Question

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by davej, Mar 11, 2011.

  1. davej

    davej Member

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    What Does it feel like to be in love? I ask this because when everytime I go home on leave me and this girl I really like always hang out and have the time of our life. we get along so well. I've know her since I was 16 and we have been close every since. I'm always thinking about her. I just can't get her out of my mind, and I've had this feeling for a long time now. I think we would be together if I wasn't in the military and I also think she is just scared to leave her "bubble". She knows how I feel and I think she is scared to tell me she feels the same way. Hopefully this all makes sense and yall know where I'm coming from.
     
  2. Trond

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    Sounds to me like you know what it's like to be in love :) Why do you ask?
     
  3. davej

    davej Member

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    I Ask because I have never felt like this before about someone and just wasnt sure.
     
  4. Trond

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    In some cases (often when you don't know the person as well as you do) it feels like you're going nuts, which can sometimes lead to problems. But if you have been spending a lot of time together, and you still think about her all the time, that's usually a good sign. It may lead to something worthwhile. Well, that's my experience anyway.

    Some call the first of these cases "infatuation" and the other "falling in love" but I think it's often a bit of a mix, and traditionally they were both called "falling in love" (as in medieval romance, for instance).
     
  5. Ready2Please

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    I've only had this feeling of love once and I was 18 years old. I miss that feeling and I haven't had it for a long time. Talk to her and let her know how you feel. Can she go see you during the summer. Hopefully not when I'm there. ;)

    Text me if you want to talk. You know I'm here for you sweetie.
     
  6. HardRocker

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    Since you've been friends for years, pure irrational infatuation probably isn't likely, but like Trond said, maybe a little. You don't realize how much there is to know about another person until you get involved. When you are immersed in the complexities of that - being in a relationship - and you still get a rush when you think of her... you're in deep.

    I say put her on the spot. Tell her(whether you already have or not), and ask her point blank. Then report back for more instructions.:lol
     
  7. lbushwalker

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    [I say put her on the spot. Tell her(whether you already have or not), and ask her point blank. Then report back for more instructions.:lol[/QUOTE]

    Yessir Captn HR...............
    Dude has been bitten by the love bug alright.
    No antidote for that soldier.
     
  8. davej

    davej Member

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    Thank Yall for all the words of wisdom. I'll have to muster up some courage but I will put her on the spot but in a gentle fashion. I'll report back when I finally decide to tell her.
     
  9. Trond

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    :popcorn
     
  10. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    love is a tricky thing to describe. its all about what feels right, trust the instincts, shouldn't be any thought of this or that. you just have this desire greater than lust. its an emotional, physical and psychological whirlwind... see how hard it is to describe? lol, like ready2please said, love doesn't come by too often so don't let it slip away. good luck
     
  11. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    It depends on what you define love to be.
    In my opinion you have different levels of attraction that people label incorrectly as "being in love"

    You have attraction and lust - which happens immediately, and can feel very powerful People sometimes call that love

    Then you have longing, which usually comes from you wanting someone badly and they for what ever reason aren't reciprocating. This longing creates strong feelings, and sometimes obsession about the person. I find that most people call this Love.

    Then you have false love. Basically what i mean by this is you create an illusion of perfection about a person, that they in reality are nothing like. For example a girl thinks her entire world revolves around this perfect guy, who in reality is a POS. That will make them turn a blind eye to the obvious and only focus on the occasional moments where they get something to reaffirm their beliefs.

    Another version of this comes from good sex. I've seen this alot with women, where they will have amazing sex with a guy then think it must be because they are in love why its so good. The same happens with men. Hell i was guilty of it once. In reality its not love its a physical reaction.

    I think none of the above is true love. I believe love is something that grows with time and its always mutual. Its a feeling of complete security, and a deep emotional connection, and its also something that truly never dies. Ive honestly only experienced it with 2 people and to this day they are still apart of me
     
  12. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    IMHO this may not be the best strategy. In my experience women generally take the path of least resistance/pressure. (doesn't mean they are bad its a logical reaction. women are socialized not to be confrontational)

    When confronted or forced into a situation where they have to make a decision they will:
    a) stall for time
    b) Lie/ deflect
    c) go for the easiest choice. Which usually means running away.

    My advice would be to do nothing, just wait it out and see what happens. If its love then it will prove itself with time.

    Not to be the local skeptic, but this case sounds like a case of puppy love. The OP is attracted to the girl, the girl has him in the "friend zone" I didn't read it anywhere that he and her were actually in a relationship.

    If he were then he wouldnt have posted the question IMHO.

    OP, have you kissed this girl? are you having sex with her? If your answer is no to one or both then you are in the Friendzone and its not love.

    Some girls especially young ones who arent emotionally mature yet, will do this "friendzone" thing, basically it means that you will do everything with them that a boyfriend would do, but you wont get any sex/commitment out of them.
     
    #12 cheeze, Mar 13, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2011
  13. Untamed

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    Maybe I have never experienced true love.
    I have however felt a deep emotional connection in relationships developed beautiful friendships in others and had amazing unforgetable sex.

    Never really felt complete security which is sad :(
     
  14. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    well everyone's definition is different, thats just my view of it. It may not be correct at all.

    That said we are both still young and our opinions are based on our experiences so who knows maybe in a year or 5 years our perceptions maybe completely different.
     
  15. cbrmale

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    Cheeze,
    I think your ponderings are close to the mark, and what I define as love is a combination of physical, emotional and intellectual attraction. Lust coupled with your best friend and soulmate. I think where a lot of relationships go wrong is that individuals feel an emtional and intellectual attraction but don't have all the ingredients, and still think this is love. If lustful attraction builds over time that's good, but if it doesn't then you probably end up with sexual mis-matches or worse. A lot of the asexual relationships we come across here are probably based on attraction which always lacked overpowering lustful attraction, but the couples still feel connected to one-another enough not to break it up even if it isn't working sexually.

    I tend to think that if someone needs to ask 'is this love', then it isn't. I first fell in love and I knew straight away what it was, and I knew she was the one. We were engaged in 6 weeks and married about three months later.
     
  16. backcheck64

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    Dr Laura (who is half batshit crazy) put it quite well. When you'll swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade. When her safety, concerns, wants, needs all come before yours without thinking about it. When you feel you really can't live without that person, or at least don't want to. When no other women enter your mind.

    It's what I've felt for the past 28yrs. Even the oh so hot NurseHarley could be lying in my bed in her most tempting outfit, and even if my wife would never know, I'd say thanks but no thanks. Do you feel this way or would you be tempted?
     
  17. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    id be more than tempted. Id sin so hard Satan would have to build another layer of hell for me :lol
     
  18. backcheck64

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    Oh I'd admire the view, maybe even rip off a few...hundred frames with the 7D. But my wife is my world. She's beautiful like Nurse, but blonde, and no, no woman could tempt me to stray.
     
  19. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    I'll let ya know
    You come off as a hard ass backcheck,but that was incredibly sweet!
    Your wife must be amazing to inspire such loyalty.


    I agree with Cheeze though,there are different degrees of love...and what most people think is love is just physical attraction/lust.
     
  20. HardRocker

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    Aw he's just rough around the edges. He likes himself that way.:cool