question for straight women...

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Hero0fDaHouse, Dec 22, 2008.

  1. Hero0fDaHouse

    Hero0fDaHouse New Member

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    i often hear about women seeking sexual encounters with other women even though they are not attracted to women. however, i typically don't hear about women seeking sexual encounters with men who are average or below average on the looks scale. are women sexually drawn only to aesthetic beauty as opposed to "male-ness"?

    i'm just wondering because i am a straight guy and i am not sexually drawn to other men nomatter how attractive they are. but i am often drawn to women who are average or a little below average on the looks scale.
     
  2. Wckd_Beauty

    Wckd_Beauty New Member

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    It's not really about beauty, personally. I'm a straight woman but I find myself curious about women sometimes and I think it's because I see how men are so interested in women, I get curious and want to see for myself basically what men are curious about through women, by actually experiencing another woman. Other times women seek women out because we know what we want and how to reach the pleasure we want since we have the same body structures and yearnings. Sometimes we want to incorporate fantasies for you men in a 3some with another girl, to exercise our curiosity and to give you some fun as well. You also have to look at the media and what it's portraying today. For a lot of people, being with the same-sex has become a trend, but don't let that fool you. You have to sort out the stupidity from the actuality and those are the people who are honestly homosexual in their hearts/minds and those people who are curious, and neither is for show. But in the end, I am a straight female who chooses her boyfriend over it all.

    It seems like you're threatened that women are curious, but you shouldn't be. Not all women who are interested in other women are complete lesbians, and that's why it's a curiosity and not a complete preference.
     
  3. Hero0fDaHouse

    Hero0fDaHouse New Member

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    i'm not threatened that women will choose women over men or anything. but i do feel kind of threatened that beauty seems to be the major consideration. i mean, i'm an average looking guy. i'm not one of those "pretty boys". but from what i see, the "pretty boys" are the only guys who get the purely sexual attention from women that women get from men. however, i do often see other women getting that kind of attention from women as well.

    i'm wondering how i should feel about the fact that a lot of straight women would find the idea of a sexual encounter with another women appealing but would not feel the same way about a sexual encounter with me, even though i am a guy.
     
  4. Wckd_Beauty

    Wckd_Beauty New Member

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    I think it's just the women you're looking at because not all look for a man based on his outside appearances. Many shallow women who don't have much self worth do it, but women who know what they want and know where the good men are, keep their option open in a literal sense.

    ...and I honestly don't like the 'pretty boy' personality. It's a complete turn off to date a guy who is concerned most of the time about how he looks. I think you should feel however you want to feel. There's nothing wrong with disliking whatever. Branching off from your question, i've always wondered if same-sexuality is a slight narcissism as well.
     
  5. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    It is curious that women are much more likely to be attracted to women than men are to men. A couple of theories have emerged on this. One is that in our earlier hunter-gatherer phase (from covers most of our evolutionary development), men often went hunting, leaving women to jointly raise children and manage village life. Some think that women developed an attraction for each other by being together in this way. From the same period comes the theory about women developing generally better language abilities than men, and men through hunting developed better hand and eye coordination, and better abilities at spatial recognition. A second theory is that women are attractive relative to men, and attract other women accordingly. A third theory is that women having sex with women is a more socially acceptable sexual practice compared to men having sex with men.

    My experience of women, particularly as I got older, was that raw sexual attraction depended as much on maturity and confidence as it ever did on looks. If you dress well, are well groomed, stand straight, conduct yourself with maturity and confidence, and are okay looking, then women will be attracted. Clearly if you are not at least okay looking, then all the confidence in the world isn't going to help much in terms of raw sexual attraction.

    The confidence I am talking about is partly about being confident in yourself as a man, and partly about being confident when you make your initial eye contact with a woman. Of the two, I feel the latter is quite important, and women really do respond to confident flirting and confident body language that shows that a man's interested in them. Perhaps the 'pretty boys' have more confidence to present themselves and to flirt compared to average-looking guys. Women are much more tuned to body language than men, and probably they are more likely to use effective body language when they are attracted to another woman.
     
  6. Hero0fDaHouse

    Hero0fDaHouse New Member

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    ok first off, what is "okay looking"? i mean, some guys whom i would expect to be ok looking(in shape, tall, well groomed) lots of girls seem to consider ugly.

    also, what makes women more attractive relative to men? i mean, male attractiveness and female attractiveness are different right?
     
  7. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Hero...make yourself someone you'd like to be around and have a relationship with. If you do that, women will like to be around you and have a relationship with you.

    BD
     
  8. Hero0fDaHouse

    Hero0fDaHouse New Member

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    bassdude that's kind of difficult considering i'm a guy and i wouldn't want to have a SEXUAL relationship with a guy... i really don't know how to be the type of guy women would want to have a sexual relationship with.
     
  9. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Oh, so your real question then is how to attract women? Well...what about you is interesting? What would make anyone want to talk to you, not just a female?

    BD
     
  10. Dreama

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    Looks are such a small part of the equation-and sometimes, a person can have an awesome personality and it shines through-what would have been average is transformed into something much more attractive because of that awesome attitude. I'm also Bi, and I'm attracted to women for many of the same things as men, not because of looks.
     
  11. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Figure out who you are, then be that person. Be that person strongly and with confidence. Everyone likes different things, so there's not a "type" of guy that all women want to have a sexual relationship with, with maybe a few exceptions.

    Like Dreama said, personality will make the difference...you don't have to have the looks of a movie star. Have confidence (not cockiness) and be fun to be around. Do you enjoy being around someone who is just plain fun? Everyone does. If you are a hoot to be around, everyone will like you and want to spend time with you, including women.

    Be bold. Women want to have sex just as much as men do. Talk to everyone in a social setting, including guys, women you are interested in and women you aren't interested in. Ask the ones you are interested in for their phone number, email, or if they'd like to get together, whatever. Just ask. If you're fun, you'll get at least a few "yes" answers.

    I think many people are so afraid to look like an idiot in front of a stranger. Who cares? Put yourself out there, they'll either think you are an idiot or that you are brave and funny. If they think you are an idiot, then they stay a stranger...nothing lost is it? If they think you are brave and/or funny, then you have made some new friends and possible dates.

    If you don't have any female friends, make it a point to befriend some ladies without other intentions. Having a female friend or two who obviously trusts you makes you more appealing to other ladies.

    BD
     
  12. Wckd_Beauty

    Wckd_Beauty New Member

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    People are attracted to people who are themselves. Perfection is based on what you are as a person and completely embracing that. It shouldn't matter what other people think of you. If you are confident bout yourself then other women will see that and become attracted to you. In order to love someone else you must first love yourself, basically.
     
  13. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Couldn't agree more. If YOU don't think you are a fabulous person, then why would anyone else?

    BD
     
  14. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    I'm straight, but I am very curious about other girls... I wouldn't class myself as bi unless I had actually slept with a women and liked it... but I know what my type of women is =) short blonde hair, skinny, most of them are quite boyish in looks but not too much... I also have one HELL of a crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt, who i know isn't blonde or nothing, but she has this innocence about her that i like... not in a sick way, but like she's naughty yet you wouldn't know it until she showed you haha... i don't know if that makes sense.

    To like a girl she has to be REALLY attractive but I boys, I tend to fall for the personality or how they treat me as friends... As my boyfriend and me were best friends, and he really isn't attractive to many people but I think he's the most beautiful man alive because I love him so much. He isn't my type tho, since I love babyfaced men he is very rugged and VERY defined... mmm haha! If i saw someone else who looked like him I wouldn't look twice, but a babyfaced guy i would.

    Think i just went off on one there, sorry.
     
  15. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    We all have different stages in life. I learned from a friend whom is a gay male and it was when I was still trying to understand myself as a transgender female. He said something Along the lines of the human spirit take centuries to grow. Where a new spirit starts out like a fresh slate. Hense maybe a person who is very heterosexual. Then after the body dies it moves on and learns from their previous life. Applying what they have learned. And then as each life is experienced, they have a different pespective In Reality, science, and spirituality. Like you go from straight, curious, bisexual to gay. I looked at it this way @ How some people are. They just need more time to grow. It's like the birthing process. With each life experience we learn and take what we learned from previous lives and at the end we just get to be human.

    So just look for that older spirit. Trust me. U'll find the right person.