Question number 1

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by little_mrs, Oct 31, 2010.

  1. little_mrs

    little_mrs New Member

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    Hey you all,
    This is my first thread that I have posted here.
    I think this is the first question I need to ask...lol
    How do I get the rough side of my husband out so to speak?
    He is very sweet and loving and those are things I love about him.
    I love rough sex and want to try some new things and not sure how to get him to the point of doing the things I want.
    I am maybe strange...lol.. I dont like saying here this is what I want and then the next time we have sex him doing what I said cause I want to know that he is wanting to do the things we do and not doing them cause I told him to do them.. hope that is not hard to understand..lol
    I tell him.. when you come home from work you should just hold me down against the bed and fuck me and give me no choice and its not happened.... or tell him when I give him a blow job it would be a turn on to me if he would hold my head and thrust.. its not happened... and I have asked him if there is anything that he wants to do that we haven't and he doesnt have anything....
    Hope this is not too much of a ramble....
    Thanks for any and all help
     
  2. Rozenkavalier

    Rozenkavalier New Member

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    What have you tried to do already? Some of us were raised to not go where we are not invited.....:ugh
     
  3. lbushwalker

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    Hi little mrs,
    Welcome aboard and thanks for your frank question.
    You hubbie has obviously been bought up to respect, be kind and gentle to women and so doing otherwise is going against the natural grain.
    There are plenty of women out there who like nothing better than be taken by a primitive cave man and that is probably something deeply ingrained within our distant past psyche.
    To modern man this notion of ravishment may have been overshadowed, diminished and suppressed by developed society norms and expectations but by no means has it disappeared entirely.
    In every man exists a sex driven animal but it may need re awaking for those who seek it. Your challenge is to reignite that instinct in your man.
    How you go about it will depend on your relationship and personalities.
    Perhaps instead of talking about it like you have already (a female way but often lost on males) instead try action and visual cues.
    When you want it rough show him how physically or instead find some porn that depicts your fantasy show him and then order him to do that to you but assure him you will love him all the more for it.
    Hope it works for you :)
     
  4. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    I would agree with lbushwalker. To further his point, maybe you could wait until your having sex and then unleash the beast on him....lol. Say something like "now fuck me like your slut!"

    Get really raw and dirty with him. That way he'll KNOW that you want it rough right then and there. Hopefully he'll pick up the cues. Then after you've done this same theme a few times, he should get the message that you want it rough more often than sweet and gentle.
     
  5. little_mrs

    little_mrs New Member

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    Thank you all for the advise.. I will give it a go
     
  6. FlirtyChick

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    First off, welcome to the forum. Secondly, listen to Michellesoldman. Men generally love it when you do what he says......and respond in kind...
     
  7. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    It's like I'm hearing my lady talk to me all over again:). We've been through this exact same dillema and have come through it. I've shared my views on this issue a number of times on here.

    I'm sure my lady will be along shortly to give this a proper running-through, but let me take a quick crack before she blows it up. Your husband is a nice guy. Good job on snagging one of those, because they're often hard to pin down. Secondly,how much have you actually spoken to him about this? Has it been a single conversation or has he consistently known that this is a desire of yours?

    Honestly, if you'd like to get him to change his ways, we should be talking to him. Does he know that you've joined this forum?

    I was, kind of, in his position a while ago. I was raised as a proper gentleman. My lady likes me to be rough in the bedroom, but was afraid to tell me because she was quite nervous about what I would think. I understood entirely. She ended up writing and leaving me a letter explaining quite a bit about what she'd like me to do, and it was one of the sweetest things any woman has ever done for me. I've actually posted it here on the forum.

    If you'd be willing to answer some of these questions, I think that we could help you a little more efficiently. I've also attached some links to some of my past threads pertaining to just this issue. I garuntee that they will help you.

    http://www.sexualforums.com/27638-letter-from-my-lady.html
    http://www.sexualforums.com/27836-getting-depressed.html

    Thank you for having the courage to ask this difficult question as one of your first posts. It says a lot.

    ~Steve
     
  8. little_mrs

    little_mrs New Member

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    He does not know I am on this site...:lol He is actually away right now and will be home in a few weeks. This is something we have talked about a few times. I know he can be rough cause when we have been drinking that side of him comes out a little.. but even then I am having to tell him... things like... fuck me harder.... and stuff like that... He is open to trying the things that I want. I just want it to come from him somewhat.... a lot of the fun to me of being held down and fucked is the fact that you dont know it was gonna happen right then... I guess we are going in the right direction just by the fact that he is open and wants to try the things I want.... maybe I just need to give him more time... I dont know..lol.. that is why I have come to those of you who may know more than me on this one.
     
  9. little_mrs

    little_mrs New Member

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    and yes those two threads you posted were a big help Steve, ty