Question

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by grunt0311, Jan 14, 2006.

  1. grunt0311

    grunt0311 New Member

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    Hi everyone, i was just hoping for alittle advice/reassurance...


    I am datimg a wonderful woman, we love eachother very much, and we want to get married in the next year or two. Everything is great and fine and dandy, kind of like our life together is a movie.

    The only issue im having is that she is bisexual, forst of all I do not have a problem with this, i am a very openminded individual, I really dont care what theyr sexual preference is as long as they are happy.

    What bothers me (internally), is that earlier tonight she and I were talking on the phone, she broke the subject of her bisexuality. She says she loves me and that nothing will tear us apart, but she told me that occasionally she may want to have a sexual encounter with another woman. From a logical standpoint, I have no problem with this, she likes girls and wants to have some fun. She says it will not affect her love for me at all and all that happy stuff, it just one of those things she may want to do from time to time. From an emotional standpoint, I feel very strange about it, one of my initial responses in my head was that i did not want her to do that period. Knowing that she is a true bisexual taking that away from her is like her telling me I can never ride my motorcycle again. So i perfectly understand, so Im just looking for some guidance, when it really boils down to it, im really just not wanting her to have sex with anyone else, i wouldnt have sex with anyone but her, but at the same time I want her to enjoy herself, and it brings up alot of inadequacy/fear of her leaving me/"she will leave me for a woman"/intimacy issues, and I really want to get over it. I just dont know, it actually bothers me that im getting so worked up over it when in my head im alright about it but my feelings say another thing. Can anyone offer some advice?

    Thanks all
     
  2. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    Please do not double post.

    Also, moved here.
     
  3. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Grunt 0311,

    The advice I would give you is not to accept any advice.

    `Poly-Amorous relationships is the term for your fiancee's desires. Or maybe it is swinging.


    Look at these references:

    http://www.sexualforums.com/talk/showthread.php?t=812

    Particularly Boundaries: "Are you asking me about stepping out with another woman, because you assume that I will be steping out with other women also?"

    What are her deisres and visons for another woman? What fantasies can you fufill with your hands, fingers and tounge? What porn does she like? How about one night a month you practice techniques that another woman would do better than you know how? Lebian Porn? How are your massage skills?

    What do you know about the Subcounscious? Ever studied subroutine analysis? Check out the NLP references.

    What campatability tests have you run? What about MB Needs Questionaire? What do you have going together? Would another woman be a better match for you?

    What do you know about hour feeings of jealousy? What do you know about Swining? What do you know about Poly Amorous relationships? Open Marriages? Open marriages bassed on secrecy and denial?

    Post more as your thougths progress on the issue.
     
    #3 Logger, Jan 14, 2006
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2006
  4. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    My only advice is to be certain to settle the issue before proceeding with the marriage. If it bothers you now, it will bother you just as much later, perhaps more as she will have made her vows.
     
  5. Joe

    Joe
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    "...she loves me and that nothing will tear us apart, but she told me that occasionally she may want to have a sexual encounter with another...."

    I think she needs to decide if you'll be enough for her or not, but it sounds like she's already decided that you won't be enough. It's obvious that you're NOT okay with this. If she had told you that she's straight but might want to occasionally be with another man, you wouldn't be asking for advice. No difference really.