Question/Problem :: Overly High Libido

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by CK_1, Nov 6, 2007.

  1. CK_1

    CK_1 New Member

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    Hi,

    This is my first post.

    Naturally I don't want to clutter the forum so if this has been addressed/talked about before then please direct me to the relevant thread.

    That said I did search High Testosterone and High Libido and struck out with both. Probably my error :ugh

    So... the issues::

    I seem to be an extremely horny devil. I'm not bragging in anyway shape or form. It has become a fairly serious obstacle for my wife and I. We have been together 10 years now (married for 6). When we first met love sex and play were naturally high on the agenda.

    Now we have two children busy lives and I seem to be like a rampant Stag in an almost permanent state of arousal. I don’t mean to say that I walk around with a hardon for 16 hours each day, but when I’m near my wife it takes very little for me to want to jump her. I find her highly attractive and desirable.

    If we caress, cuddle of show any intimacy towards each other I’m horny. My wife’s libido is nowhere near the levels of mine and I am frankly getting on her tits.

    I appreciated I should and can show certain amounts of control/restraint but I get, for want of a better way to phrase it, desperate for contact. Laying next to her each night is like torture or an endurance test. Can I leave her alone?

    When the opportunity arises I masturbate to relieve my ‘tension’ however sometimes this only serves to highlight the lack of contact.

    I do wonder if it’s the confirmation of my wife wanting to make contact with me that I desire more than ejaculation.

    I admit I think about sex a lot. I fantasize about my wife constantly during the day and simply seeing her when I get home turns me on.

    I‘ve looked across the net and most things I find talk about ways that women can invigorate lustless males. Not what can be done if you can’t get enough.

    To the question….

    Am I particularly odd in this?

    Does anyone else feel or have a similar situation?

    Is there anyway of reducing my Libido in a sensible way.. exercise or Diet?

    I know this is a fairly rambling post and I'm sorry for that. I am very used to forums, just not forums on this subject.

    I will be very greatful for all feedback.
     
  2. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Answer is...

    ...no.

    Sounds 100% normal to me and it's one of the toughest challenges a man faces, in my opinion. You are way down the list to her right now and it's not personal; it's practical; Kids, busy lives.

    You're challenge is finding a way to be loving AND patient. Hit the gym, play guitar, try and find a way to not start resenting her. It's biology; she's managing the harvest, taking care of the kids. You're interested in getting the next seed spread or, at the very least, ploughing the ground to get it ready to seed. Or mowing the grass so you can plough it so you can seed it, and so on.

    Be patient. Be understanding. Try and focus on the kids. I read somewhere women are turned on by men who spend time with the kids. :lol

    Good luck!
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Hmmmm - now this is a different twist on a subject that has been broached here at :sf. I admire your obvious love for your wife, desiring to change things within yourself in order to make things better.
    I admire the fact that you are not indicating that your wife has a problem that needs addressed. Many women go through a period of low libido during the child rearing years.

    I take it you both enjoy sex... just not nearly as much as your body needs sex. You may have hit something when you mentioned the 'contact' aspect of your arousal. There could very well be some sort of phsychological/emotional thing going on. We do have a couple people on :sf that do alot of research and reading in that area, so hopefully they'll chime in here.

    I do know that exercise works on one's psyche, and seems to level out emotional "rough spots", whatever they may be. That surely would be something worth a try. You could even have some sort of chemical imbalance, manifesting itself in an unusually insatiable sex drive. Have you spoken to a medical professional about your 'problem'?

    Rose
     
  4. CK_1

    CK_1 New Member

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    Thanks for the swift reply LP.

    Thank fully I don't have any resentment at all.

    I do worry that I will make her more distant if my libido doesn't calm down..
     
    #4 CK_1, Nov 6, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2007
  5. CK_1

    CK_1 New Member

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    Hi Rose.

    No, I haven't gone down that route yet.

    I was looking for possible reasons when I stumbled in here :)

    No the issue is not my wife's it is all me :phat
     
  6. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Don't worry...

    ...that you will; KNOW that you will. Act accordingly. Self control. It ain't easy. Most things worth doing aren't and that's what makes things have value. Any immature numb nuts can get all pissy and childish and cry about not getting enough sex. It takes maturity and self control to look at the bigger picture and that's how you show her true love.

    You can do it.
     
  7. CK_1

    CK_1 New Member

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    Now there is a saying I haven't heard outside my circle of friends :)

    All very true PL.

    Pretty much why I have ended up on here asking about my situation.

    Getting back into sports might be an answer.
     
  8. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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  9. Barbwire

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    Right on, Halogen babee! :bow
     
  10. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    It is...

     
  11. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    I was in a relationship for six years. 18-24. (it ended nearly a year ago). For five of those years, I got sex..maybe twice a month? I feel confident in the knowledge that, while in a committed relationship, if someone's interest takes a nosedive, the effects can be devastating to the other partner, and no amount of cuddling can replace the emotions that sex has.
     
  12. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Did...

    ...you have children?

    Were you married?
     
  13. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    We never married.

    And yes. We had two children together. I've actually tried to keep this under wraps here, as I'm not comfortable disclosing this info, but yes. We have a girl and a boy together.
     
  14. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Ok...

    ...so you were not in a commited relationship but you did have two kids and the sex happened, for 5 of those years, twice a month.

    Your experience is sounding less and less like CK1's as we go along.
     
  15. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    I wasn't in a committed relationship? This is news to me. All that time I thought I was!
     
  16. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    No...

    ...marriage is a committed relationship. Living together is living together. I'm not quibbling about this. The difference is huge. It's like renting versus owning.
     
  17. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    Yeah. All right. Marriage isn't for everyone. I'll make sure to tell my two children that their father and I were just 'living together' and fucking occasionally. We didn't go to counseling or buy a house together or have a joint checking account or anything that married people do. We were just renting. :eyes

    But I digress. I'm not here to argue with you, I'm here to help out this person who has a question.


    Sorry to derail your thread CK_1! I understand what it's like to have a busy life, but sex isn't something that can be ignored on either end. Is it possible to schedule a date night or something? At least communicate your desires to her? At the very least, you'll flatter her ;)
     
  18. AnonymousOne

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    I disagree with your very premise that marriage is necessary for a committed relationship.

    I want to see backing for this point.*

    *failure to provide an appropriate defensible argument will render your entire point null and void. And as such your argument will be repossessed by the Logic Gnomes.
     
  19. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    We're not arguing and marriage is not for everybody. CK posted his particulars and being married for 6 years after being together 4 and having great sex until the kids came along is very different, in my opinion, than your experiences. Not better. Not worse. Different.

    You were together for 5 years. 4 of them sucked sexually. You had two kids and never married.

    CK's wife knows damn well he's horny and he can either be patient for her or be a best and get on her nerves. Most women lose interest in sex for awhile after they've had kids. Their priorities change. Men only lose interest in sex for a few minutes immediately following sex.

    What he is going through is normal. He's normal. She's normal. Patience and understanding will probably yield better long term results than pressing his 'needs' on her. He'll be fine and she'll reward his love for her with a blazing, scandalous sex life once the kids get older.
     
  20. AnonymousOne

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    *failure to defend your argument triggers the Logic Gnomes to sneak in and steal your argument.*