Question for the ladies about Bj's..

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by xplodez, Aug 25, 2007.

  1. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    Have you ever met a guy that you were just not able to get off through sucking them off, or even with your hands... either my gf is really not that great at it, or i just cannot get off through anything besides IC... she has gotten me close so many times but she just NEVER can finish and it used to end up going forever... She has never had this issue before with other guys which somewhat makes me feel bad (And somewhat self consious) because she makes it seem like its not her and she knows what shes doing.. I just kind of feel like crap because of it... is there anything i could do to get this to work, shes more of a .. we tried it a few times and it didnt work type of girl instead of wanting to work with me, so when she does do it, im so turned off at the thought of knowing that she just is not super enthusiastic about it knowing that its only because i asked if she would be willing to do it every once in awhile.. help:nerv
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I have been with more than one man who has had trouble climaxing from oral stimulation. Becoming self-conscious and turned off will only perpatuate YOUR issue. You have to learn to be comfortable and relaxed. IF she is not loving enough, supportive enough, to help you do that.... it says something pretty strong.

    PS. The men I have known who had trouble, were able to overcome it, with the proper care and attention.
     
  3. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    One way maybe , just an idea here. perhps you should masturbate yourself til your close to orgasm and then get your g/f to quickly take over so you can finish with her pleasuring you, perhaos that may make the next time easier for you.
     
  4. Bluesy

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    It's a distinct possibility. Not every dick responds to oral sex the way it responds to masturbation and/or intercourse. What is your reaction like when things aren't working out orally? What do you say? What kinds of nonverbal signals are you giving her? It could be that she isn't enthused about experimenting with different techniques because she's put-off by your responses to her attempts at getting you off orally. Do you go out of your way to reassure her that she's good at it, that it does feel pleasurable, but you must simply be a different breed of horse that needs special handling? Or are you acting frustrated and/or disgusted, or criticizing her efforts?
     
  5. Barbwire

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    I once dated a guy that had never had an orgasm through oral sex. He told me straight away that it wasn't going to happen, so there was no point to me even trying to give him a blow job. He sounded so defeated when he told me that, that I took is as a personal challenge to give him his first bj orgasm.

    I went about it as I would any other hummer, and he was loving it, but I could tell there was something missing, something he needed to go over the edge. I wet my index finger and started to massage his anus, which made him a lot thicker in my mouth. After a bit of massage I penetrated him with just my fingertip. He shot off like a rocket.

    I'm not saying this is going to work on you, but it might, so give it a try. One other thing, you might want to see if her stimulating your nipples while she is sucking on you sends you over the edge.

    Good luck!
     
  6. MikeHardwood

    MikeHardwood New Member

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    Many guys are afraid of the finger in their ass, simply because they might be slightly homophobic and think it threatens their manhood. Those of us who don't feel threatened by it know that it can greatly increase the intensity of an orgasm!

     
  7. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    Kronnie That is an idea i have been thinking of myself.. Nonverbals that i give are not negative at all, if anything she knows that i do enjoy it, but there is just something that is missing to me, and since she has never been able to get it to happen its hard for me to worry about is this the time it will happen? or just another no go.
     
  8. gabriela

    gabriela New Member

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    xplodez -- Am I understanding you correctly--that you haven't ever had an orgasm while receiving oral stimulation? If so, why are you focusing on her not being able to finish it? Could it be, for some reason, that you just can't let go? Sex is a two-way street--both partners have to work equally hard to stimulate the other, both physically and mentally. It sounds to me like you need to not obsess over it and she needs some encouragement and praise (she got you close, so she can't be doing anything that wrong). My recommendation would be to not play the blame game--maybe you could even make the magnanimous move of taking responsibility. If I were in her position, a message like the following would probably work:

    I don't mean to obsess over you giving me oral, but the idea continues to excite me. I don't know why I wasn't able to finish before, but I'd like to continue to explore that. You made me feel soooooo good, yada yada (more praise). Would you be willing to give it another shot? Would you do that for me?

    Follow it with some suggestions for alternative approaches. How about mutual masterbation so she can watch closely what you do to pleasure yourself (and vice versa). If it is her technique that is lacking, she will learn a lot by watching you. Tell her that you would like her tongue and mouth to join with your hand in achieving orgasm... etc. Get comfortable cumming within the vicinity of her face and tell her how much she excites you. Encouragement goes a long way.
     
  9. Joe

    Joe
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    It took my late wife a full year of trying every day before she finally got me off. After that she could do it any time she wanted to. She's the only woman who has ever gotten me off orally. I think it was partly her learning what it took and partly me letting it happen.

    I always love it, and always get very close, but not over the edge. My present wife doesn't like to give oral, so the few times she's done it for a couple minutes at a time hasn't even come close.
     
  10. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    I've seen this same issue a bunch of times on these forums and I'm surprised it's so common especially in younger guys. Maybe I'm lucky but I've always been able to cum from oral sex since I was a teen. When I got older I did notice that I was lasting much longer but was always able to cum from tensing my leg muscles for few minutes. I agree it might be an issue of not concentrating or letting go :shrug
     
  11. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    i have said it just like you reccomended and she is working with me on it i mentioned it a few weeks back just like that im trying to learn to let go but i dont think that its fully me, but i will accept it and instead of focusing on it, i will just sit and enjoy and not worry about if im going to go or not...
     
  12. Shy Girl

    Shy Girl New Member

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    For the first month or so my current guy and I were together, I wasn't really able to get him off that way... I think I did once but it took FOREVER and I know I was totally not enjoying it anymore at the point.

    Then I adjusted my 'technique' slightly and he noticed IMMED IATELY and now I can get him off most every time which makes me super happy :D
     
  13. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    what changed?
     
  14. bigballs69

    bigballs69 New Member

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    haha i'm glad its not just me. i can't get off when a girl is giving me a hand job but i wanna see if trying lube will work at all.. hopefully it will because my gf really wants to see me bust my load for some reason
     
  15. alicia_sweet

    alicia_sweet New Member

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    first things first

    Sometimes oral stimulation isn't enough. The good news is that if you can masturbate to orgasm she can get you there too. Tell her to watch you masturbate and put on a show for her. Show her all the things you do to yourself to make yourself have a really great orgasm. Talk to her while you are doing it and tell her what you fantisize about especially anything that involves her. Between the use of her mouth and hands and using what she learns from this I guarantee you she will be able to get you there.:)
     
  16. ~emm~

    ~emm~ New Member

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    my guy cant climax through oral... but wen i add a hand in thats what gets the juices going, for both of us :)
     
  17. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    she cant even get it with the hand either, i have tried to watch how she does it but it doesnt feel that good, i have tried to show her how, but never successful :(
     
  18. RedHotLady

    RedHotLady New Member

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    my ex-husband couldn't climax from oral most of the time...it seemed like when he was relaxed he was able too..
     
  19. Bluesy

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    Whenever a guy can cum easily via masturbation and intercourse, the inability to cum via BJ is often psychological in origin. I think it may very well be all in your head. Do you think it's possible that there's a small part of you that's afraid to ejaculate in her mouth? Because you think it might disgust her, etc?
     
  20. xplodez

    xplodez New Member

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    infact the thought of ejaculating in her mouth really turns me on... its like i just dont get it why it wont work..:eek