[Ask a Girl] Questions about flaccid-ness.

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Jayce, Apr 9, 2011.

  1. Jayce

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    So this may sound like a ridiculous story, but it still kind of haunts me. One time about a year and a half ago my ex and I were fooling around. I had to go to the bathroom but at this point we were nearly done, as I had already gone and I was performing oral on her. To my surprise, she flipped around to give me more oral and happened to find me going flaccid. She seemed to take a little offense to this, as if I wasn't turned on by her. It was so embarrassing even when I explained to her what was up. I mean, I was certainly done, but I was still trying to give her another oral chapter before things ended. That said, the bladder walls were pushing harder and I just lost my erection even though I was still heavily turned on.

    Fast forward, we broke up. I began dating someone new last month. We haven't gotten involved sexually yet but things are going really, really well. I'm not somebody to sleep with someone I'm not deeply involved with so it does make me believe our time will come.

    Any time I even think about sex, it just makes me think on how much I'll have to concentrate on what's happening and to stay focused, etc. I've even thought about getting some sort of herbal enhancer at the local drug store. I know my issue is entirely mental, but I think if a few rounds go without issue, I'd be okay. Problem is, I don't want to disappoint early on, and the thought of disappointment just makes me nervous.

    That being said, how do you ladies handle something like this? Do you girls look at a flaccid penis and take that as a playful challenge to get it up? Or do you girls take any sort of offense to it as if your other half isn't turned on to you?

    I guess my instinct is that ladies will take offense right away, basically like what happened to me earlier on. It's kind of ironic I feel this way, as I (like many males) have a high libido and get turned on a little too easy, if anything. At this point I'm just curious for some female input. Thanks!
     
  2. Jolay

    Jolay New Member

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    So sorry that you feel bad about this, but things like this happen, to end a relationship over a one time thing is too sad. I say forget about her and enjoy the next relationship your in.
     
  3. Texas_Red

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    Personally I don't think you should be worried. It's not your problem really, and it seems messed up for your ex to have gotten upset. Even with my first ex, I'd go soft while down on her and stuff, and then when it was my turn she'd stroke me or whatever to get me hard again before going down or having sex. It wasn't a matter of not being aroused, just a matter of focus and stimulation.

    In your case having a full bladder didn't help much either, along with having gotten off already once.
     
  4. Untamed

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    I usually take it as a playful challenge.. I enjoy seeing it grow and get hard as I touch and stroke it.

    That being said though.. I myself have taken offense to it in the past.. as I was obviously turned on and rubbing him under his boxers licking his nipples .. and when he just continued to watch TV or whatever it is he's paying more attention to .. when he just stayed soft. I took that as a "Oh he's not interested in me anymore"

    But yeah I understand fully when there are other factors involved.. needing to pee, already being done, or being over tired.
     
  5. Texas_Red

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    See in that situation I'd completely understand a female being upset. Maybe it's just me, but it wouldn't matter what I was doing, if I had a hot girl giving me attention like that, no matter what I'd have a boner. Guaranteed.
     
    #5 Texas_Red, Apr 9, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2011
  6. Untamed

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    Well that's awesome! I like guaranteed boners :p
     
  7. shortNsweet90

    shortNsweet90 New Member

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    i would like to take that as a challenge because if you had already finished and were working on me and got soft i wouldnt be upset because you still took the time to take care of my needs too. i personally like going back a second time if the chance is given. if i was your ex girlfriend i would of told you to go to the bathroom wash your junk a little bit and come back for more because i would definitely be waiting for a second chance
     
  8. lbushwalker

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    Jayce you are sweating the small stuff (sorry lousy pun).
    Heavens help me for all the countless times that this has happened to me.
    A loving caring partner understands these thing and takes the necessary measures (another silly pun) to rectify the situation.
    There might even be times when you get stage fright with a new woman, that is more difficult to handle but given goodwill a good sense of humour and time to relax all such things can be remedied.
    Real ED is something else altogether.
     
  9. Skeptix

    Skeptix New Member

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    Sometimes having to pee doesn't help get rid of the boner...which is frustrating. I mean, have you TRIED peeing with a rock hard erection? It takes a great deal of talent.
     
  10. lbushwalker

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    Not talent........just effort!
     
  11. Jayce

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    Thanks for the input everyone. Keep in mind, we didn't break up because of that. It just became awkward after that because I felt more nervous than relaxed, as if "don't let this happen cause she'll get mad again" type thing, which in reality I think is total bullshit. I mean, I wouldn't question it if a girl just didn't get wet one day. I don't know.. looking back I think we were both on very different maturity levels, which may have aided in the lack of partner comfort in that scenario. Things will be different this time, I'm sure, but it still gave me enough food for thought to at least ask here in my re-discovered adult forum link I dug up out of my favorites. :)
     
  12. evil_noodles

    evil_noodles New Member

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    I've been in this situation once or twice, but the partner was never offended by it- it's part of the game I guess!

    I'd say sorry that you feel this way, but let her go and enjoy the new relationship. It's never good to dwell on the past.
     
  13. Jayce

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    It's not so much that I'm dwelling on the past. We've split up over a year ago. When this thought comes into my head, I don't even give the ex a thought. It's just the IDEA of having that happen again that just plain sucks and kind of freaks me out.

    Regardless, a few situations without an issue would definitely ramp up the confidence again. But in the meantime I was like, ya know, I'll just see what some others on the forum have to say about it. So, here we are. Thanks everyone. :D
     
  14. Jayce

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    Hate to bump this up but there's something that sparked my interest. I was reading a bit on performance anxiety (which is pretty much what I was talking about earlier) and I found this thread on google that was about 3 years old and had hundreds of responses. A popular topic on that thread was a product called Invigo, which is even available on Amazon.

    Users talking about it discussed how it helped them with the same issues I was having. It wasn't full blown viagra but it was enough to help mellow things out and perform better in a lot of cases. From the way I read, it sounded more like a well rounded vitamin who's soul purpose was to help out all areas that effect sexual energy and performance, which users said directly correlated to helping with performance anxiety since it kind of helped out in that department.

    That said, I'm curious to try it out. 48 bucks is a bit to bite down on but at the same time, I'm reading that many positive reviews that I figure... why not?

    Has anybody tried this, or does anybody have anything to add about male enhancement in general?
     
    #14 Jayce, Apr 18, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2011