out a fantasy rape. I wouldn't actually have a problem with it.I wouldn't assume its something that he desired to do in real life and I'd actually be very interested to hear his thoughts. decuss has gone a different route.

    Rose you stated that some women fantasise about rape and that is true but it's also true that men fantasise about rape as well. So how is it fair to talk about one and not the other.

    If you're going to talk about rape fantasies, then you have to at least touch on the moral aspects of it. How is he going to feel acting the part of a rapist for example?.
     
  12. UtherPendragon

    UtherPendragon New Member

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  13. decuss524

    decuss524 New Member

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    Thanks yorkiesmurf for that really good info. I will definitely watch out for the safety of my SO, definitely set up boundaries in this one if we decide to follow through with it. Thanks again for the great input.



    sarah_rslp I really do not get what your getting at. You say I have no consideration for my partner or myself on this, yet i decided to post and ask for advice. Asking for advice on a situation means you do care and are not going to jump into it. Also that is not a quote that i use to justify my self although you did make me laugh by saying that, its to mean that you should base things on pleasure in the bedroom, for you and your partner, emotional and physically, you should not conform one way or another in order to appeal to society. I like the quote about the pastor. And sarah_rslp im sorry if you got the impression that I just wanted to force my girlfriend into this. I said that i did want to try it with her, you seem to have gotten sidetracked that a woman brought up such a fantasy and that that couldn't be right. Well i assure you it is, and I find the whole thing interesting and i think i would like to try it, that is why i posted to get feedback and suggestions, because i want it to work out nicely.


    Thanks for all the helpful info so far :)
     
  14. CutiePie25

    CutiePie25 New Member

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    The ONLY way I can come by masturbation is by thinking about a rape type fantasy. I don't know why, and I don't really care, all I know is that that is what gets me off.

    So, thinking about how much this fantasy turned me on, my SO and I decided to try some light bondage and dom/sub activites. We went and bought some beginner bondage straps and he tied me up and I loved it. That might be a good way for you all to introduce this into your sex life. We went for the beginner stuff, because while it worked well in my fantasy world neither of us were absolutely sure we'd like it in our actual sex life.

    Start slow, see if you both like it. If you do, just progress from there. :)
     
  15. Dreama

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    I like a bit of rough sex, but I guess that's not entirely the same thing. I mean, sure we basically do some of the things one might do to simulate 'rape' (not choking or hurting, but holding down and such) because it's fun, not because of the rape thing. Rape is a really scary concept to me, and I'd never wish to find out what it's actually like. But it may just be that she likes rough sex, not necessarily having fantisies about being raped.
     
  16. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Does everybody think that encouraging a barely articulate 18 year old in his rape fantasies to be really appropriate?

    I've read some of decusses other posts ,and I don't believe for a second he's got a gf that he's simply trying to make happy. He's just here looking for masturbation material. It's true women do occassionally have rape fantasies, but when you state a fact like that you need to make crystal clear what sort of context it's in.

    Anywho I think this whole thread is a new low for this forum.
     
  17. decuss524

    decuss524 New Member

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    Ok sarah seriously why are you attacking me? There is no reason for it. If you do not like my post or do not believe that I want to make my SO happy then by all means please just dont respond. It is not that hard. And as for barley articulate I am going to honors college on a full ride thank you. Im here to ask advice and try to give some back when i can. I am not sure if you feel a need to attack newbies but people like you are what destroy forums, it is suppose to be a place to talk about anything and have advice and suggestions given, not hide from people like you. Its a fantasy forum!!!! There is no low or high, its personal things. Masturbation material? Haha with everything that is on the internet these days, i really dont think i would need to look for it in a forum. So please just do not respond to my post since you have not given me one bit of useful information once, you have insulted me and discredited my advice when it was more than you offered. Maybe you should go to a be the one website if you feel that age is a matter.
     
  18. cook74

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    Great response mate ;) I hope she takes it on board but I doubt it...

    If you really have issues that need to be discussed then by all means you should have every right to post what you want. Or if you feel that you have information that you need to give to another poster seeking advice then you should. But there will always be people that either misunderstand or just don't like what you post and you have to give them the right to reply as well.

    Don't let it get to you mate, keep posting. :tup
     
  19. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I believe we can trust that the subject will stay on-track now. ;)

    Rose :rose
     
  20. Joe

    Joe
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    *Peeks around the corner*

    Is it safe to come out now? ;)







    No, I don't mean "come out" that way....:ugh