Question on virginity

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by ftheunion, Aug 13, 2007.

  1. ftheunion

    ftheunion New Member

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    I was wondering if sex was overrated. My friend said it could be. I guess its better if both partners like each other, so it is sensual and romantic and emotional bonding along with the physical pleasure of it.

    Some guys are alone most their whole lives, and I dunno if I’ll ever have the privilege of feeling a woman's warmth. I'm still young, but I am a skeptic and stuff. I agree that its better to have love and lost than never at all, but I don't know if that is good when it comes to sex. I still think about that first (only) girlfriend back in junior high, but I don't know how I'll hold up if that happens, cause sex hooks people mentally, so It'll wear me down thinking about that person forever pretty much. I say this because even you all probably remember well every person you had sexual relations with.


    I like philosophy, and it tells to either go out and get what you want, or give up all desires. Either way is questionable. Determinism vs. Free Will is a classic situation and I definitely thing about it. I don't fear tellin someone I like how I feel, I did it just after graduating this past June, but I worry about the affects and am very careful not to bother or tread on someone. Thus, I've only pulled it off once, but I think it worked great. I can't control the universe, so its always up to the girl. Sorry for all the BS rambling melancholy whining, but starting out on my own 350 miles away and only knowing relatives is taxing as far as stress. It sucks having no friends other than a cousin.


    Basically I was wondering if its a shame, or how much, if I miss out on having sex during the span of life. Those porn actors make it look nice, but thats drama. Still, with all the culture and those idealistic romances in movies, I am curious to what it is like, but I can't really reach ultimate understanding by philosophizing, or thinking, or concentrating, cause it is something wholly different, it’s an experience, not a school of thought.


    Thanks for any advice.
     
  2. sexyvixen4

    sexyvixen4 New Member

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    First, stop worrying so much. sex is a beautiful thing, And sex can be over rated if you're only in it for the sex. But i believe that sex is very important in a relationship, whether it's forever or not. In order to have a good relationship, sex is an important factor! if you're not enjoying it with your partner, you may not be right for each other. In other words, If the relationship is good, the sex has to be good too. (but not the other way around)

    Also, sex isn't about philosophy or science, its something that can't be described, only felt. Don't get me wrong you can describe how to do it, which there are a billion different ways, but when you ask someone how it feels, good just doesnt cover it when you're with the right person. So stop analyzing sex because it can't be done.
     
  3. Dreama

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    Sex is amazing, if your with someone who appreciates who you are, and loves you....And, you love them back....It rocks, so don't be afraid to experience. You'll find out soon enough. Stop brooding.
     
  4. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    Your thinking to much and getting too technical about it. There is nothing technical about love. There is no real way or RULES to explain how to gain ones love. You just do it. And yes your philosophy is correct. But it applys to most everything in life. If your really want something you have to go out and GRAB it. Not many things just fall into peoples lap.

    Through life even the most kind people are forced to become forceful or they will never gain anything in life. Remember everything that you want in life if your TRULY want it is worth fighting for. Whether it be a womens love or the shoes on your feet.

    As far as sex itself goes. I have yet to have it though i have been pleasured and that alone is GREAT!...much better than your hand :)
     
  5. cbrmale

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    Sex is certainly not overrated, and I don't know why anyone would voluntarily consider living a sexless life. As I write this I am feeling the blissful afterglow of sex with my wife who I love very much. Sex with someone you love is very special and precious.

    However, I have also experienced another type of sex, carnal connection with someone who felt the same way. Not love, just two people who liked each other. This type of sex is also very special, and when a couple are of like mind in the pursuit of pleasure, it can be very satisfying. I have had many of these encounters, and in answer to your question I cannot remember many of these names! I can remember faces, special moments, very special moments; memories that will last my lifetime.

    Why do you think you won't find someone, somewhere? You don't need love to have sex after all. True love is often hard to find, but sexual connection can happen quite easily and unexpectedly. Open your mind to the possibility that one day you will find someone to love and who loves you, but also keep your options open that sex with someone you like is a worthy alternative.
     
  6. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    It's very hard (almost impossible) to explain to someone who has never had sex before, what sex is like. Having said that I can most definitely attest that sex is not overrated, if by "overrated" you mean made out to be better than it really is. No other experience compares to it.

    I do believe however, that many people (especially young virgin males) tend to think about sex in a way that makes it out to be more important than it really is. My SO for example, told me that when he was younger he placed so much emphasis on the act of having sex as an affirmation of his self-worth, that if he were still a virgin by the age of eighteen he would commit suicide. Well, his eighteenth birthday came and went and he hadn't lost his virginity yet, but he didn't end up killing himself after all.

    Still, there's no need to place that much importance on sex.
     
  7. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    It's not politically correct to say this but I think virginity is way over rated!:dgrin
     
  8. ftheunion

    ftheunion New Member

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    Thank you for the feedback. I forgot about this thread and posted a new one, and too similar topic. I apologize, cause it sounds like I'm griping when reading I suppose. I infered of most that stuff, just didn't know prevalent it was. True though, I can never think through this unless I have the experience, which I don't. I'm young and naiive, but sometimes it seems the world is naiive. I definetly don't take myself that seriously, or wouldn't in a conversation. Y'all have way more life experience than I do so thanks for the advice.
     
  9. Runtoyou

    Runtoyou New Member

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    From someone who been on both sides I'd say sex is over rated if you're with someone who is only in it for the pleasure. But if you are in a relationship where she appreciates you and you can work together for each other's gratification there's nothing like it. :) My advice wait for someone that means something to you other than a sex toy and then let the fun begin! lol
     
  10. bob183

    bob183 New Member

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    Sex is wonderful. Both as a fun thing to do between friends and as something for someone you love. The most important thing is that both persons understand which of those two it is. It's not overrated at all- just misunderstood, by those who are inexperienced, or have not experienced all of what sex can be.
     
  11. Tropical281

    Tropical281 New Member

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    Nothing wrong with saving yourself for the right one.

    I was 18 before I even ask much as touched a naked pair of tits, or did anything sexual with a girl.... then I met the girl I will be spending the rest of my life with, I waited for her, she waited for me..... We have not had vaginal (or anal) intercourse, as we are waiting until we are married, but thats about it, we have done much everything else and are very touchy feely with each other, and that feeling hasn't died down in the least bit.

    To loose my virginity to a girl for a one night stand or something was just wrong to me, I wanted to give my everything to the girl I would spend the rest of my life with, and I did/will be.... same goes for her :)
     
  12. Runtoyou

    Runtoyou New Member

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    Good for you! :D
     
  13. metwo

    metwo New Member

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    ^^no doubt

    but nobody except yourself can make that decision, you need to see how you feel.
     
  14. cbrmale

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    I am not a great fan of waiting for 'the one', because the long wait is bound to end in disappointment. The sexual experience can be even more mixed if the partner has also waited.

    Sex is easy, anyone can do it. Good sex is entirely different, and it takes experience, practice and confidence to get to good sex. To get to great sex is different again. It is possible to do good or great with one partner for life, but it will take a long time, two open minds and a lot of experimentation to get there. On the other hand, if you have sex with a friend who has a bit of sexual experience, you can learn a lot. At least that's my experience, I learned from my early lovers, and later in my sexual development I taught some inexperienced lovers too.

    If I had my time all over again, I'd do it pretty much the same way. A few friends to sleep with, some interesting casual encounters, some longer-term girlfriends (one a few years older) and then a lifetime relationship with a special soulmate.
     
  15. Tropical281

    Tropical281 New Member

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    Well, our faith played a large role in both waiting for each other, as well as finding each other....

    She never as much as masturbated or had an orgasm before we met... I personally was pretty much addicted to masturbation, as well as porn, but that was it. She is very much against porn though and I've worked hard at taking that out of my life now.

    I always dreamed of having a girl that was pretty much a complete freak and would try almost anything when it came to sexual things. Not that it was a must or anything, but I knew how I would get and I just hoped to have someone that was the same.

    Well, I got just that... as we started doing a bit more here and there... she would bring the wild side out more and more.... and she has just as much of a sex drive as I, if not greater at times.... I would consider her a nympho... heh, when I told her the description of what it was she agreed and said it was definitly her :)

    I would always get alot of comments from various people, mostly other guys my age in school (when I said I was waiting for the one) and tech school (when I still said I was waiting, and when we met) But.... they would bring up things like, how do I know she would not be horrible in bed? First up, in my relationship with the girl I am going to spend the rest of my life with, our sexual performance wasn't on the top of the list.... because also, never having been with somone sexually... there is nothing to compare to, so when people would say what if the sex was bad? My response would be, then neither of us would know as we've never been with someone.... but I know it would end up getting better.

    As the months passed and we did more sexually, besides having an insanely open relationship and talk about everything, we would fool around with each other more and more.... and thats when all her pent up energy was just released.... if what we were doing then (and now) is this good, but also getting better each time as we are both still learning more and more with each other, then there is simply no way around the fact that our sex, and rest of our sex life will be nothing short then amazing.

    Almost everyone (guys) I would talk to would come of with the same thing... how do you know the sex isn't going to suck.... well, I am an open person, thats just how I was brought up and raised... if you ask me a question, I'm going to answer it.... well, it would be hard to explain all of that, and I would get asked about it... I would just have to get into the details.... one example is when I was visiting my girl (right now we only see each other one weekend every 2 weeks because of distance) that she wanted to beat her previous blow job record.... and she did.... 5 blow jobs and 1 hand job in one day.... she was trying (quite hard too!) to get that to a 6th BJ but I was just emptied out :eek: she will not swallow, I've asked her about it, she says the thought of it grosses her out... she does suck every last bit of cum out of me though, and that is perfectly fine with me :)

    But, it is hard, espeically being a guy and going thru high school and later on, a tech school with 95% other guys.... you have to be strong willed and really stand up (and be patient) for what you believe, Personally, I enjoy being different (with pretty much everything) I can't just be like everyone else.... and when I said I was waiting for my future wife that was of same faith as I, a virgin, didn't smoke or do drugs etc.... every one (literally) said I was crazy to expcet to find a ~20 year old girl that was a virgin and didn't smoke.... well, we met when we were both 18, I'm 20 now and she is turning 20 soon.... and pretty soon we will be taking the next step in our lives together.

    I know I've gone into alot of the sex details, but thats because it is a sex forum.... its the only place I can, and it really does feel awesome, I must admit :) And as wild, crazy and open we are about anything sexual related with each other, the sex stuff is most defintily not a priority, we have such deep, strong love for each other, we know each other better then we know ourselves. We have, and are trying to hold back tho on the sexual things between us, but it is just incredibly difficult as we are just so touchy feely with each other and want to show our love for each other by pleasing in ways that just feel really good.

    Heh, didn't mean for this to turn into a novel... I just felt like I should share.... if there are other younger folks out there that think they are the only one that is still a virgin, or that something must be wrong with them or they are messed up... then thats not true, and I just enjoy sharing our story (tho I don't normally go into all the sexual details) to show that, despite what the media and peer pressure wants you to believe, there are virgins older then 15 y/o out there :)