Question for the experienced

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Kitten_, Jan 18, 2014.

  1. Kitten_

    Kitten_ New Member

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    Hi!
    First I'll start by saying this is my first post (sorry I didn't make a introduction post :p ). My name is Kat, or Kitty. Doesn't matter. But what brought me here was that I'm searching for advice. Some back story:
    I've been dating a guy for a while now. We've had sex since day one. He's around the same size as me but his member is rather.... Large. And I'm very petite. We've always had issues during sex. I'm inexperienced and he's well... He's the opposite. I'm not a virgin but I've only had 1 other partner. He's never been with someone as inexperienced as me, so as you may see there is complications.
    For some reason i always get vaginal rips during sex. Which is somehing I've never experienced. Now I understand this is common. So at first it didn't bother me. I just grit my teeth and deal with it since they were never deep. But this caused me to never be able to cum. He knew exactly how to please me but the background pain makes it impossible.
    After sex he is always in a tremendous amount of pain. His dick gets swollen and the tip gets a ring of inflammation. He's typically sore for a while.
    Because of these injuries, sex has become very difficult for us.
    We've tried different positions. I read that female on top doesn't cause rips. But with me being so inexperienced I have a hard time knowing what to do. We've tried different condoms. We've tried no condom. We've tried more foreplay. It's become extremely frustrating.
    He wants me to go to the doctor, perhaps something is physically wrong. But I just recently joined the military and it really makes me nervous going to a VA hospital about my possibly abnormal vagina.
    Lol. :)
    Has anyone had a similar experience? If so, how did you fix it? Or is there any advice you could give me?
     
  2. AGFUNK

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    One would be to go to the doctor. The rips can cause long term damage. Definitely take a break from penetration for awhile until you heal. Are you using lube? It's possible that while you may be wet at the beginning it's not wet enough to continue since he's so large. Plus the pain during sex would be a turn off so you can actually start becoming dry. Try a silicone lube. I found that it's the only type that helps me plus it's compatible with condoms.

    For his soreness you are likely tensing up without even realizing it. Again see a doctor, use lots of lube and just relax.
     
  3. Kitten_

    Kitten_ New Member

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    Thanks for the advice. We haven't tries lube. I'll have to pick some up.
    It makes sense why he'd be sore.
    Thank you :)
     
  4. AGFUNK

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    Hopefully that works out for you. If it doesn't make sure you get checked out.
     
  5. 12barblues

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    I never really understood how a man would be sore...,,I'm sure the grip and texture of his hand when he masturbates is much tighter and more abrasive than a vagina could ever be....no?
     
  6. AGFUNK

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    My husband has gotten sore before but never swollen unless he's using his cock ring. Probably because he goes faster with me than he does masturbating.
     
  7. lbushwalker

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    Great advice AGFUNK; lube, lube and more lube.
     
  8. HotForHoney

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    Can you go to a clinic or a non-va doc?
     
  9. Kitten_

    Kitten_ New Member

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    Technically I could. My insurance is just covered only at VA doctors. Then there's an issue about medications. Say I was prescribed something and didn't tell. I could get smoked if they found out.
     
  10. HotForHoney

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    Well, I'd go to the non-va doc and see what he/she said. If you need an Rx, then decide what to do.
     
  11. Kitten_

    Kitten_ New Member

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    That's a good idea. Id hate for there to be something medically wrong.
    Thanks :)
     
  12. Anotherday

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    Lube darling, lots and lots of lube, and in your "off time" you may want to train yourself to accommodate him better with fingers and toys. There's no need in sex hurting unless that's something you enjoy.
     
  13. Trond

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    I have been a little sore sometimes. I am rather big, and my wife is from a country populated by mostly small people, so that may be part of the problem. :) I sometimes got the feeling that a relatively dry vagina was definitely more "abrasive" than a hand, as opposed to a wet vagina, which is smooth sailing :D
     
  14. 12barblues

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    Agreed... A dry vagina could cause very sore parts for both but a dry vagina is easily fixed with a good quality lube...so I guess I made the assumption there are no dry vaginas.... Lol.