Question on getting tested.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Jayce, Oct 21, 2006.

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  1. Jayce

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    I'll try to keep this as simple as possible. I've met a new girl, been talkin a lot, very open with each other, and we're not even dating yet though it's bound to happen. Just coming out of a 5 year old relationship and me being only 20 years old I told her I didn't want to rush into anything and she's been incredibly respectable about that.

    Anyway one day we were talking about our previous partners. I completely believe her, but I figured I'd ask here to see what you folks thought. Do you guys think you should get tested anyway, or under certain circumstances do you think it's acceptable to not deem it necessary to get tested?

    My story:

    I lost my virginity to a virgin. She's the only contact I've had.

    The girl I've met fooled around (fingers, oral, no intercourse) with a dude who was a virgin. She was also a virgin then too. Later, she got serious with a new guy. He was not a virgin. But before they did anything, she made him get tested and the results were clean. So they went ahead and had their fun until their relationship ended.

    Logic is telling me not to worry a single bit. So is my gut feeling. But I've never been faced with this. Up until now I've never once thought about this because I was always with a woman who lost her virginity to me.
     
  2. Joe

    Joe
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    Probably okay BUT...

    You never know. I caught an STD from a woman who said she hadn't had sex in 20 years... and I believe her. You just never know. Apparently she got it from an older brother when she was just a kid.

    Go with your gut feeling if you like, but if you're wrong you could be living with an STD for the rest of your life.
     
  3. Jayce

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    Yeah, I don't know. I'm pretty confident everything is okay due to the fact she's overly paranoid about being protected. Plus with how everything has been in the past as far as our partners and how everything falls into place, I guess I'm just convinced everything is okay.

    We'll talk more and I'll see what happens.
     
  4. pussycat69

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    I believe in the "better safe than sorry" bit.Your gut is probably right,but what if it's not?
    Maybe if you know her real well and are close,personal friends and know how she is...that might be the exception,but after YOU being 'clean' all these years--I would be hesitant.
     
  5. Jayce

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    In the event we wanted to get tested, where would we go? Doctors? What would the cost and wait time to get the results back?
     
  6. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I tend to get leary of those who say they have been with like one or two partners who have been virigins. Granted that is what they may have been told (or wanted to believe) but it may not have been the case. For me, I always assume, not matter what I have been told, the number that they have given me is not correct.

    Anyhow, getting tested really comes down to the purpose of having it done and the potential for risk. If your partner is on birth control and you are wanting to go without a condom then getting testing is crucial. Also if you have been exclusive but the two of you are talking about opening up the relationship to others then regular testing is an absolute. However if you are using a condom, have no thoughts / plans of not using one, neither of you engages in oral sex, and both of you are exclusive then you might be able to hold off for a bit.
     
  7. Jayce

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    Eh, I don't know. Normally I feel the same way and just expect the worst. But this girl told me this when we were just talking and had no feelings or plans of getting together, so I can't really see how she'd benefit from telling me something that wasn't true. Cause she was real up front and told me straight up she wasn't a virgin. Then as we talked more and seemed to get interested in each other I brought the subject up and she explained how paranoid she was of catching something so she made her boyfriend get tested. Things like that just make me feel more comfortable about her.

    But in all honesty, I think if we would engage in anything it would be oral. So maybe if her and I end up hooking up I'll bring up the subject and see about getting tested.

    Where can you go to get tested? Wait time for results? Cost?
     
  8. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Since you're only twenty (I assume the girl is probably as young or younger than you) you should be able to go to any Planned Parenthood or similar clinic and get all the tests you need, as well as all the condoms and access to birth control devices and services for little to no money. Places like this usually offer their services for free (or very cheap) to young people. Look in the yellow pages under Planned Parenthood. When I got tested for HIV it took about two weeks to get the results. However, this was several years ago and I'm not sure how long it takes now. You could ask someone at the clinic about it.
     
  9. Jayce

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    Eh I think we'll just go slow and see what happens. Sometimes I'm not sure if I wanna get hooked up with this girl.

    I mean, she's honest, open, and I'm sure she'd be loyal to me. But on the other hand I feel like she can't live without me and I'm not even dating her. I hung out with her the last 3 nights and today she wants me to come visit her at work. For one I really don't wanna drive to the mall to see her for 5 minutes and two I don't want to get her in trouble.

    She also has the habit of using the word "fuck" entirely too much where it just isn't necessary. Gets old hearing it...
     
  10. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Hi Jayce

    Logic wise as you said, I don't think I would even think about a test.

    However, from the other parts of your posting, in your case I would definitely suggest that you both be tested.

    Simply for comfort of mind. If you don't get tested and you were to catch some infection you would regret that totally.

    Getting tested can only be beneficial to you both.
     
  11. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    A 20 year old asking where to get tested.
    just give your family doctor a call
    they will draw the blood in the exam room and send it to the lab.
    The cost no one can say as we dont live where you do
    and dont go to the same doctor.
    My doctor charges 80.00, plus about 50.00 for the lab work.
    I would do it and use condoms both. ;)
     
  12. Jayce

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    Oh yeah. Don't get me wrong, I'll use a condom until the day I get married, but it's the oral part I'm wondering about... cause her and I got to talkin, and I got the vibe she's really into that.

    And I've been looking at the planned parenthood site, but I can't seem to find much information and it's too late to call. I think I'll talk to these guys and see what they say. Any input about the planned parenthood route?

    And yes, I may be 20, but I've been in a relationship with a virgin (and me being a virgin myself) with her since I was 15. We lost it together. So there was NEVER any reason for me to even consider getting tested. Now that it's a current situation in my life, I'm questioning it. Mostly because I don't want my parents to find out.
     
  13. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    You know your own situation..both virgins... no possibility of having STDs.

    However, regardless of what a new partner tells you, you have to realize that you not only have to believe that SHE'S telling the whole truth, but you have to believe that every partner she's been with is also telling the whole truth. There are way too many 'unknowns' in this situation to allow yourself to be naiive.

    Bottom line - you are responsible for yourself and your own health. And as you grow older, you may develop relationships with more women. You have to remember that you are not only going to have sex with these new girls, but tehnically, you are having sex with every partner they have ever had as well. When you do the math, the equation becomes overwhelming!

    Get the test, and make it a prerequisite for any new dating/sexual relationship. It's far less expensive than the alternative.
     
  14. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Planned Parenthood is in no way capable of helping you.
    they are a bunch of religious nuts that dont believe in anything
    but having more babies. Their sole reason for being their is to stop abortion.
     
  15. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Actually.................. Planned Parenthood performs abortions. MMmmm....the thoughts swirlin' in this bitchy head......

    Planned parenthood is there to assist people who need assistance for financial or condidentiality reasons (this 18 year old couple who doesn't wish to confront parents but wishes to make very wise decisions). They offer bags of condoms to prevent the spread of disease and to prevent pregnancy. They perform gynecological checks, offer birth control pills, and even provide prenatat care for mothers. They are not religious NUTS, nor is anyone who believes passionately about something you disagree with!

    We are here to educate the younger generation, friend.
     
  16. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    On the contrary Planned Parenthood is the kind of place that religious nuts like to bomb. The one I went to in Eugene, OR simply offered birth control options and services, including STD testing, as well as abortions and pre-abortion counseling. The place didn't seem to have any religious or political agendas at all and was totally non-judgemental. Their main concern is to make sure people are making informed and safe decisions about sex.
     
  17. Jayce

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    Yeah. I've heard good things about the local one around here, though I've never seen it and by looking at the directions whenever I worked at my last job I must of passed it every single day and not realized it.

    And yeah, I watch CourtTV all the time, and a couple of times when they had cases regarding a serial arsenist, they put the pattern together and realized it was always against clinics that performed abortions. In the end, it always seemed to be the pastor of the local church doing these. Amazing, isn't it? I certainly don't believe in abortions, but there are other alternatives to speaking your mind and trying to change that as opposed to strapping bombs to the front door of the clinics. :eyes
     
  18. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    ?? Okay enough about planned parenthood and bombs and crap.

    Jayce, if you're serious, you need to take responsibility for your body. In this day, it is not an offence to ask a potential sexual mate to get tested. Actually, it's a sign of maturity and kindness.
     
  19. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Ok.... my issue wasn't necessarily planned parenthood....but spouting things on a board that one knows nothing about and educating others improperly.

    Jayce.... what will you do if you really like this girl, as you seem to, and the two of you go get tested together.... and there is a concern? I'm just curious.

    I agree with Rose. It's mature, it's wise, it's caring. You've talked openly this far and it's all going well. A wise woman once said "Don't analyze things so much." LOL. If you wish for her to be tested, you must afford her the same respect and be ready to be tested as well. K?
     
  20. Jayce

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    :tup The only thing I'm really questioning is an idea of what it'd cost... I mean if it'll cost a good chunk then I'd like to know ahead of time so I expect it. And confidentiality, of course, which is why I'm straying away from the family doc. Plus I can only imagine that the family doc would cost a good bit too.

    Guess I'll have to make some calls tomorrow.
     
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